There's been a lot of racket as of late about online dating - some people dismissing it completely while others acknowledge the good results they've had. I've had my share of online/offline experiences myself. Here's my take on it:
Online dating can be a numbers game just as much as meeting girls the conventional way - but I think it relies more heavily on LUCK. After talking to a girl online for a while, it's very easy to find yourself idealizing her in the best light possible, and she might very well do the same. This, guys, opens doors to disappointment. The best thing to do is to talk as little as possible online, a little on the phone, and meet that same week if possible. That way, you know right away whether or not there's chemistry/attraction and you keep from wasting valuable time getting to know someone more who you might not connect with at all. If it just so happens that your perception of her matches reality, you're one lucky S.O.B, because it usually doesn't happen.
Speaking of attraction, if you haven't realized it, the attraction process works in reverse online. In person, two people are initially drawn to each other through physical attraction, and then they get to know each other on other levels to see if they click like that as well. Online (in IM) and later on the phone, however, a girl is more likely to first be drawn to you based on what you tell her and your character, behavior, etc ONCE she really gets to know you. That isn't to say that the picture doesn't matter. Girls seem to be more shallow online at times than in person because they really have nothing else to go by. In person, a girl could initially not be so physically attracted, but tools like confidence and sense of humor work wonders on their emotions - they can't help but get attached, and this doesn't work as effectively over a computer. That's why you have to meet them as soon as possible.
So what should you do? Get her picture first. If you think she's hot, don't send her your picture yet and let her get to know you first by applying C&F techniques, etc. Once you feel she's earned the chance to see the pic, she's less likely to put as much weight on the pic, for she is already drawn to you on another level (This should take about a week or two and should only be done if you really like her).
Like most of you, I've met some real weirdos online. One had just broken up with her ex (she said she broke up w/ him but I think it was the opposite) and she decided to pick a lucky fool (me) to avenge for her out-of-wack emotional state. Another one had been engaged and cheated on a few months prior, and I should have seen that as a red flag but I never did. I met one that was the biggest drama queen I've ever met, and she was fat too. I met two others that were very overweight. And the other two seemed to put their guard up so high (they were not comfortable with the offline meeting thing) that they were flustered and boring the whole time. Out of all the ones i've met from online, i've had a relationship with one, which was another nutcase that had emotional problems; couldn't commit and wanted to see a shrink.
So as you could see, I haven't had the best of luck. I'm not on one of those personals sites; I just randomly IM these girls in the AOL Directory and take my chances, which is awfully risky but oh well. Even though I haven't had any great experiences thus far, I don't regret having met these girls. I used to be a very shy and introverted guy, and meeting these girls gave me great practice. I feel that i've developed enough confidence to approach them in person, use c&f now, etc to leave the internet routine alone for a while.
I'll pick meeting girls the conventional way any day - nothing beats the thrill and challenge of winning over a girl you met unexpectedly in school, at the mall, etc. To me, meeting them online seems more fabricated and sometimes too time-consuming, but it has its advantages. You could meet girls like this that you otherwise would never meet in person. But it makes you wonder why attractive girls that could get any guy would choose to put their ad up. They have their motives - just got out of a relationship and need attention, want an easy lay, etc.
Although you shouldn't knock off online dating completely, you should make it your second option. Resort to searching online when you are super busy and don't have that much time to be frequenting clubs and other places. The more you go out and meet them in person, though, the more sociable you become and the more confidence you can build up. It's all about having the right balance.
Online dating can be a numbers game just as much as meeting girls the conventional way - but I think it relies more heavily on LUCK. After talking to a girl online for a while, it's very easy to find yourself idealizing her in the best light possible, and she might very well do the same. This, guys, opens doors to disappointment. The best thing to do is to talk as little as possible online, a little on the phone, and meet that same week if possible. That way, you know right away whether or not there's chemistry/attraction and you keep from wasting valuable time getting to know someone more who you might not connect with at all. If it just so happens that your perception of her matches reality, you're one lucky S.O.B, because it usually doesn't happen.
Speaking of attraction, if you haven't realized it, the attraction process works in reverse online. In person, two people are initially drawn to each other through physical attraction, and then they get to know each other on other levels to see if they click like that as well. Online (in IM) and later on the phone, however, a girl is more likely to first be drawn to you based on what you tell her and your character, behavior, etc ONCE she really gets to know you. That isn't to say that the picture doesn't matter. Girls seem to be more shallow online at times than in person because they really have nothing else to go by. In person, a girl could initially not be so physically attracted, but tools like confidence and sense of humor work wonders on their emotions - they can't help but get attached, and this doesn't work as effectively over a computer. That's why you have to meet them as soon as possible.
So what should you do? Get her picture first. If you think she's hot, don't send her your picture yet and let her get to know you first by applying C&F techniques, etc. Once you feel she's earned the chance to see the pic, she's less likely to put as much weight on the pic, for she is already drawn to you on another level (This should take about a week or two and should only be done if you really like her).
Like most of you, I've met some real weirdos online. One had just broken up with her ex (she said she broke up w/ him but I think it was the opposite) and she decided to pick a lucky fool (me) to avenge for her out-of-wack emotional state. Another one had been engaged and cheated on a few months prior, and I should have seen that as a red flag but I never did. I met one that was the biggest drama queen I've ever met, and she was fat too. I met two others that were very overweight. And the other two seemed to put their guard up so high (they were not comfortable with the offline meeting thing) that they were flustered and boring the whole time. Out of all the ones i've met from online, i've had a relationship with one, which was another nutcase that had emotional problems; couldn't commit and wanted to see a shrink.
So as you could see, I haven't had the best of luck. I'm not on one of those personals sites; I just randomly IM these girls in the AOL Directory and take my chances, which is awfully risky but oh well. Even though I haven't had any great experiences thus far, I don't regret having met these girls. I used to be a very shy and introverted guy, and meeting these girls gave me great practice. I feel that i've developed enough confidence to approach them in person, use c&f now, etc to leave the internet routine alone for a while.
I'll pick meeting girls the conventional way any day - nothing beats the thrill and challenge of winning over a girl you met unexpectedly in school, at the mall, etc. To me, meeting them online seems more fabricated and sometimes too time-consuming, but it has its advantages. You could meet girls like this that you otherwise would never meet in person. But it makes you wonder why attractive girls that could get any guy would choose to put their ad up. They have their motives - just got out of a relationship and need attention, want an easy lay, etc.
Although you shouldn't knock off online dating completely, you should make it your second option. Resort to searching online when you are super busy and don't have that much time to be frequenting clubs and other places. The more you go out and meet them in person, though, the more sociable you become and the more confidence you can build up. It's all about having the right balance.
D) are excellent qualifiers and can either have a face to face meeting or next a woman online in a week or less. Good ones can actually meet a woman or two each week.