Online Dating Sucks

[rrrrr]

I've been on eHarmony since December 3, and have yet to talk to anyone over the phone or even personal e-mail. I realized I just spend $180 to waste my time on that site trying to meet someone and filling out a bunch of questions. I also signed up to American Singles, and there are so many scam artists and fake profiles up there it's ridiculous, that when a girl actually writes to me, I think she's a fake if she's halfway good looking. Also, any decent girls that write or click yes on me are out of state!

All I seem to be able to attract is overweight moms or just overweight ugly women online. I'm not the best looking guy, I'm about average face wise, but I'm also tall and I'm not overweight, I think I should be able to at least attract a similar woman. And if I'm average I'll be good looking to at least some women.

I only actually e-mailed like 3 women on American Singles because I don't feel like spamming, but it seems at this point that would be the only way to get a date. I don't see why it's so hard to attract a woman online when I can go to a bar on a Fri or Sat night and having 75% chance of a woman approaching me. I get like a 1% chance of a woman interested in me online.

I think the problem with online dating is there are way too many guys on there that e-mail women, it almost seems like if you're a woman on that site you will get like 5-10 emails a day. How can anyone compete with this??? Do you have to write like 50 women on there and hope that at least one fat girl with kids writes you back? Because it seems like that's all that would happen to me if I did that. Has anyone had any success that can give me some tips?

 

[Fuglydude]

Hey bro, try a site www.plentyoffish.com, its' FREEEEE so you got nothing to lose... yes I couldn't believe it when I saw it!

I've scored a fair bit of ass off that site. Lotsa easy girls on it!

Good luck!

 

[ExploringOne]

Just drop the whole online dating thing.

 

[DJDoomage]

Dudes! I browsing through that site and like I want to bang every chick I see on there, except the first one, because she looks like a guy. Great site!

 

[kyphan]

Dating is what you make of it. If you want to get dates using the Internet there is tons of material on how to write e-mails and get women interested. If you do well getting girls in person, then do that. Do you think complaining about it will suddenly put a date in your corner?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So lets review:

• You've joined a site which is notorious for scam artist and you get notes from who? Scam artist, right?
• You joined another site which caters to divorcees who have been through a lot from previous relationships and you get notes from who? Overweight moms, right?
• You've only sent out three emails and how many phone calls have you generated?

You get what ever you put into sarging, on or offline. Search the forum for threads giving tips about becoming successful online. There's more than enough threads out there on this subject already.

 

[Fuglydude]

Dudes! I browsing through that site and like I want to bang every chick I see on there, except the first one, because she looks like a guy. Great site!

Which site are you talking about?

 

[DJDoomage]

Plenty of fish.

 

[Obsidian]

I actually tried the free version of EHarmony, and I got mostly girls who were out-of-state as well. I thought maybe I was being too picky with my qualifications, but I'm getting the feeling that's just the way the site works.

so I don't really plan on actually paying for the service. Thanks for the heads up to everyone.

 

[Fuglydude]

Plenty of fish.

Ya...its billed as a dating site, and most people see it this way...but I've made lotsa female friends (former FBs) through that site as well.

Girls on it are relatively easy too (at least in my neck of the woods!), so its a sight I'd recommend. Lotsa girls on there are just looking for hook ups, so its a great way to practice your game, build confidence, etc.

 

[KanajoGaHoshi]

Interesting. I'll need to try that site. I'm on Spring Break now and stuck in town, so I'm trying some free services from other sites. I made accounts on okcupid and match.com yesterday. Sent a couple messages on the former, seen nothing of interest on the latter. I'll try the plentyoffish now.

I'll be honest, I have yet to approach IRL. I've been seeing a counselor since Oct.2006 for this purpose. It's helped a lot in ways to make me more social and got me to correct my posture/body language, but I'm still too scared to approach women I don't know. She recommended to contact one doctor, but I have yet to submit. I'm going to try these online venues for the week to see where it takes me.

 

[ObieJuan]

lol, here's what's happening in Obie's mind as he clicks through profiles:

"Hmm, what have we here, a cute girl looking to Date? *click* Ack! Single mom! Abort! Abort!"

then another:

"Short hair and glasses. Cute! *click* oh wait she's a veggie eater...scratch that. If she only eats vegetables just imagine all the other quirks in her personality"

"Ah here we go, this girl looks nice enough...*click* wait, so you're handicapped? Nothing in your profile pics hint to this! *reads* 'Not looking for intimate relationships' LoL if I were in a wheelchair I'd be looking for intimate relationships, nyuk nyuk"

Seriously, they should change the name of this website to damagedgoods.com; that would be much more fitting, hahahah. I know, I'm an @sshole but I can't help it...people are just so damn funny. Maybe if I were that funny I'd actually attract someone! I wonder if those gals are actually having any success by putting themselves out there like that.I'm not sure what's worse, the fact I'm looking at this site or the site itself. Maybe there is some hope after all but after digging through countless personal ads I haven't found many girls that I'd give the time of day, likewise for them.

I agree, online dating blows, and not the way I'd like it to either.

 

[rrrrr]

Well, at this point I think eHarmony is a huge waste of money. I got maybe a total of 50 matches since December, which wouldn't be that bad if they were actually good matches. That whole 28 parameter thing is BS, they are no better matches than random. I signed up at AmericanSingles last month and spent $28, this one girl and I both clicked "yes" on each other, I emailed her, she never e-mailed back, now almost 2 weeks later. So I guess that she "flaked." So last nigh I e-mailed about 15 women, and got 2 responses back. One e-mail address and 1 girl said she'd talk to me, so this isn't bad. I guess you just have to put effort into things. That whole eHarmony thing was a letdown, I think I even tried match.com which was also a disaster. I could try plenty of fish too.

So eHarmony and match.com don't work for me (though that was years ago and I'm sure my profile and essays sucked compared to what I'd write now, I could try again). Plenty of Fish has good recommendations. Any others?

Thanks.

 

[nonchalant]

plenty of fish girls in my city are FUGLY

 

[Sargeholic]

Your problem is that both of the sites you used are crap. Match.com and Myspace are probably the best sites for online dating. I dont know about Plenty of Fish, and I have heard Facebook is great if you are in college or very close to that age.

Try asking very different, somewhat bizarre qualifying type questions and moving very quickly from e-mail to other mediums. I've been able to get 3+ dates a week from just Match doing this.

Also, don't use this as a substitute for real PU. You can be knee deep in sex and never do a single cold approach using just online, but you still have to have real game (attraction, vibing, escalation) to convert on the meetups. As Warren Buffett once said, "when the tide goes out, you find out who's been swimming naked."

 

[Raikojo17]

Your problem is that both of the sites you used are crap. Match.com and Myspace are probably the best sites for online dating. I dont know about Plenty of Fish, and I have heard Facebook is great if you are in college or very close to that age.

Try asking very different, somewhat bizarre qualifying type questions and moving very quickly from e-mail to other mediums. I've been able to get 3+ dates a week from just Match doing this.

Also, don't use this as a substitute for real PU. You can be knee deep in sex and never do a single cold approach using just online, but you still have to have real game (attraction, vibing, escalation) to convert on the meetups. As Warren Buffett once said, "when the tide goes out, you find out who's been swimming naked."

well said

 

[rrrrr]

So I got a girl's e-mail. I should ask her some type of off the wall question (but not weird) and when she answers, ask for her phone number?

 

[ryannath]

Well, yes you eventually should try to get the number. But, don't ASK for it. TELL her to "give me your number and I'll call you sometime." Do that after you have some comfort and rapport and do it on a highnote.

I would also like to say that with the women I have got online, I don't care what online website it is, myspace, or an adult sex site, it is all the same, the women are looking for fvck buddies and that's it mostly. Not many of them are looking for a bf/gf relationship from a guy online, just a good nut and if you were good, some more nuts. That's pretty much the way it works offline in bars and in everyday life too though.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So I got a girl's e-mail. I should ask her some type of off the wall question (but not weird) and when she answers, ask for her phone number?

I'm curious, do you follow this method when sarging offline?

 

[mrRuckus]

Searching online for anything makes me sick. There needs to be ways to when doing a search to filter out by weight.

I really just don't have the patience to go through that many profiles. You guys post threads about myspace and all that and messaging 100s of girls and just playing the numbers games but there just aren't that many girls i'd even want to talk to let alone meet in person so i struggle just to find one or two to message.

I've been doing this lately as I'm planning on moving from where I am now and i'm trying to find a nice balance that I can live with. So if there's a city i'm interested in that has jobs i can get, i do a search for women in the area to see what is available there and message a few to pump them for info on the area.

Whoever said damaged goods is right. Far too many of the women are just broken... maybe I'm just picky but i weed out women who post up pictures of themselves drunk or hanging out of their shirts because i write them off as attention wh0res. If they are trying to grab that much attention in a freakin online profile i don't even want to know how they are when they are out and their boyfriend is at home.

but it seems at this point that would be the only way to get a date. I don't see why it's so hard to attract a woman online when I can go to a bar on a Fri or Sat night and having 75% chance of a woman approaching me. I get like a 1% chance of a woman interested in me online.

This is bullsh1t. You said you are just average and i am good looking and no women approach me. I'm not amazing so i hardly think my good looks scare them off. Sure they're receptive when i talk to them but rarely does one talk to me first unless she's already talking to a friend of mine and has conveniently found an excuse to 'innocently' talk to me.

I don't get what you don't see. Women online have hundreds of guys to filter through. Women at the bar have far less and can far more quickly eliminate guys based on attractiveness and your body language.