"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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online dating question

DJArlington

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I am using an online dating site to meet women. So far, I've met one girl online and met her in person and things went really well. I was wondering though - what are the online rules? If someone pings me on the online dating site, should I wait a few days to respond? Should my emails contain little details about myself?

Thanks...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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MikeEdward1973

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There's like a million opinions on this. But, my 2 cents is that it's fine to respond the same day. Just don't make it look like you're sitting in front of your computer 24/7. Within 6 to 12 hours is just fine. Some guys will tell you to wait 24 hours or something, I wouldn't worry about that, if you're truly self-confident.

In terms of details, I usually send one standard paragraph with 5 or 6 good sentences talking a bit about myself, what I do, etc. And then close with a couple questions for her.

But - at the end of the day, you don't want to trade more than a few emails before asking to link up for a drink, coffee, etc. Name of the game is to get offline fast.

Just to clarify, I send that more detailed paragraph as a 2nd email, not a first.
 
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Andy_Dufresne

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What worked best for me: A funny story on your profile that illustrates what you are about (i.e. I used a story about my kids) but doesn't give away the store.

2 emails max. "Hey whassup" kind of stuff, spread it out over 3-5 days (same day is wayy too soon - show them you have a life) - get a number close ASAP, get their ass in a seat at Starbucks ASAP.
 

DJArlington

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Thanks guys. I'm going to keep patience and will send max one or two emails, will get them on the phone, and will try to meet up with them ASAP. I replied to one of the girls right away and she responded so I'm okay, but with the other one who is a total hottie I responded right away and haven't heard back. We'll see what happens. What I'm noticing is that once I pull back I'm usually okay.
 

Paradox

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Like everything else on this board it is not a science and there are not hard and straight rules. as long as you don't seem desperate (live or online) you should be ok.

Do a search because there are some gold nuggets about online dating buried in this and the Main Discussion forum.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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SoCalMike

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Keep the emails brief, and strike fast - ask her out right away. There is only a small window of interest before the next 10 dudes email her.
 

cedd

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I used online dating over the last few years with great succes and I do agree with some replies here.

2 emails MAX could one of the major rules.
first email = approch with some funny things and commentaries about her profile. keep it short.
if she reply with IOI (questions about you etc...) then send a couple of days later a second mail and ask for a phone number.

corollary : don't waist your time with girls that are not interested.

minimize the time online to maximize the time offline.

cheers
 
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