"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Online dating is better in other cities

Omen

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I always wondered how online dating compared in other places, but where I live, and I was shocked. Now maybe it is the population, but after I played around a bit, I realized that it sucks where I live.

For instance I took my city, and got 650 women and this is everyone on a dating site. I then took off has kids, doesn't smoke, and single... And I get 170.

I then decided to see what it was like in other cities. I chose Denver, Boston, D.C, and maybe because they are bigger, but you get 1,000 even by taking off the things I did. I was like... hmm.. how about I even take out some height. I was still left with 950 women on one of them at a height of NOT OVER 5'6"

I even had my area set to 50 miles and the others set to 25.

I guess I never realized how thin they were in my area. It has to be the population, age, or else more women in bigger states try the online dating deal.

I'm not sure how many of you have done the whole deal, but 1,000+ choices over 170, is a big :down: and :up:

Great for the people who live in big cities, and not so much for those that dont. But at the same time I guess you can say there are just that many guys competing for that many women in the bigger cities.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Entropy4

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MacAvoy said:
The grass is always greener on the other side.
I was going to say the exact same thing.

I live in Boston. I've done a total of maybe three days of online game in my life. Why? Because there are so many women to look at, E-Mail, and message back and forth that it takes HOURS. And because they're constantly being inundated by 50 other guys, it's hard to get them to respond consistently and promptly, much less actually get them out on a date. After about six hours of effort with only two phone numbers and no dates to show for it, I had an epiphany: in that six hours I could have jumped on the subway to a local bar and opened dozens of sets.

So I closed my browser, got on the subway, went to a local bar and opened sets. The girls were hotter. It was more fun. And it didn't take for-****ing-ever to get a date. :)
 

MotownMack

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I was going to say the exact same thing.

I live in Boston. I've done a total of maybe three days of online game in my life. Why? Because there are so many women to look at, E-Mail, and message back and forth that it takes HOURS. And because they're constantly being inundated by 50 other guys, it's hard to get them to respond consistently and promptly, much less actually get them out on a date. After about six hours of effort with only two phone numbers and no dates to show for it, I had an epiphany: in that six hours I could have jumped on the subway to a local bar and opened dozens of sets.
There is some truth to both of the above comments.

It really depends on your game. Online, I do really well and move pretty fast. I don't have the same problem getting numbers or responses.

The problem comes in with unknowns when you meet them in person. If the there isn't a RL connection, then your times completely wasted often times.
But I try not to spend too much time on the phone or chatting.

The rule pretty much goes like this. You'll get more leeway for perceived flaws if you've developed some rapport in person (i.e. when you meet in person, and not online). If you meet them online, if you don't have that in person chemistry with a woman, it doesn't matter how great your personality is, you lose. So, there is a greater potential to complete waste time online. In real life, you can still suffer the same loss, you'll just know a lot faster.

I think common sense applies in terms of the OPs comments though. More populated areas will have more options than less populated ones. I know when I come across profiles in California and Florida, they're loaded with hotties and tons of girls. So, what the OP does have at least some truth.
 

Wodan

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I agree with you omen, i live in a city for university half the year and come from a small town which is a much less densly populated area, its many times easier to meet them in the city online i find.

the people tend to socialise more there and be more open to speaking to new people and more importantly know how to do it, ive still got a mixture of girls from the quiet area and the city, and the ones from quiet areas can often be really orkward wheras ones in the city often arent.

I think it says in the book of pook that good looking girls flock to big cities etc to get a bigger catch and be noticed more etc. I find that to be true also
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Omen

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I hear Entropy about going out to the clubs and spending way less time than online. But some of us dont have what those cities have. My club selection is pretty lame to put it lightly.

I guess you just have to deal with what you have. And I can say that meeting women when you dont have as many options sucks.

I had moved to a bigger city once, and it took me only 3 months to find a girlfriend and that was a LTR for a year. I mean I didnt look right away cause I had to settle down, meet people and get on my feet, but it was just WAY easier. Not to mention so much more to do.

People in Boston, DC, and such seem to have it made. When I say there are about 15 bars here TOTAL, and someone elsewhere says they have that in a tiny radius it makes me wonder what is out there. And not only that, just everything else a bigger city has to offer.

I hear DC is the place for many younger people in their 20's
 

Bible_Belt

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Omen said:
I'm not sure how many of you have done the whole deal, but 1,000+ choices over 170, is a big :down: and :up:

For me it is more like 17 instead of 170. I searched match.com once for women 22-30, and I got less than twenty ads within fifty miles of me. And they were all heifers.

By contrast, there are probably a thousand myspace accounts of women that age within my same area.
 

MacAvoy

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Omen said:
People in Boston, DC, and such seem to have it made. When I say there are about 15 bars here TOTAL, and someone elsewhere says they have that in a tiny radius it makes me wonder what is out there. And not only that, just everything else a bigger city has to offer.
This is a defeatist attitude. I recently moved back to where I use to live. Before I moved away, there was 1 bar here, now there is none. The nearest bar is a 40 minute drive.

But you know what, I still managed to get laid probably every weekend from a different women.

Stop focussing on better places and make the most of where you are at.
 

Wodan

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Omen i suggest you visit some other cities, find one with a vibe that suits you and a high ratio of women to men in clubs and move there. even inside the club location is really important, for someone thats struggling anyway it can be the nail in the coffin, i know because ive come from a place like that myself.
 

Omen

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Bible_Belt said:
For me it is more like 17 instead of 170. I searched match.com once for women 22-30, and I got less than twenty ads within fifty miles of me. And they were all heifers.

By contrast, there are probably a thousand myspace accounts of women that age within my same area.
This is true. By the time you take off the heifers, then you are down to only a handful. lol

And as I was doing some reading in my journal I kept when I had moved once, I realized I had met a girl with-in 30 days of moving. This one I ended up dating for a year. I dont know, but it was just easy when I did it.

I'm sure on the 17, cause I am located in the same place as you, and can say that if you dont live in a city, and in the outskirts, you can be screwed.

You could live in a small town, where there is NOTHING to do, and the closest place to do something is 20-30miles away.

I mean yeah, we do have to make due with what we have, and I see that. I was just stating how it must be much better in other cities, as well as the whole dating scene, and night clubs.

I'll see places online on shows or in a magazine and I think... Damn I wish we had stuff like that here. The social scene isn't like it should be.

I've always thought about seeing what Phoenix was like. Been forever since I was there, but it seems like a great place.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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