Online Dating is Beta Game

[Who Dares Win]

In all honesty I prefer much more to be rejected after a bold attempt in a club than have some girl ignoring me online, in the first case I feel that at least I had a chance through action even if the outcomes was bad while in the second time when I get ignored I feel like being cutted off even without being given an opportunity.

After a rejection at the club I can approach an other girl in few seconds but when I write to girls online and they dont even bother to reply it kinda pisses me off.

 

[BeDJ]

The convenience (ease and comfort) of online dating and the apprehensiveness of cold approaching differ greatly in the initial 'approach.' It is the mental process during the approach that develops inner confidence.

Approach Anxiety

The mental fluctuations to get in your head whether or not to start a conversation. You mind is telling you to man the fυck up, but your feet feel paralyzed. Or your mind is telling you that she just wants to get her coffee and go, but your are moving towards the target in place. That's the power of the mind, unless you train to think differently, it will always stay in its comfort zone. Because...

Fear of Rejection

For most people, this is the greatest motivation killer. Rejection can be so intense for people that society has taught us to skirt around it. Point out their positives before denying them what they want. The last meal before execution. You get over the fear of rejection by having it dished out to your face over and over again. It's going to leave a bruise the first few times, even first hundred times. But soon, it will start hurting less until you are almost immune to it. Because...

Regret

Today, there was a girl waiting for her coffee at Starbucks. I was on the phone and exchanged eye contact and a smile with her. She grabbed her drink, turned around smiling at me and left. What if I just yelled out WAIT! Coulda, woulda, shoulda, it was a fleeting moment and I'll never see her again.

With social communications today, we experience a lot of rejection indirectly. It's there to ease and comfort us, it's a convenience to our feelings. Nothing hits closer to home than a stone cold No to the face, but you must experience it over and over again to achieve genuine inner confidence. You can absorb the blοw with a grin, or you can conveniently click onto the next profile.

 

[nismo-4]

TWISI, Online dating is partially a new way for women to attention wh0re and grow options and for men to meet women, granted it's done right.

If men didn't overvalue pu$$y, thus inflating their egos heavily, women would happily be meeting us with no problems! Online dating ain't like it was 10 years ago.

 

[samspade]

An entire thread started about something you don't like.

Don't like it, don't do it.

I agree with your sentiment - in person approaches are better. At least for me they are. Maybe other guys have better success online. To each his own.

 

[buzzin_frog]

You still have to meet them face to face at one point for the meet up or lay. Doesn't sound very beta to me.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

You could look at online dating in a way like so suave. Everyone BS's on here then goes out and practices in real life. Online dating you BS and practice with them in real life.

Real life has it's advantages and disadvantages for some likewise for online.

Though I'd recommend anyone who does online dating never tries to wife up chicks who use it. Unless you want to wife up a chick who uses it just like most dudes do...to get laid on a regular basis.

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

You go that right!

A man's online dating profile is only as strong as his worst picture.

One bad picture will completely destroy any chance of getting any of action from online ladies!!!
Well... On POF anyway....

 

[Zarky]

I too don't really understand why any guy would care about a PU niche that doesn't work for him.

If you try online dating and you don't like it or it doesn't work for you, then do something else.

To assume that one method of getting laid is universally "good" or "bad" is very weird IMHO.

Yes, if you look like sh*t or you can't write or you hate being online or photos of you always look bad for some reason, then online dating may not work for you. So you find another method that does.

I always tell guys to find a niche. Doesn't matter what that niche is as long as it's working. If you sing awesome hymns or something and the chicks at church all want to hop on your groin, then go with that. If you're big and ripped and all the women at the gym want to rip off your spandex shorts, then go for that.

Hell, there's a dude on youtube named DarkSydePhil who plays video games and makes funny comments and films himself doing it. He's got like 50,000 videos online. He bones chicks based upon that minor "fame."

Doesn't matter, as long as you find your niche and turn it into a type of clockwork pickup method where you're doing the same things over and over in an environment where you feel comfortable.

 

[( . )( . )]

but if you need experience, online's the place to go.

Translation: If your a loser and piss your pants at real life interactions and gaming anything above a 5 then online dating is the place to go. We got river pigs, cluster B's and cougars up the wazoo.

Online gives "experience" with women. You couldn't make this sh!t up if you tried.

 

[Trump]

I too don't really understand why any guy would care about a PU niche that doesn't work for him.

If you try online dating and you don't like it or it doesn't work for you, then do something else.

To assume that one method of getting laid is universally "good" or "bad" is very weird IMHO.

Human behavior. Have to hate what doesn't work for you but is successful for others. Can't feel good about yourself otherwise.

It jealously, envy, anger. Online doesn't work for you, put it down. Cold approach doesn't work for you, put it down. Everyone's out to make themselves look and feel good at the expense of others.

 

[Serg897]

The OP is correct. Online is a horrible alternative to actually communicating with women in real life unless you are in the top 5% in looks.

This is because women will have anywhere from 10-100+ messages a day depending on how they look and the website, and are able to choose from the cream of the crop. Its the reality considering the sheer number of other AFC chumps are on there sending exactly the same messages. With those odds, I think its hysterical that some guys wonder why their response rates are so dismal.

Some on this thread have already said that to be successful online you have to send out hundreds of messages. The fact is, If you are sitting in front of your computer doing nothing but sending out random ****ty messages to women all day just for the sake of landing a date you have already lost. Online adds an extra step before even getting the phone #, which is a mandatory exchange of 4-5 messages that sometimes takes days before you even move the conversation to where you can hear her voice, and its another point where many lose the interaction.

Further, if you are sitting in front of your computer having these psuedo-interactions with women who may not even be real it only detracts from the time you could be out having a social life and having GENUINE human interactions face to face, and running game any number of ways with women who would otherwise ignore your profile online without a second thought. Not to mention the other stuff you could be doing with that time (books? hobbies?)

I have hooked up with HB 8's-10's in the past that I guarantee would NEVER have responded to a crap message online.

Online dating is a ****ty, time-consuming alternative to real life interactions that you must invest way too much effort in before getting even modest returns. Its simply not worth it. You guys on this website that know how to ask for phone numbers and land dates in real life should not be wasting your time, leave sites like OKC and POF for the chumps and go out into the real world, I promise the rewards will be greater.

-Serg

 

[( . )( . )]

Online dating is a ****ty, time-consuming alternative to real life interactions that you must invest way too much effort in before getting even modest returns. Its simply not worth it. You guys on this website that know how to ask for phone numbers and land dates in real life should not be wasting your time, leave sites like OKC and POF for the chumps and go out into the real world, I promise the rewards will be greater.

-Serg

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq2u0cmb2s1qii6tmo1_500.gif

 

[incognito42]

I too don't really understand why any guy would care about a PU niche that doesn't work for him.

If you try online dating and you don't like it or it doesn't work for you, then do something else.

To assume that one method of getting laid is universally "good" or "bad" is very weird IMHO.

The hypocrisy here is astounding. Maybe try taking your own advice

If you don't like someone elses advice or it's not for you, then you don't have to use it

 

[incognito42]

I'm going to have to agree with the original poster.

Online dating is a buffer to hide behind. It is a method for those who have not yet built up the confidence to cold-approach. I have done both and I can tell you easily which one is harder.

One is by a girl or group of girls right in front of you. The other is only a power button away and easy to flee. Hell, the common online rejection is no answer at all, which is not painful for the man initiating. But every face-to-face rejection is painful for physical cold-approach.[/

You've just explained why pof can be a very useful tool to grow your game, and work out the kinks rather than being thrown into the lions den and trying to learn in the face of constant real life rejection

An analogy I can think of is drafting a QB into the NFL and starting him day 1, are calling a young pitcher up to MLB too early and asking him to learn as he takes his lumps as an inexperienced rookie who's in over his head. A lot of times these QBs (or pitchers in baseball) stuck in this position will become mentally scarred from the early failures and they will never reach the potential that they could've I they had been brought along on a slower progression

Same thing as walking up to chicks and gettingrjected when you have zero game. A certain type of man will not learn from that experience, and will curl up into a ball of rejection and loneliness and not approach another chik for 6 months. So why is learned from that process? If that same guy can work through what part of his game works and doesn't work online without fear of REAL rejection he may prosper because of this like he never would've before

There's a LOT of guys here who fit into the criteria I explained above. Guys with immense approach anxiety who never evolve their game regardless of what knowledge they may gain reading these boards, because they mentally can't get through their AA and fears that theyve lived with all their life

 

[incognito42]

Translation: If your a loser and piss your pants at real life interactions and gaming anything above a 5 then online dating is the place to go. We got river pigs, cluster B's and cougars up the wazoo.

Online gives "experience" with women. You couldn't make this sh!t up if you tried.

You do realize what website you're on right? Almost every guy that's ever come here has had huge struggles withwomen like you describe. Many guys here dint lose their virginity until their mid to late 20s and some still haven't. Your post doesn't make a lotta sense when you take that into consideration.

Then again I realize after reading these boards regularly for 6 months that a lot of guys just come here to share their sexual exploits with other guys for some kind of online ego boost or validation from strangers, so I get how some people here forget that the majority of th guys here are exactly like the pathetic bed wetting losers that you described

 

[incognito42]

I can agree with this concept as far as improving your game and starting at a level not quite so intimidating.

However it is my belief that most men are not doing that, but rather just using POF or OKC as full substitution for gaming women face to face or through cold approaching.

That is the thing about training-wheels. You have to take them off at some point, but most people are too afraid to try.

You're 100% right and I actually agreed with your post just not the way you phrased it when you implied that it is ONLY used as a buffer for guys with weak game to hide behind and avoid real life rejection with nothing to b gained from it. A lot of guys do use it for that reason, but certainly not all guys

 

[( . )( . )]

You do realize what website you're on right?

Yeah and I'm still mystified as to when this place went from a bunch of guys pushing new guys to get out into the field, encouraging new guys to get those much needed real life rejections to a discussion page full of guys wanting POF advice, and then "MasterDJ's" actually entertaining them on how to shoot for the equal to or less than 5's. Have you even seen the main page?

Don Juan my ass, it's a timid AFC's who's not "quite" ready to get off the pot's paradise now. sosuave 2.0

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Yeah and I'm still mystified as to when this place went from a bunch of guys pushing new guys to get out into the field, encouraging new guys to get those much needed real life rejections to a discussion page full of guys wanting POF advice, and then "MasterDJ's" actually entertaining them on how to shoot for the equal to or less than 5's. Have you even seen the main page?

Don Juan my ass, it's a timid AFC's who's not "quite" ready to get off the pot's paradise now. sosuave 2.0

Moobs,

No one ever told anyone to make online dating the end all be all of meeting chicks. Just an extra way of meeting them BESIDES going out in real life to meet chicks. So try to relax Tittyboi, we don't need your chesticles exploding in a Hulk like rage. You can vent all you'd like in the Mature man section.

 

[Zarky]

The hypocrisy here is astounding. Maybe try taking your own advice

If you don't like someone elses advice or it's not for you, then you don't have to use it

I'm going to advise people to disregard your advice that my advice about disregarding the OP's advice should be disregarded.

 

[synergy1]

I use both. Prefer doing my best work in person, but doing it online is a supplement to when I am at work and doing other stuff. Not all, but many women respond to messages, a few have met, and a few I've hooked up with, but nothing to write home about.

Whatever, its not a big deal. If its a potential source, why not use it? Also remember, not all of us live in target rich environments. Wouldn't have this if I was living in southern california. Can only handle talking to so many women before it becomes tiring! ( read the 9 or so I was chatting with after my first 3 days there)