Online Dating - First Date

[XRCBWilliams15]

Hey.

New to forum, not to most of the techniques here. Read around a little, and have been unknowingly following your mantra since shortly after exiting the womb.

Have started online dating. It's working out nicely. Getting dates left and right, have 5 girls in my rotation right now, 2 more on standby. half and half from meeting them randomly in person, the other half from online. actually on one my better streaks in my life. getting numbers and closing left and right.

Now for my question. I usually take girls out and pick them up in my car to goto a date and then end up taking them home to my place once it gets hot, or they invite me in, and give me the "oh I never do this speech". I have probably kissed girls I date while we're in the car 9/10 times on average. The 1/10 is when I'm not feeling it. This is essentially my formula.

Have a girl coming to meet me from 30 min away, she's a HB10. At best, the rest I have on the hook are HB7-8 give or take 1 point. Let's be real. HB10, hard to find. Smoking body, smoking face (at least from the pics anyway, maybe she's an orca in real life lol).

Where do I K-close? Leave the how up to me, I'll get that **** done. Just never been a PDA DJ. I isolate, and get it done.

Do I have her meet me at my place then drive to dinner/drinks? Seems creeper to me.

Do I just kiss her on the street while the valet is getting the cars? In the restaurant? My backup plan, is walk to her car, K-close, and that at the worst gets me date number 2, or an invite to do something right then and there.

This just never has happened to me before (the outta towner sitch), kinda wondering how to put it down. For the record, I have never done the mid-date kiss. Just seems kinda weird (to me anyway). Don't want to blow it, she's ****ing hot.

****, I sound like a vag. I usually don't give a ****, but this whole online + distance is throwing my game off.

If it matters, she's been texting me like CRAZY, telling me how she can't wait for the date and to meet me, and is stalking the **** outta my online dating profile. I've played it aloof and cool. IOI city from her though. My profile is good. I'm in very good shape, am good looking , good job, good game....all the **** that matters on an online (or real life) resume.

Help it out DJs. She's gonna want it, where do I do it?!

Thanks.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Remember, she might have taken fifty selfies to look good in the one or two she showed to you. Don't pedastalize. And don't tell her she's hot until after she gets naked. At that moment, act like you just noticed for the first time.

 

[logicallefty]

I've been out with nearly 100 online meets in the last 10 years.

There is the whole "online creep" factor in that there are a lot of "creepy" men that do online dating. Thus many women prefer to meet you at the place you are going on the first date and maybe first couple. That got to be so common for me that I always just proposed that by default.

As for the kiss close, when I date is going well and my gut says her IL is decent, I don't wait until the end, I kiss her sometime in the middle. Sitting at a bar, middle of the movie, at the pool table, where ever I want. If you meet her and the date is over, always walk her to her car and kiss her right there. I can remember one date where I really thought the date was over, walked her to the car, kissed her what I thought was just a final kiss goodbye, and she said "Fvck! You kiss good. You need to follow me to my house RIGHT NOW!" And it was on!!:rockon:

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

biblebelt - yeah man, i am totally willing to admit this is true, and happens all too often. been out with a few on dates, and let me say they must be pro selfie photographers. but she sent me like 20 pics, and has been texting me pics, non selfies, full body shots, some without makeup and other ****. i think it's a real deal, but we will see.

lefty - I have pretty much decided that you are right, there is no way any normal woman's letting you pick her up if you've never met. she shouldn't, and I wouldn't ask, def seems creeper. I guess there is a first time for everything, may just have to go for k-close at the table if I'm feeling it. I'm taking her to a dim drinks/dinner spot, so we will be seated, but I can pull it off. I'll sit 90 degrees so it's at least physically possible. There's valet, and parking is a nightmare where I'm taking her, so I think at the car might be a bad spot. There's gonna be valet all in our faces. Fkn valet.

FWIW, I have decided though, K-close is mandatory on first online date (and almost any date, but more-so online), if she's worth it.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

The trick is, you have to treat this HB10 like ALL THE OTHER GIRLS YOU'VE DATED. She gets NO special treatment - YOU may see her as a 10, but keep in mind if she's single that means that, at some point, the guy she was dating before you lowered her HB level to a 6 or 5. If you keep in mind that looks are SUBJECTIVE, and that how YOU view her may not be how she views herself (i.e. she may think she's a 7 at best), you will realize that ALL these girls require the same process, regardless of how she looks. So, if the way you're acting has been working for all these other girls you've been meeting up with, do that EXACT SAME THING with this girl for success. Good luck!

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

Harry - Thanks for the advice. I'll pretend she's on the 'B' team. I'm looking forward to closing this one.

I'll update the thread after I close, in the meantime, keep the advice coming. I don't really talk to anyone about this stuff. My friends are for sure Beta as fvck, I try to help them, but it's basically pointless.

If it matters, she's 24 and I'm 30. I keep reading in other threads that all you DJ advisors want to see ages, and that's what's up. Pretty happy she's younger than me. The crazy factor just goes thru the roof in the 5 years between 25 and 30. When they hit late 20's, call the bell boy, cause she's gonna have a lot of baggage!

additional question - every woman you go out with online inevitably asks the same question: how do you like online dating? - How do you answer this question, I have a standard answer, but just wondering what you DJs like to say...

 

[Bible_Belt]

how do you like online dating?

"I think it's hilarious. Women are like job interviewers, and men are horny dogs who will hump anything. I don't know which side is funnier."

She will probably say that women are like that because of the way men are. Then you look straight at her and say "damn those horny dogs...damn them."

 

[Partizan]

I first thought a decent looking woman had it made when it comes to online dating, but then after hearing some of the horror stories, I honestly feel sorry for them.

When I see some of the fugly skanks that email me out of the blue, I multiply it times 10 and that must be what a pretty girl gets.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

not bad bible_belt. In my professional life, there's never been a job interview I haven't gotten. I think I'll weave that into your answer, should I decide to use it.

Partizan - yeah i hear you. so many sub hb5's email me. every once in awhile, there's a decent one. I think I might have been first in show with this one. I sent her an email the day she joined the website, and got her number by the second email. So I might be ahead of the pack. Either way, when she meets me, I'll definitely be ahead of the pack.

 

[logicallefty]

how do you like online dating?

"I think it's hilarious. Women are like job interviewers, and men are horny dogs who will hump anything. I don't know which side is funnier."

She will probably say that women are like that because of the way men are. Then you look straight at her and say "damn those horny dogs...damn them."

With experience I have came to the realization that online dating is not the place to meet for a LTR, but it is good for some temporary entertainment for the night in the exact same manor as drinking is: you drink, you have a good time, you are entertained. And the next day it's over, done, and gone. It was temporary entertainment.. Maybe you get laid, maybe you don't, but you weren't expecting to so it doesn't really matter. It you look at it that way you will not be let down. However, if you go into it with the high hopes of finding your next wife or GF, you are in for a major letdown.

I would encourage any man who is lonely and/or wants to sharpen his gaming/dating skills for when he goes out in the real world to use online dating as some great practice, and have some fun while doing so. Even if the woman is lower on the HB scale than you normally date, that's OK. Have some fun and practice with her.

As for who makes it worse, the women or the men, I blame the horny men. Why? Because I have higher expectations for men than I do women. I expect better from men and I respect men more overall, unless a women proves that I should respect her the same. But a HUGE problem in the AFC jungle is that more of these guys needs to learn to think with the upper head instead of the lower.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

logicallefty - I'm not sure that I agree. I think it can go either way. There's one HB7 I have been seeing for a few weeks, her level of interest is VERY high. If I didn't have so many other plates spinning, I could lock it up, I am certain of it. But, I can, have and will do better. I think the best advice on here is to never forget who is the hot commodity...yourself.

That being said, I think it's not good to go into anything with expectations when you haven't met the person in the real. When you've been out with a girl say 5-10 times, and she's blowing up your cell phone every single day trying to figure out a way to see you, asking what you're doing etc, I think it's pretty clear where her focus lies.

I definitely agree it's good for practice. My game is very sharp right now, and I would attribute this, at least in part, to online dating. In person game is way easier than online game. If you can run your game online, you can run it just about anywhere.

Thanks for the reply.

 

[MOTU]

For OLD first dates I like there to be an activity: shuffleboard, darts, dancing lesson, bowling, whatever. It helps the convo flow, gives you a chance to tease and presents kino opportunities.

I agree on meeting her there on the first date. What did Neil Strauss say; something like comfort + rapport = trust?

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

Yeah that's how it's going to go for sure. I'm going to take her a spot that is super close to my apartment. Another winning closing technique for me, is the post dinner walk.... after 3 blocks, point out my apartment... you can guess the rest.

Random question, not necessarily relating to online dating, but it could be applied. But when a woman tells you you're really easy to talk to... is that a negative or a positive? I cannot decide, it feels like a beta compliment, but I think is the unavoidable result of letting her talk about herself. I lean towards positive, because it's usually coupled with another compliment.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

Great three posts Espi. I guess the only thing everyone seems to be missing is that there will be no walking to the car. I am definitely familiar with the K-close after the walk to the car, and have done this before with online first dates. BUT - the places I have gone have either not had valet, or she parked herself anyway.

This place is a bit of a shvtshow outside, so between the valets being in our faces, and the outside crowd it's going to be a little different than what I am used to as far as K closing at the car. I think I'm just thinking about it too much. I'll get it done.

I like your answer to the 'what do you think of online dating' question.

Do NOT disclose whom you've met or how many you've met.

What if asked directly? This has happened before. I said 'you're sitting across from me now, what does it matter?'. Was caught off guard, not sure if that was a good answer or a bad one, but I slept with her within 1 week of first date, on second date.

Thanks for a great replies DJs.

 

[logicallefty]

logicallefty - I'm not sure that I agree. I think it can go either way. There's one HB7 I have been seeing for a few weeks, her level of interest is VERY high. If I didn't have so many other plates spinning, I could lock it up, I am certain of it. But, I can, have and will do better. I think the best advice on here is to never forget who is the hot commodity...yourself.

That being said, I think it's not good to go into anything with expectations when you haven't met the person in the real. When you've been out with a girl say 5-10 times, and she's blowing up your cell phone every single day trying to figure out a way to see you, asking what you're doing etc, I think it's pretty clear where her focus lies.

I definitely agree it's good for practice. My game is very sharp right now, and I would attribute this, at least in part, to online dating. In person game is way easier than online game. If you can run your game online, you can run it just about anywhere.

Thanks for the reply.

I hope you make a liar out of me and this woman is everything you want her to be, and she may very well be. Sounds like you are on the right track.

But for God sakes man, be careful. Read this crap here that happened to me with an online broad. Don't let anything like this happen to you:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=214228&highlight=hallmark

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

damn lefty - that's fvcked. no red flags with the HB10 so far.

IL = high
IOI = very high (she sent me some texts that you'd laugh if i posted them here, she blew up her own spot pretty big, maybe worse than any woman in my experience via text)
Response Time = fast
Contact Timing = daily, and she always hits me up when she one would presume I'd be out with someone else, and also when I login to my profile, I get an immediate text every time. It's borderline stalker, but I think I'll be okay!
ContentI let her write the last text, and let her initiate anything and keep it short, which has been hard, because she asks some big questions over text. I have been deflecting hard.

I appreciate your story though. Seriously man, my goodness. Glad you got out of there somewhat unscathed (albeit after some intense drama). I'm pretty cautious and generally untrusting of women in general.

But fvck, online dating is weird. It's a lot of fun, but when you are potentially interested in someone, it's immediately clear that you gotta be careful, and keep your expectations in check. I am expecting to meet a hot girl, who is a stranger, and maybe is doing some dude plate spinning of her own. But based on what she's said to me, I am undoubtedly better at that game than she will be.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

Thanks Espi for the advice again. Solid stuff here. The valet move is well thought out. I'm hoping she parks herself, but if she doesn't, I'll pull her in and go for it. I've always gotten the green light, and I'm not about to start now because of some onlookers. Not sure if I'm overly confident, or they actually want it, but I always at least think they want it, and it has yet to backfire. PDA on a first date won't be a first, I've done it before, but I'd be lying if I said it was my style. It's not.

Not sure if it's an IOI (although I think it is) - she keeps confirming the date with me. Sent me a text asking if I was still taking her out on Friday. This is the second time she's done it. I responded yes, asked her if she had ever been to this show in town (just bc I was curious, and I am supposed to go with someone else this weekend), she responded 'no', with maybe a 25 line text about something unrelated to which I didn't respond and she suggested maybe i should take her sometime.

Thoughts on this? The rechecking of the date 2 times?! I'm starting to think she is insecure, and not a bish at all despite all of her hot pics. Not sure how that happens, but it wouldn't suck.... how confusing. hb10, doesn't know it? Obviously I cannot be sure, but the signs are pointing in that direction. Last time I came across this was in high school, and I believe at age 25, it's pretty damn high on the endangered species list.

additional important info I should have included the fact that she essentially asked me out. I got her number, was legit busy for the entire week, we texted casually until she said she really wanted to meet me and we needed to get together. Then I asked her out. I can't take full credit because my current rotation has been dominating my evening schedule, but I think it distinctly worked to my advantage. Then after asking her, the double confirm, a text saying she can't wait etc etc.

 

[asa_don]

she's a HB10

are all the high end super models invading online dating now? :crackup:

she ain't a 10 bro, keep dreaming.

you guys overthink this sh!t way too much, thats why you end up having a sh!tty date when you have all this sh!t running thru your mind.

"am i doing this right?" "should i do that instead?" "maybe i should do this?" "will this work better?" "what if this happens?"

who gives a sh!t, just go out on your date and enjoy it, all those insecure thoughts is going to make your date not enjoyable when you're over thinking, let the sh!t happen man, the way its supposed to.

talk to her first, take her out, have a good date, then go for the bang, its not that hard when you're loose and don't overthink.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

Update... since last post I had to reschedule our friday date to last night. I have a minor business emergency that is making me have to fly to cali for the weekend.

Date went well. I don't know why I was sweating it, it went like every other date I have ever been on. Wasn't nervous when I got there. She was as attractive as pics. Used your response for the online dating question Espi. Said I'd met a coupla girls, but ended the dates by saying 'thanks for the date but I'm not interested'. Got the major impression this is a 'good girl' or at least she fooled me. Said I'm online dating site bc friend met wife there. She liked that. She was pretty damn smiley, lots of eye contact and flirting. Laughed at sh!t I said that wasn't funny. Seemed pretty into it.

Kino-ed the whole night at the table. Extended the date to a different bar with an out door patio. Continued kino. Did the old, brush the hair out of her face move and went in for the mid-date kiss. good kisser. she didn't use valet, walked to her car, kissed her g-night. She says she had a great time, gets touchy, hands in the ass/crotch area, a little more kissing.

Get a text 30 min later saying 'thanks, I had an amazing time with you, with a kiss face *)'

I'd say it was a win. Thanks for the confidence boost DJs. I still don't know why, but online dating does throw my game off a little. I usually am on top of it from the moment I meet a girl, but online, it's at a different pace. Doesn't matter apparently. I've K-closed or more every online date that I've wanted to. Some of them I just wasn't interested in whatsoever though.

She seems potentially datable. Not sure yet, but maybe. Nothing b!tchy about her, which is a huge fvcking plus. ill ask her out again in the future.