Online dating - another source or not worth it?

[TTAG]

hey DJs,

just a little bit sceptical to use online services. mainly because im 21 yo at uni, fairly social guy and know a few people. i feel like that i shouldn't have to use these services and that i should be able to meet girls out and about, which i already do.

just a bit hesitant i guess, especially because this one time i met this girl through my mobile/cell phone chat. bumped into a friend and word got out. i dont know, it wasn't exactly frowned upon, but they weren't too happy bout it either.

basically, what im saying is that if you use online dating sites, does it mean that you are socially inept?

whats everyone's thoughts?

 

[WestCoaster]

A decent outlet, but you may have better options

I'm using it right now with mixed results. I've had some nice dates and some gals flake out on me. It's a mixed bag. It is a good way to get some swings at the plate and work on dating/conversing skills.

However, since you are at a university, I'd say you have better options. Residence life, dorms or fraternities offer the best outlets into meeting women. When I was an undergrad I met a lot of women in the dorms.

Also, clubs, sports, intramurals, and organizations are also great ways of meeting women. And the "let's study for the upcoming mid-term" is a great way to get a date that doesn't look like a date, and it's in a non-threatening atmosphere. It's a good way to get to know someone.

I just got out of grad school and in grad school I didn't use the dating services. Despite being an older student I got plenty of dates with young undergrads and grad students. I did the "let's study for a test" many times, I got involved in some activities and the such and did well.

Now that I'm a stranger in a strange town and know few people, the internet personals are definitely needed.

Right now the only time you'd need the online personals is when you're not in college. Just my opinion.

 

[kyokon]

I cant see how it wouldnt be worth it, all you gotta do is send a few mails, make sure you get a pic before meeting etc... seems like youre more worried about what your friends think dude.
I dont really see much difference between meeting a girl in a club or something, and meeting online. A lot of girls I met the first way turned out to be not my thing and I wasted time doing it, whereas with the online way you get rid of the chaff quicker so that you only actually meet up with people that are more likely to be worth it (for LTR anyways). Another nice thing about meeting a perfect stranger is you dont have your/her friends watching your every move, and if you gotta dump her later you dont get any hassle from anyone.
Perhaps the best way to go is use it as a supplement to your normal social meeting girls situation. I don't recommend it if all you wanna do is bang'em though, clubs and the like are better for that. All in all I've had nothing but positive experiences with the online scene, but then again I'm a white boy in Tokyo and the girls here are too nice to flake or diss ya
About the social stigma thing, working long hours a lot of the time I feel perfectly comfortable with the internet setup cause its so convenient and allows a little cyber-mack during the otherwise wasted weekdays, but I reckon while in college there should be no need.... still, no big deal really, do as you please. would you rather have 10 girls on your radar, or 20 with your friends frowning?

 

[Austin Allegro]

I would say that if you are at uni you don't need to bother with online dating. Most of the women involved seem to be in the late twenties upwards and looking for LTRs often with very unrealistic expectations.

If you are at uni you have an endless free supply of available women, just get out there and meet them (oh and dont' take any crap about them having 'boyfriends back home' - these are often kept up for 'social proof' only. )

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Internet dating isn't any different than meeting someone face to face, actually that is your goal via the Internet. I've found that people who speak completely negatively about meeting people on the Net don't do well face to face either.

The fact is that you will meet as many @ssholes on-line as you would face to face mainly because it is the same people you meet on the street every day. Yeah, there will be phonies on-line there are just as many on the street too.

Once I used the ideas from this board, "Double Your Dating" and Doc Love's System on-line, my success rate grew dramatically. Understand that all I wanted was to meet different interesting and attractive women to hang out and do various things.

Although I didn't get dozens of responses a week, 5 or 6 were more than enough. But it all was because I understood how the game was played. This link will fill you in on some of the ideas.

Using the Internet Personals

 

[TTAG]

thanks guys, much appreciated

thanks for replying and giving some good opinions, not just one word answers, but in detail explanations.

sounds like a good idea to supplement meeting girls. i guess the reasons why im attracted to it, is the possibility for an LTR and cutting out all the crap and time you usually waste the first three dates on to figure out the girl is a nut job.

plenty of girls at uni, thats for sure. i guess i always run into the same problem tho, which happened once or twice to me last night. say half of the girls i approach, have like an attitude problem, and when i approach them, they are so up themselves and automatically assume im out to get their pvssy, which most of the time isnt the case, cos hey i just enjoy meeting new male friends as i do female friends. just making conversation to see if i like them, ive actually gotten to the point where the last few times i have been out and approaching and the girls act like this to me, i tell them straight up to get fvcked. well sort of i tell them that they are not all that and not every guy just wants their pvssy. anyways, sounds like a new post to me, so if you're keen keep your eye out for the responses.

and thanks again, the link was good too. i think ill give it a shot anyway.

 

[2c2bt]

What is a good way to describe yourself on a dating service?

 

[The Edge]

Why put yourself thru unecessary pain?

Originally posted by TTAG
hey DJs,

basically, what im saying is that if you use online dating sites, does it mean that you are socially inept?

Yes it does mean you are socially inept. Actually, its the most chicken-shytt way of dating as far as I am concerned. Everyone hides behind a fukkyn screen and pretends to be 30 lbs. lighter.

If you're into phukkyng fat, frumpy, bored, housewives,..then go for it, and may the gods of cellulite be with you.

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

 

[Doppler4000]

Waste of time. You'll spend weeks sending emails, talking a couple times on the phone, etc. etc. just to meet some chick who either put up a really old picture, is just doing it to feed her ego, or ends up not digging you.

It's a lot more efficient just to get out there in the real world.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Why put yourself thru unecessary pain?

Originally posted by The Edge
Yes it does mean you are socially inept. Actually, its the most chicken-shytt way of dating as far as I am concerned. Everyone hides behind a fukkyn screen and pretends to be 30 lbs. lighter.

If you're into phukkyng fat, frumpy, bored, housewives,..then go for it, and may the gods of cellulite be with you.

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

LOL, sounds like someone tried the net and got played

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Doppler4000
Waste of time. You'll spend weeks sending emails, talking a couple times on the phone, etc. etc. just to meet some chick who either put up a really old picture, is just doing it to feed her ego, or ends up not digging you.

It's a lot more efficient just to get out there in the real world.

What is it with you guys acting like AFCs writing emails for days and using the phone for anything other than setting up a meeting? Don't tell me, you fell in love with a woman that posted a Glamor Shots picture. You couldn't be THAT gullible! With all the emails and chatting are you saying that you didn't qualify her FIRST???!!! Are you guys learning anything from this site???

 

[Shadow Dancer]

Some people...hahhaha.

Yeah man, it works if you put the effort into it. It's very easy to do once you learn but it took me a couple years to get it down. It's just like anything else, put the effort in and you'll get the successes. I don't advise relying on the net though or you'll start using it as a crutch without realizing it. Meet people by all means available to you.

Here's my typical scenario...

I get her IM name from her profile
or
I send her an email, she responds, I respond back asking for her IM name.
or
She send me the initial email in response to my ad. I respond back to her and get her IM name.


Now that I have her IM name, I send her and IM when I see her online. We chat for about 15 minutes. If she's new to the online thing I'll talk with her for 30 minutes, tops. Keep things light and fun. Tell her I gotta go and I get her phone number.

Wait a few days. If I see her online during the waiting period, I don't IM her. If she IM's me I tell her I'm busy.

After those few days pass and I see her online, I send her an IM. Talk for about 30 secs. As I'm typing, I call her number. Makes an easy transition. Just keep talking about the same things you were before you got on the phone. Talk for 5 minutes. Set up a date, tell her I'm busy on XX day but we should get together the next day at XX time and meet me at my place. Plan made, tell her I have to go and I'll see her on the established day.

If I see her online before the date, again, ignore her and tell her I'm busy if she tries talking.

Go on the date, have great time and if I'm haveing a REALLY great time, have sex.

Simple.



-Shadow

 

[K Street]

If you're in uni, online services are a waste of time. Parties, bars, sporting events, on-campus concerts, even classes work well for meeting women.

Does your university have on-campus dining facilities? If so, ask to sit down with a girl eating by herself. Only the total b|tches will say no. You wouldn't believe how well that works.

 

[TTAG]

good to hear both sides of the story

very interesting comments made by plenty of people.

i keep on going out tho to uni events, bars, clubs etc. and i have really have this problem!

i always run into it too! this happened to me againthis past weekend many times. half of the girls i approach, have an attitude problem, and they are so up themselves! or its me? i dunno.

even if they are not that pretty, for example there was a HB5 three days ago at this club, i was sitting down on the lounge and she comes with her friend HB6 so i strike up some convo, they act all weird like im worse than dirt or something.

then i bumped into them on the dance floor later, and she grabs her friend and walks off. so i get the message.

i ended up seeing them again on the dance floor and the same thing happens. so i was chillin with mates bustin moves and they dont realise im there, then they see and tell me to get lost and leave them alone, im like what the fvck? i was dancin here u get lost, then they start whining about how im harrassing them and they push me, so im like right, im not taking this just cos they have cvnts! so i stand taller and tell them where to go- outta my sight! they get scared and run off, and it ends that quite a few people around saw what happen and i come off as the bad guy?

maybe the DJs or the Sydney guys and girl can tell me what im doing that is so bad?

sorry to blab, unrelated i know,

thanks for the internet dating input.