Online dating - Added 3 to tally in last week

[Zarky]

So 'round this time in the summer I start getting kinda horny. I'm shooting for my "40 by 40" notch count achievement and I was in the very low 30s so I wanted to use the horny opportunity to get those notches up a little, because lately I'd been apathetic about screwing new ones and my last new-girl screw was in January.

So starting about 2 weeks ago I spammed the dating sites with intro emails. Sent out probably 200 in the past 2 weeks. Made my profiles extremely sexual. The POF one gives me a lay for every 100 or so emails I send out. OKC I don't send out many emails but amped up the profile and continually changed it over days so it would pop me up on the recent-activity list. AFF I have a grandfathered account from the early 2000s which lets me send a certain number of free emails per day with no subscription.

So I had a drinks date with a southern chick, 30, on Tuesday. Very cute face, very. Little chubby though. We made out up against her car afterward but she refused to invite me to her place. She texted 15 minutes after we left, wanted a second date but I refused, telling her that I don't go out again with girls who don't put out on the first date. She was upset but oh well, live and learn. "Pass the p*ssy forward" as I say and she's be more likely to put out sooner with the next guy.

Wednesday night I hung out with one of my current girlfriends I've been seeing for 6 months. Had sex, standard decent sex.

Had a Thursday date lined up with a chick who responded to my spams on AFF, I sent them kind of blindly so only her body was shown in her pics. I figured with a decent body like hers I could get past the face thing if it was bad. Bad idea. Her profile said she was 41.

So Thursday I was prepping for my meeting with the AFF chick when another southern chick from POF -- late 30s, who I'd rejected before the first date because she didn't seem sexual enough -- invited me over to screw. Like literally texted me, inviting me over right now to screw. Said she'd "never done that before" but that she wanted me to know she was a sexual person. Ha.

So I went over there, girl is sort of trashy southern, 5 face but great, thin 8 body.. we had some good afternoon sex, then I told her I had to leave to "finish up some work." Only ever dated one southern girl before and here were dates with 2 in one week.

Then I drove up to the resort where the AFF chick was staying. Walked into her hotel room and omfg she was truly the ugliest woman I'd ever seen. And about 10 years older than her profile said. Body was ok, but didn't make up for that face.

But I managed to bang it out, not exactly super erect, but hey, I'm adding to my count here. Didn't come. We actually had a really great chat afterward until midnight when I said I had to leave. Never really chatted at length with a chick that unattractive but she was cool.

Then the next night (Friday) I had a drinks date with a chick who had contacted me from OKC, late 30s recently divorced. I mean really recently. Cute face but her pics were a little on the chub side. Her profile said she'd lost weight since they were taken so I thought "ok good enough."

Met up, she was indeed slimmer than in her pics. Clearly got chubby in her marriage, divorced her husband, and was slimming down. Went to three bars. She "bounced" me from bar to bar LOL. She was a huge drinker and put away shots and encouraged me to drink more. We split most bills, I think I paid a little more than she over the evening but didn't feel like I was being taken advantage of so that was fine.

Went back to her place and really banged it out. Quite good sex actually. She was like a porn star in bed, dirty talk, begging for me to come, the whole nine yards. I did. Then I fell asleep.

Next night (Saturday) we went out for appetizers and banged it out again. I didn't come, said I couldn't stay because of late-night work and left. Actually I needed to get some "me-time" because I'd not had 30 seconds to do my own thing and relax since Tuesday.

On the way home, both the AFF woman and the POF afternoon-sex girl texted and asked what was I up to. It was about 10PM by that time. Told the AFF chick sorry, then I went over to the POF girl's place and we boned. Didn't come, too tired. Spent the night.

Next morning (today) we boned again and I finally came. Dozed and snuggled for hours. Then we went out for lunch and had mimosas. Chatted it up. Later today the 6-month girlfriend called and wanted to hang out but I was so tired I fell asleep while texting her. Now I'm chilling by myself at my office.

So you might be wondering why I never take them back to my place. Fact is, for the past couple of months I've been sleeping on an ex's couch because business dropped off earlier in the year. I have to pay part of the rent and have sex with her (and pretend to like it) every week or so to stay there. :yes: Do any of these chicks know this? No.

 

[Boilermaker]

way to go very very inspiring...!

will give online dating more emphasis after reading these legendary stories ;D

 

[Zarky]

hehe well as you know, if you're looking for 8s and above, online is no place to be. I've screwed maybe two 7s and one 8 from online out of around 28 total. If you're looking for interesting experiences with 5s and 6s, then online is fine. Of course there is a huge minefield of 4s and below to avoid.

As I always tell people, when it comes to money and women, I'll take quantity over quality. If you're into quality then bypass the online scene.

EDIT: And to make the record clear, I'm not saying that my life is a life that anybody else would want to lead. I'm just trying to share my sh*t here in the hopes that somebody somewhere can pull a nugget or two of information out of it.

 

[Three]

Thanks for sharing all this, Zarky. I'm divorcing now from a BPD second wife and working on getting my numbers up to rebuild my confidence. Just had my first new girl in a few years and felt like my balls just grew back. Didn't have much luck with the online thing a few years back, but I'll probably give it another try soon after reading about your experiences.

 

[PDubb75]

Yeah, Zarky... I'll say good job to you since it seems you are getting what you want.

However, I have no desire to go this route. I'm not as interested in the number of girls as I am the quality of girls. I had a brief experience of just going after whoever I could get, and I got bored of it after just a few months. I think this may be the reason I have barely even attempted contacting girls on these dating sites since I joined them. Simply not interested...

 

[HalfAddict]

I have recently thrown up some online profiles at OKC and POF... cannot say I am all that impressed. Any lady with halfway decent looks appears to be bombarded with messages from needy desperate creepy men trolling for nudes or just general lames and afc's.

But even stranger, I receive lots of messages from 4's and below. I have yet to be messaged by a woman I would consider dating (aside from communications I initiated).

Now I am kickass, and a sexy manbeast to boot, least I like to think so =P

You seem to be having mucho success here dude, gimme some pointers.

Here is my profile for the whole of SS to make fun of .

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/BigB219?leftbar_match=1

Either way, I will probably be deleting or trolling it up soon as I am flying into Oklahoma City tomorrow, where I will then interact with the women..outside and offline lol.

 

[Boilermaker]

Yeah, Zarky... I'll say good job to you since it seems you are getting what you want.

However, I have no desire to go this route. I'm not as interested in the number of girls as I am the quality of girls. I had a brief experience of just going after whoever I could get, and I got bored of it after just a few months. I think this may be the reason I have barely even attempted contacting girls on these dating sites since I joined them. Simply not interested...

^
No offense.

But any man (who hasn't hit it with 1,000 or so women ) who prefers "quality" (whatever that is) over quantity when it comes to intimacy ...


is hiding/rationalizing/ and twisting some facts in my opinion.

I simply don't buy it.

People quickly lose interest for things they fail at. Fact.

 

[PDubb75]

^
No offense.

But any man (who hasn't hit it with 1,000 or so women ) who prefers "quality" (whatever that is) over quantity when it comes to intimacy ...


is hiding/rationalizing/ and twisting some facts in my opinion.

I simply don't buy it.

People quickly lose interest for things they fail at. Fact.

Seriously? You don't "buy" the fact that I don't care so much about the "number" to go fvck girls that can't even make me hard and can't get me to cvm?

I go for the best looking girls I can get. Not the lonely trolls crying in the corner because they are the only one of their friends not getting hit on (for good reason). I don't think that's too hard to buy...

It's called standards. Nothing sounds fun about fvcking a 4 with a semi until I get so bored I pull out and leave. I honestly would rather fvck my hand.

 

[Boilermaker]

notion of "quality over quantity" is a large spectrum with a continuum of options.

"The best looking girls you can get" are at the far right of this spectrum, and honestly, 99% of them are out of your reach, 99% of the time. Because theoretically you *can* even get a "10" although the practical chances are slim.

There are usually many girls who are in the middle of this curve and I think the debate is around whether one would recognize the myth of the "standards" and change their expectations in life, to make one happier.

In your words, it's not about 4's or 5's.

It's about the masses of 6's and 7's as opposed to the elusive elite of 9's and 10's

which you look so joyfully obsessed about ...

so yeah, I think you are rationalizing your failure as the ultimate PUA *who can get anyone* and blaming your low output to your high standards.


This is one very common misconception of the budding AFC by the way...Putting 9's and 10's to a pedestal and scorning the masses of 6's and 7's.

 

[PDubb75]

notion of "quality over quantity" is a large spectrum with a continuum of options.

"The best looking girls you can get" are at the far right of this spectrum, and honestly, 99% of them are out of your reach, 99% of the time. Because theoretically you *can* even get a "10" although the practical chances are slim.

There are usually many girls who are in the middle of this curve and I think the debate is around whether one would recognize the myth of the "standards" and change their expectations in life, to make one happier.

In your words, it's not about 4's or 5's.

It's about the masses of 6's and 7's as opposed to the elusive elite of 9's and 10's

which you look so joyfully obsessed about ...

so yeah, I think you are rationalizing your failure as the ultimate PUA *who can get anyone* and blaming your low output to your high standards.


This is one very common misconception of the budding AFC by the way...Putting 9's and 10's to a pedestal and scorning the masses of 6's and 7's.

Ok, I think this is more misinterpretation of what I meant by that. I'm not saying I only got for 9s and 10s. Not at all. In fact, I rarely do. But I don't dip much below a 7 just for the sake of "bumping my number up". I know what is realistic in the sense of what I can get without a huge stroke of luck/chance. And that has been in the 7, reaching into 8 range. That is where I spend my time.

My whole point here is that I don't fvck girls that are "truly the ugliest women I've ever seen" and that I can't even get fully hard from. And I don't turn down girls showing a lot of interest just because they didn't fvck on the first date. That's all I'm saying. To me it's not just about adding 1 to my count just for the hell of it, when I could be spending my time going for girls I can bare to look at without going soft.

If that is so difficult for you to believe, I honestly could care less what you think.

 

[Zarky]

Hey that's why I always say "my lifestyle is not for everybody." For me it's not about the women but rather the adventure of walking into the bedroom of some chick I've never even seen before and boning her within 10 minutes of shaking her hand. That's the turn-on for me. That's what gets me out the door to meet her in the first place. The thought of yet another date talking about BS and a kiss at her car in the end makes me shudder. I did that stuff half a timetime ago in high school.

 

[Boilermaker]

Ok, I think this is more misinterpretation of what I meant by that. I'm not saying I only got for 9s and 10s. Not at all. In fact, I rarely do. But I don't dip much below a 7 just for the sake of "bumping my number up". I know what is realistic in the sense of what I can get without a huge stroke of luck/chance. And that has been in the 7, reaching into 8 range. That is where I spend my time.

My whole point here is that I don't fvck girls that are "truly the ugliest women I've ever seen" and that I can't even get fully hard from. And I don't turn down girls showing a lot of interest just because they didn't fvck on the first date. That's all I'm saying. To me it's not just about adding 1 to my count just for the hell of it, when I could be spending my time going for girls I can bare to look at without going soft.

If that is so difficult for you to believe, I honestly couldn't care less what you think.

ok fair enough we largely agree. I didn't understand you fully..You need to have elaborated more

 

[PlayerUntilDeath]

Always enjoy reading your blog and posts Zarky. It's cool to know there is men out there like us who are on the same page living this fun lifestyle. I've learned a lot from your posts. We have the same view on many topics and your posts have helped me stay focused. Thanks again for your posts. Let's keep going and continue to have fun.

 

[Boilermaker]

I admire Zarky a lot.

He incidentally, has a lot of haters, because of his Randian pragmatism with a zest for, simply put, fvcking women.

He has made that the art. He is the modern Don Juan who abuses the system and makes fun of it, rather than sitting and crying about his

failures, which by the way, he freely talks about.

Much to learn from this guy.

 

[Zarky]

Thanks that's very kind of you guys. Lots of men I talk to wonder why I go for numbers over hotness. It's because I think numbers lead to hotness; or as I say "quantity leads to quality." Despite the surprise ugly chick I banged last week, the hotness of the women I've been MLTRing has been gradually increasing over the years.

It's strange, because the more chicks I bang, the more "cold" I get toward them. I mean I'm fun to be around and we laugh and have a good time, but my heart is pretty damn cold ultimately. And the colder I get, the hotter the women who want to bang me are. I'm not sure quite why that is -- the guys banging the hottest chicks in the world must be some stone-cold motherf*ckers, that's all I can say. Perhaps one day I'll get there.

The reason I do OLD (online dating) is because there's no other forum I know of where you can get yourself in front of thousands of chicks each month. When you have that much plenty, it changes you.

 

[Solomon]

Hey guys, I am a male and I just got started with POF and OKC a few days ago. My question is, "I am looking for girls who are DTF, so is it better to screen for those girls who are DTF by only selecting Casual S*x on OKC and only selecting Intimate Encounter on POF, or do you get more girls who respond if you do not only select Casual S*x on OKC/and do not select Intimate Encounter on POF?" On OKC "Casual S*x" can be left in all of the selections or you can check it to have it as the ONLY selection and still be able to message anyone. However, on POF they have the stupid set up where girls can check to "not be contacted by those who have messaged others for an intimate encounter," so on POF if you are basically looking for girls who are DTF do you make your profile "Dating" (to be able to message more girls and go from there) or do you just make your profile "Intimate Encounter" (where there is only a FEW girls who have also made their profiles Intimate Encounter)? Then, do you say I am DTF and I am looking for a girl who is DTF in your profile, or do you say this in a message, or say it in person when you meet, or is it better to be more subtle such as do you say in your profile that you like to be with girls who are interested in being s*xual? I'm thinking now that there might be more responses by not making my profile "Intimate Encounter" because by making it "Dating" there is just more girls to send messages to and go from there. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks and good luck to you too.

On POF girls that are long for "long term" are DTF the thing is though you have to quliafy and screen. Girls rarely online will put up "NSA" or "Intimate encounter" and most girls that do are hookers or escorts looking to get paid. Trust me mate you'll know right away if a chick is DTF, don't let the "long term" crap scare it's girls way of screening thristy dudes

 

[Zarky]

No, don't go for drinks and "see how it goes" unless you want to waste lots of nights and money being rejected.

Screen thoroughly by moving into sexual talk quite quickly and having a sexual profile. If they seem coy or refuse to be sexy over email then don't waste your time going out with them.

 

[Colossus]

As I always tell people, when it comes to money and women, I'll take quantity over quality. If you're into quality then bypass the online scene.

I disagree with you there. Everyone uses online dating these days. How else do you meet people, especially if you dont live in a metro area?? I've done it both ways, and 'quality' (although utterly subjective) does exist online as I would define it. I see it more in the LTR sites like eharmony. By quality I mean low sexual partner count, good background, no glaring red flags, and at least 7 in looks. I actually met two LTRs off OKC, and both were fine women. Things didn't work out for personality reasons, but there's plenty of decent girls online.

I went through a phase a few years ago where I was cleaning up on OKC though. My profile wasnt very sexual, either. I played the normal guy with an edge, then let my looks and confident persistence do the rest. Like you said, the girls that I banged on date one werent 8's and 9's....probably a high 6 at best. But there were some 7's that dropped their panties pretty fast. And I dont consider myself some great DJ charmer, I just play my strengths. It's all you can do.

 

[GoalsActionsResults]

Thank you Zarky. That's good advice for me to be more active in screening earlier on instead of just going out on "drink dates and seeing what her response is THEN." Therefore, I will have some subtle s*xual comments in my profile and then gradually say more s*xual things over a few messages to then only go on a drink "date" with those girls who have already been screened to be s*xually interested. Instead of wasting time/money going out with girls who are not DTF, they can be weeded out earlier in the screening (either they will just stop sending messages, or they will not flirt through messages, or they will not agree to go out). I probably will not (at least for now to start out with) say DTF in my profile, but maybe with some girls I could say this in a message (but I'm thinking with most girls it may be better to be more subtle and not even say DTF in a message at least until meeting/f*cking). I'm thinking that the initial few messages could be (maybe not this exact wording but something for a quick example) like, "Hey that's a s*xy dress, if we go out are you going to wear something s*xy?" and then if she is really prude she probably would not say much about it in response or get upset or she would NOT respond back, but if she says something like "Sure, I will wear something really s*xy for you," then if she says comments like that and continues to send flirty messages and THEN after those screening messages agrees to meet she is probably DTF.

I'm not into the numbers thing for looks of women. I would say in many ways Game is a numbers game to find the girls who are interested. But, for numbers saying a 10 is hot and a 5 is not hot seems too specific with regards to looks because who specifically can say the difference between say a 7 and 8, so it seems mostly pointless. If someone wants to get married (I don't and won't) or a gf to show off with (I don't and won't), then someone probably wants to be with as "high a number of looks" as he can get. I'm learning to be more open to opportunities (instead of thinking I'm so awesome and thus will only go out with "10's"), such as going out with a "lower number who is still s*xy and shares my value of being DTF." But I say for me if a girl is say a 6 (not ugly but not a stunner either but I am still s*xually attracted to her in some way) but this 6 or 7 is fun/feminine/playful/and DTF, then that for me is better than a "10" who is rude/boring/terrible in bed/not fun/stuck-up.

OKC/POF seem like the best current "free Online Dating" sites to screen for those who are DTF. Good luck guys !