Online date - first outing - going dutch vs paying

[like2jam]

Ok, so in the past, when I've gone out on online dates, I've always paid. That yielded some results. I did F close a woman on the second date after paying for dinner. And I also F closed another woman after a couple of weeks.

Then there were the times that I paid and it yielded nothing and no second date.

This time around, I've been on a few dates and I've let them pay for half if they offer. For two of them, I knew there was nothing going past that night. The third situation though, I really liked her and I wanted to see her again. She liked me. I let her pay half, and now I'm wondering if that might have been a mistake. Maybe if I would have paid, she would have been more excited about the second date. Instead, she played hard to get and had me jumping through hoops as she played the unavailable game. Although she texted me last, I could tell she had gone cold, so I nexted her.

But the question at hand is, what is your experience with paying vs going dutch in these situations?

 

[Married Buried]

If you like them just pay. If not, make her pay. In my experience, I have gotten laid when I paid. If I made her pay, she went the other way.

 

[Married Buried]

Let me add though, when I went out with rich chics like Lawyers and accountants, I made them pay and they liked it. So if she is rich, make her pay.

 

[Lexington]

Paying or not paying hasn't made a difference in my experience. If the girl is turned on by you, she'll want to see you again. If she isn't, paying isn't going to change a thing.
That girl who was playing hard to get probably has other prospects or just simply wasn't that interested. I doubt that paying would have changed her behavior.

 

[The Duke]

It never mattered for me.

Like2jam, you said Maybe if I would have paid, she would have been more excited about the second date. Do you really want a girl that gets turned on when you buy her something???

I wouldn't worry about it. If she liked you and she is worth having she wouldn't let this get in the way. I think she just wasn't into you as much as you think. Women who are highly into you won't play hard to get or insist that you jump thru their hoops either. Women are also great actors and will tell you just about anything.

I say, just keep going on more dates and get more experience. Eventually you will be able to predict their behavior before it even happens. ;-)

 

[Married Buried]

Doesn't it depend on who asked who out? If you asked her out, ofcourse you have to pay. It's common courtesy. If she asked you then she has to pay.

You don't have to make it something expensive. Just invite her to coffee or something.

 

[tryst type]

I always just joke about it "so you're going to buy my movie ticket right? " or coffee or whatever you're doing.

They'll laugh and either A. Go along with it B. Say no I'm buying my own!

In which you get away with not having to pay.

If you're dealing with a smart ass she'll retort with "no you're buying mine" that's when you can have fun with it, "and then you'll let our knees touch during the movie? Aww but that's a form of prostitution you know..."

 

[disgustipated]

I kinda use it as an IL gauge. Can you grab this one? The ones that are reaaaaaly into me are very eager to dig out that pocketbook. Kinda funny because its such a huge tell. The ones that give me crap about it are usually pitas anyway. And low interest. I haven't ran into one ol fashioned chick....so a non issue for me.