Online Chat went wrong

[harkkam08]

I dont know maybe I was being desperate or what not or I moved too fast. I met this girl using plenty of fish.

We chatted for a bit online, just the usual back and forth questions. I made a few wise cracks to which she laughed at.

This was my second time talking to her online. We talked for about 10 minutes and she would respond back to me every two minutes or so.

I asked her if she had ever tried indian food and she said "No I want to though"

So I said "Im gonna be in the city this saturday, why dont we go and try some out"

She said "Oh im busy saturday.....(cant remb )"

So i said "thats cool"

I then said "When are you free this weekend"

she replied "I am actually busy all weekend its sucks I have a friend who is going away for a month and we wanted to do something for him, me and my friends"

In my mind i was like "yeah...yeah I dont give sH*t about your friend and excuses"

I said "How about you give me your number and Ill hit you up and we can get something going when it works for both of us"

I gave her another chance and she said "I dont feel comfortable giving out my number"

I said "yeah i understand its online and weird"

She said "Im glad you understand"

So I just switched it up and we talked about other things like music and nationality where I made a few wise cracks.

I said "Do you have a creative bone in your body, do you paint, sing etc"

She said "No im more of 1+1=2 kind of person"

I said "Lol I dont even know what to say to that I guess all koreans are good at math like they say"

I then asked her if she had ever been there and she said "Lol. I was born there"

Then I we talked for a few more min but then I asked her a question and no response for ten minutes. So I said

"Lol I guess you fell asleep at the keyboard anyway Im out ttyl"

---


I know I messed up by moving on her too soon. DO you think this one is NEXT?

Plus its online so negging is harder bcuz they cant see your smile and your jokiness.

I was thinking to just leave it alone for a while a few days maybe and come back to it. To start slower and just build more rapport with her. Then ask her one more time and if it doesnt work then NEXT

 

[Chromeo]

she doesnt know you, its online.

get to know her more then see if she wants to grab a coffee. but give it a minute, your making a big deal outa nothing.

 

[runner83]

I read somewhere once and I tend to follow it, never go out with a girl on a weekend unless she's your girlfriend.

Even if it's not true, you should always act like your weekend is jam packed with interesting stuff, and you only have time during the week to meet up.

When she said "I don't feel comfortable giving out my number", you should have come back with some joke like

"Oh, you don't have a phone, well that is is embarrassing"

rather than talking about the weird comment. Just mentioning that word ("weird") probably made the whole chat seem that way to her.

My take anyway.

 

[r0cky]

Your problem: you didnt create attraction.
Questions dont create attraction, vibing and teasing does. The fact that she wasnt comfortable giving you her # tells me your convo was boring and dragging. LEARN TO INTERESTING!

 

[2crudedudes]

She said "Oh im busy saturday.....(cant remb )"

So i said "thats cool"

I then said "When are you free this weekend"

she replied "I am actually busy all weekend its sucks I have a friend who is going away for a month and we wanted to do something for him, me and my friends"

...I said "How about you give me your number and Ill hit you up and we can get something going when it works for both of us"

I gave her another chance and she said "I dont feel comfortable giving out my number"

Sounds like there wasn't enough rapport

I said "Lol I dont even know what to say to that I guess all koreans are good at math like they say"

I'd steer clear of stereotypes. Some people take offense to even simple comments like yours.

 

[Slick101]

I dont know maybe I was being desperate or what not or I moved too fast. I met this girl using plenty of fish.

We chatted for a bit online, just the usual back and forth questions. I made a few wise cracks to which she laughed at.

This was my second time talking to her online. We talked for about 10 minutes and she would respond back to me every two minutes or so.

I asked her if she had ever tried indian food and she said "No I want to though"

So I said "Im gonna be in the city this saturday, why dont we go and try some out"

She said "Oh im busy saturday.....(cant remb )"

So i said "thats cool"

I then said "When are you free this weekend"
No, Never ask when she's free,, this makes YOU always free... When you gotta be ALWAYS BUSY!
she replied "I am actually busy all weekend its sucks I have a friend who is going away for a month and we wanted to do something for him, me and my friends"


In my mind i was like "yeah...yeah I dont give sH*t about your friend and excuses"

I said "How about you give me your number and Ill hit you up and we can get something going when it works for both of us"

I gave her another chance and she said "I dont feel comfortable giving out my number"

I said "yeah i understand its online and weird"

She said "Im glad you understand"

So I just switched it up and we talked about other things like music and nationality where I made a few wise cracks.

I said "Do you have a creative bone in your body, do you paint, sing etc"

She said "No im more of 1+1=2 kind of person"

I said "Lol I dont even know what to say to that I guess all koreans are good at math like they say"

I then asked her if she had ever been there and she said "Lol. I was born there"

Then I we talked for a few more min but then I asked her a question and no response for ten minutes. So I said

"Lol I guess you fell asleep at the keyboard anyway Im out ttyl"

---


I know I messed up by moving on her too soon. DO you think this one is NEXT?

Plus its online so negging is harder bcuz they cant see your smile and your jokiness.

I was thinking to just leave it alone for a while a few days maybe and come back to it. To start slower and just build more rapport with her. Then ask her one more time and if it doesnt work then NEXT

Honestly, there was no game here and you came off as boring... I got perfect game for that freakin site ill tell u more about it lata HAHAHA

 

[COD]

YOU DID FINE.,....almost got it

AH ONLINE IS iNDEED a lot different than in field........virtual negs take on a more literal perception because of that non face to face confrontation. Best to keep em light hearted and use sparingly.

THE TOKEN NO AND VIRTUAL RESISTANCE.........when any chic says no, just simply agree............for now. NO does not alwasy NO in every aspect......sometimes it means.........NO..........not yet.

Subtle persistance is the key to melt away their resistance, so when U get that token no.......its expected.......its like chics are so used to guys asking for their digits they are waiting for it. When U ask it triggers an automatic response........some try to sugar coat it with the classic......"I dont feel comfortable, internet, barely know you yada yada yada BS.

And thats what it is BS........so your job it to inject subtle persistance.......I like to use a bit of humor:

YOU:hey can we have an old fashioned phone call like they did back in the day or are you confident enough to take this non virtual yet?

HER: ummmm I dont just hand out my number...........

You: I hear ya sister, but I promise I am so not like all those other chumps........I wont call U 50X or ask you to describe what you are wearing real slow in a sexy voice, I promise no late night booty calls, etc , etc.

Her: hmmmm not sure about you yet............

YOU: its just a lil fone call........I pwomiss not to make fun of your raspy voice, here I thought you were sincere........like what do u imagine happening......ring ring........hello.........AH HAAAAAAAAAAA NOW I GOT YOU.........lady its a fricken phone call........its eye strain and sore fingers saver


theres plenty more to disarm the token no.........I used the old OH CAN'T PAY YOUR PHONE BILL HUH............rarely works.........but it is the right mental frame......humor, etc.

Then when u get her digits call her up and say........see was that hard.........like pulling teeth on my end .

U got the right idea.........just inject the subtle persistance to lower resistance.

 

[the305]

Original Poster:
The number 1 thing you want to focus on in online game is comfort then you can ask for a number.... So lets brainstorm here on whats going through a girls mind for online dating.. "is he a weird/creepy?" "does he just want sex, and thats it?" those are the two main concerns.

you need to tackle BOTH of those questions before she forms her own conclusion, this is exactly what game is.

From the start you want to be fun and vibe. all your questions need to have some SPUNK - example: whoa whoa. wait.. before we even continue, do you like family guy, do note that, if you don't - im deducting 8 cool points INSTANTLY.

What you then want to do is KILL any notion of her thinking you are creepy with something like this: "hey, you know what you're actually cool.. like.. i wasn't expecting it from all the weirdos i talked to on this site. woohooo my new POF buddy =D"

90% of the time she will respond with "OMG i know, so many weirdos on the site" - you've just made a "connection" now she is slightly more curious about you then she was 2 minutes ago.

You are officially NOT a weirdo anymore, and will not get the "well i dont know you, i dont give me number out" response.

Congrats.

 

[harkkam08]

So I guess its build more rapport and take my time and build attraction with her. To break down the barriers and her resistance and when I feel like the time is right then make a move.

 

[Rescue Mission]

she doesn't find you good looking enough in your pics.

It's the truth.

Online, it's ALL ABOUT LOOKS, END OF STORY!

If this girl thought you were oozing hotness, she would be happy to give you her number.

In my past ventures on myspace, it was always the girls that found me hot or handsome that easily gave their # up......and at the same time, girls who thought I was okay or just decent didn't really want me calling them and thus didn't give me their #

It's 100% logic.

 

[harkkam08]

really looks. Damn I guess girls dont like what I look like.

Here is my profile on okcupid

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/harkkam/pictures#

Am i okay looking?

 

[the305]

harkkam08: correct on the rapport building. how you look is completely irrelevant at this stage BECAUSE she responded, you two has a conversation or two ON a dating site. you are PAST the looks stage, she already accepted the way you look

so now... this girl doesn't know you from the pedophile down the street,comfort/fun/vibing/little flirting here and there never hurts as well. Add a little spunk/charisma to your interactions as well and you will go very far. Then take it to the phone.

Rescue Mission: so according to your "logic", there is NO SUCH THING as game, it doesn't matter what you say, just message them all with "hey look at my pic, now.. give me your number" .....

 

[Vanilla]

really looks. Damn I guess girls dont like what I look like.

Here is my profile on okcupid

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/harkkam/pictures#

Am i okay looking?

You can do better than the myspace mirror photos, only women are allowed to do that. Do you have any pics where you're having fun?

 

[harkkam08]

I do, i just havent put them on yet.

I have contacted many women, with like witty emails. Probably like 35 women on POF and only like three responded.

I dont open with a simple hello hi, but i write something short usually relating to an intrest or thing in their profile.

I dont get why i get such few replies.

 

[Rescue Mission]

I hope you aren't going for white chicks, cuz very few white chicks like indian guys.

And the305, no, I am not saying that no game is needed.........what I am saying, is that ONLINE, the girl needs to, ABSOLUTELY NEEDS TO be physically attracted to you before you even talk, and then you use game to seduce her.........isn't that obvious?

 

[The Mad Ghost]

While I don't see anything terribly WRONG with this approach. This would've been just about fine out in the real world.

But rocky is right. I hate to be a bigot. But you didn't create enough attraction as sucky as it sounds. Try playfully teasing and just light minded fluff talk and leave the comfort questions like (music tastes, culture, what she wants to be, what she can do etc) to the phone stage or face-to-face.

You didn't do anything wrong, you just didn't attract her this time round hence why she got bored of the convo. But you kept you're cool and didn't lose composure as internet dating can get frustrating sometimes.

 

[Megaman XIV]

I'm with Rescue Mission here.

Also those who say there wasn't enough attraction and rapport are also correct. Tactics used in real life are much different online.

Try photoshopping some muscles on you, OP.

 

[harkkam08]

Here is another rapport building chat I tired with her. I dont get it. She just didnt respond to my last mssg.

me(11:01:49 PM)hey there
her(11:02:00 PM)hey
me(11:02:39 PM)how was your weekend?
her(11:03:07 PM)it was good, yours?
me(11:03:28 PM)lots of BBQ and fireworks....
her(11:03:47 PM)yeahhhhh
her(11:03:49 PM)mine too
me(11:04:15 PM)did you see the macy's firework display?
her(11:04:41 PM)no i didnt
her(11:04:42 PM)did you?
me(11:05:34 PM)nope....my neighbors are all pyro maniacs almost everybody was doing fireworks in my neighborhod
me(11:06:07 PM)some idiot at 2:00 oclock in the morning let off like three massive ones woke everyone up
her(11:06:15 PM)lol niceee
her(11:06:25 PM)you always have those for some reason
me(11:07:05 PM)i know....but we laughed about it later.....the best part is all the left overs
her(11:07:20 PM)lol yea
me(11:07:44 PM)do you know how to grill?
her(11:08:00 PM)ummmmmmm
her(11:08:02 PM)sure?
her(11:08:04 PM)lol
me(11:08:22 PM)lol...not sure....
me(11:08:37 PM)its not hard....and its alot of fun

she didnt respond after that

 

[playerone]

There's no rapport whatsoever. She didn't want to respond. Run.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Doesn't look like she's interested; probably just responding to you just to be courteous, NEXT!