Oneitus Incoming!

[Alkali]

So I'm not blind.

When you talk to a girl for ten hours on the phone and still feel like doing something, there's a problem.

I know, right? Ten fekcun hours? How the hell does that happen? :crazy:

I have no clue. We click. More importantly, how do I nip this in the bud?

I like her, am somewhat committed (we've dated), but won't like being bummed when it ends.

I love her, hah! Not really, but it won't be much longer. So fekcun respond!

She's too good (beautiful, smart, funny), and I'm going to feel like siht when the inevitable happens.

So how do I reduce this infatuation without technically ending it?

I mean I'd like to stay with her, but I don't want to be too attached.

 

[Supremo]

Dude... this chick sounds like a keeper.
You said she was beautiful and you guys click.

**** all the "don't ever be committed" ****.
All of the material this site is advocating, really is all just practice for when you actually meet someone you like.

Even the greatest of PUA's find that special girl who they want to settle down with.

Don't be afraid of commitment, be afraid of getting ***** whipped.
Based on what you said about her, and about how you interact with eachother, there is NOTHING wrong with having a relationship with this girl.

 

[SinJester]

Just remember to keep your options open. That's the best tip I can give for avoiding oneitus. Hell it worked wonders for me. You will also have some other girls to fall back on if anything goes wrong. But you should go for her.

And...

She's too good (beautiful, smart, funny), and I'm going to feel like siht when the inevitable happens.

Knock her off that go damn pedestal man. It's thought like that, that are the reason you have onitus in the first place. Remember she still sleeps, ****s, farts and lies like the rest of us.

 

[Alkali]

She's only on a pedestal because she's better than any girl I've ever met lol.

I'm keeping my options open, I'm still flirting with other girls.

But I don't really care about them.

Do I need to just find someone equally awesome?

 

[Supremo]

That's defeating the whole purpose.
Finding a new person equally as awesome as this girl?
What's the point?
Dude... go for this girl!
You will REGRET it if you don't.
Obviously you guys have something.

Seriously dude. It's fine to flirt with other girls and stuff, but really if you guys have the rapport to talk for 10 hours on the phone, and you both like eachother more than friends... then what are you waiting for?

 

[Poonani Maker]

She's only on a pedestal because she's better than any girl I've ever met lol.

I'm keeping my options open, I'm still flirting with other girls.

But I don't really care about them.

Do I need to just find someone equally awesome?

I'm in the same position as You are. I've also found 2-3 carbon copies of the one I'm possessed with. One, an Applebee's waitress, and the other, an airline stewardess. It's amazing how many replicas of your love you can find out there if you're on the lookout and know exactly what you love. I take women very lightly because they change so much, there's nothing fixed with them. Trying to pin them down is hopeless.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Oneitis = Abort!
Unless you think you can get her.

 

[SinJester]

Oneitus isnt bad if you do/can get her... You can't date more than one chick in highschool so whats the point?

I'm just saying if you keep more than one girl up on your mental board you get all kinds of advantages.

Alkali your posts reek of oneitus (although see above). This "shes only on a pedestal because she is more awesome than any girl I've ever met" crap is keeping her on that goddam pedestal! I almost that guarentee that in a few months you will think "what was I thinking with her". I've seen it happen a gazillion times with a huge amount of guys (and girls for that matter).

 

[the_great_gaia]

Can I Share My Story?

I met this one chic, Te Te (short for Tessa)

When we first hooked up, it seemed too good to be true. I mean, she was drop dead gorgeous, and she was really digging me. Like, I swear, the way she was and the way I was, I couldn't see no end.

She promised me that she'd always be by my side, she told me she would hold me down, she told me that she had MADD feelings for me and that she feels like she's in love with me. I fell hard for this chic, even tho above the surface I played it cool, but she was telling me all the things I ever wanted to hear, because I never had a female tell me these things before.

It went from me playing it cool, to me getting a lil' more involved with her. She wanted to see me EVERYDAY. ANd I went to see her. We'd go everywhere. I took her to nice restaurants, got her nice things, told her my inner-most deep thoughts. I didn't think i could do no wrong. We even got high together.

Then one night, she wanted to go home early and chill, so I took her home. I left and hit a U-Turn, and she was about to ride off with some other dude (who was so lame). She later broke up with me, and **** ain't been the same since.

Tip: Y'all time together is y'all time together, and y'all time apart is y'all time apart, so love this girl with your mind and not your heart. If you don't get your feelings involved you won't get your feelings hurt.

 

[just another newb??]

i just cannot agree with great gaia.
It is true that there is no good with no bad. There is no love without loss.

Live for YOURSELF, the only reason you are afraid to open up to her is that you are afraid to loose her. Yes you will have to take that change sooner or later anyway, but meanwhile you can enjoy the feeling of being in love.

Guys.. what is the point of all these tips and tricks anyway... to find a woman you love, comon man you have made it.

But i see you are afraid of success and you are basicly backstabbing yourself right now.

I say let that heart fall... you might get hurt but you will never know unless you try. And even if you get hurt.. hurt so bad that you want to cry all day.. you must no grow cold.. you must know that it was just a lesson that you were destened(sp?) to learn.

Remember its not the goal that matters, its the journey towards it. Let go of all that thinking and just enjoy what you have, till you have it

If you are still not shure what to do.. before you decide read
Pook- securities vs mistakes

 

[GaryUranga]

I think you both have a point, go for it dude, but still try as hard as you can to keep yourself doing the right things, dont ever let the AFC take over, Im not goign to lie, youll probably get heartbroken, I already had this happen to me, the girl was pretty much how you described this one, we connected and I was addicted to it but I just slowly started acting AFC and you know how that ends, however, its one of the best lessons Ive learned so yeah.. go for it

 

[Alkali]

I screwed up today. Big time. AFC king!

Yeah, well, I salvaged it. But I feel...dirty.

No, not in a good way either.

 

[the_great_gaia]

i'm telling you, you don't know what ur up against. It's a female. They will trick you into revealing ur feelings, it's like sand in a box; they'll pick u up and drop you. You must never let her penetrate your pride. Listen to you must listen to ur gut feelings, you have to... or you will be laying on your back in bed staring up at the ceiling wondering where you went wrong. Always let it be your gut feelings that guide you, don't follow your heart or you'll be dying to get a pace-maker.

 

[SinJester]

Alkali, how did you screw up man?

 

[Alkali]

Let me first say that indecision is deadly. It is much, much better to just roll with a punches and go in without a plan rather than waiting for one to come to you and getting in the game too late.

Basically, a few friends noticed my unbecoming shy-guy attitude (I'm shy around this girl, that's not all that normal for me) and decided to show me what I should be doing "practically." It made her uncomfortable, made me uncomfortable, and screwed up the mood. I should have told them to fukc off, but I kind of just stayed out of the game.

Needless to say, that was a mistake.

It's not a big deal anymore, I'm feeling good today. She caught a cute girl grinding between my legs and I felt as though that evened the playing field. I wasn't planning to do anything though, she was just there, and I was just fine with it. Not too sure whats going on with her, haven't really talked to her about it lol.

I'm just glad she knows that I don't need her. Even when I kind of do lol. Oh yeah, that was the AFCness coming! Oneitus is killing me!

 

[Bvbidd]

Oneitis should feul you to not act like a loser. It works for me.

If you want that girl, then you better DO something mindset.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

The strange way this thing works is... if you want a girl, you don't get her, because you end up trying to impress her and she doesn't see the true you, she just sees a guy who's trying to get her, a nice friend sometimes.

You have to believe you don't want or need her, maybe throw in some hints of attraction to get her interested... basically play around, but don't be too serious. Hey, love is but a game... and we're the playas.

 

[Bvbidd]

You can want a girl and use that knowledge to your advantage.

You can just pretend she means sh!t to you, and tease her etc.

She'll have trouble figuring out if you really do like her or not.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Oneitis should feul you to not act like a loser. It works for me.

If you want that girl, then you better DO something mindset.

You're obviously experienced and are making some good points. Today, I crossed paths with my oneitis, and as she went past me, my gaze before and during was so away from her that I'm not even sure if it was her. I really wasn't looking as I was busy going and doing what I've gotta do. She may have looked at me or may not have. The point is, I did not look at her, because I knew that at this point and at this time, my gut instincts told me Not to look. It just wasn't the right moment. I would have looked like a desperate faggot loser if I'd looked before she was looking at me. Now if I had caught her looking at me as if by accident then that would have been different, but I chose to not even gaze in her direction, go about doing my business. Also, I know that I'll have plenty of opportunities to meet her again, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, but no later than that; therefore, all of this cat n' mouse is on MY terms. I see her when I please. People who get angry are stupid.