Oneitis!

[FortunateSon]

I figured that this is my biggest weakness and until I find a way of managing it, supressing it and conquering than I will continue to be an AFC.

I have a few questions that I want to know the answers to:

1) How do you stop getting oneitis?
2) How do you supress it so it doesn't become a problem for you?
3) Is there way you can condition it out of your thought process/feeling process?

I ask this because I have suffered from oneitis in the past and I suffered from it not so long ago!

Today was the day that I finally manned up and did something about it!

Here's the story:

I met this girl, we'll call her C. I met C in the summer of 09, so not long ago!

When I first met her, I wasn't interested in the slightest, I didn't find her that attractive, she was a bit chubby! She also had a bf, so that put me off!

But as we got to know each other more I began to really like her personality and I really began to like her confidence, but I was never really attracted to her, so I just stuck her in the friend category and thought nothing else of it! Of course she did the same.

Fast forward to this summer! She improves drastically, she gets leaner, her breasts look firmer, rounder and I want them, her arse looks firm, hard and round and I want that, too!

She splits up with her boyfriend who was boning his ex behind her back, I thought to myself, if I can get a few screws out of this chick then I will do so at the expense of our friendship! T.b.h by now I was regretting ever befriending her! My first major mistake of many! So, I take her out one night to take her out, she begged me to take her out! Funny, that she never asked me to when she was with her bf! So, we go out, I try my stuff, light kino and further escalation with light flirting! She's having none of it really, keeps shutting me down! Of course me liking a challenge isn't deterred by this shield! I was determined to smash it down and get my rewards.

So fast forward four days, she gets back together with the ex! I can't say I was surprised, she thanked me for a good night the other night, I immediately think to myself "Fortunate Son, you are still an AFC and you've just been used, well done you absolute clown of a man, you're a disgrace to men everywhere". I got very angry and I say, "All the best, C, I hope it works out". So, me thinking that the relationship is doomed anyway continues to press, I mean if it gets me laid then that's all that matters. However, it hasn't and she decided to lay it on thick with the friendship stuff she has never done this before.

I bite and keep my tongue bitten for a few weeks until today, where I just said "enough is enough!" She hadn't text me in a few days, so I text her just making casual talk! I text her with "hey, how is things mate?", I use mate a lot! I call strangers mate! She texts back and starts telling me about how her day is, so I decide to have one last throw of the dice. I ask her how things are with her boyfriend, she replies okay, he is still the same and then proceeds to start whinging! She then says, but at least I have friends like you! I reply back with "I'm not your friend". She gets angry about this and says "if you aren't my friend why did you text me?" I reply with "I text you to see if you had decided whether or not you want a man" and she says "what?" and I said "Listen, I don't see you as a friend, I used too, but things have changed." She says "Why have they changed?" and I reply with "They've changed because I no longer see you as a friend, I see you as something more than a friend". Well to cut the story short, she spins me lines about if she was single things were different and she really wanted to be friends.

So, I admit defeat, but I decide to completely sabotage and destroy this 'friendship', I tear a new one into her bf and then into her, I think I might have made her cry and she calls me a horrible person and I have the last word, I text her with "Goodbye...mate".

My problems happen when I start to develop feelings for women! Suddenly the book of pook goes out of the window and I become a total AFC, a total idiot and it is because I always feel better with venting, ranting and airing my feelings to people that gets me into this mess.

I need a solution, a cure for oneitis if there are any! I need your help guys because this cannot go on! I need to learn from my mistakes, so if anyone wants to point those out for me and offer solutions, I'm all eyes!

 

[Tiguere]

http://www.thefriendzone.co/

 

[FortunateSon]

Well I'm not in the friendzone with her anymore, I've cut her off completely!

I want to know how to control oneitis, how to supress it so you can just walk away from a girl without looking back!

I know about the friendzone, I just want to know how to get rid/become immune to oneitis, I don't want to be in this position again.

This situation could have been avoided if I had my sh*t together with oneitis in the first place!

 

[Igetit!]

I figured that this is my biggest weakness and until I find a way of managing it, supressing it and conquering than I will continue to be an AFC.

I have a few questions that I want to know the answers to:

1) How do you stop getting oneitis?
2) How do you supress it so it doesn't become a problem for you?
3) Is there way you can condition it out of your thought process/feeling process?

The answer to all three of these question is one and the same....

to look WITHIN.


The "Cure" for oneitis is basically for you to understand that you're ALREADY whole,that you're ALREADY COMPLETE.



All oneitis is is someone trying to fill an INNER void with an EXTERNAL object,which in this case happens to be another person.


It's not the girls man,it's YOU. You said....

I have suffered from oneitis in the past and I suffered from it not so long ago!

So you've had oneitis a few times in the past,and just recently had another bout with oneitis a little while ago. And I assume that these oneitis "episodes" you've had were all with different girls,not the same one over and over again,right?


It's YOU. The reason you get oneitis from girl to girl is because YOU TAKE IT WITH YOU from girl to girl.



You keep trying to get something from girls that you should ALREADY have within yourself. I don't know,maybe you think you'll be "all that" if you get attention from a hot girl,or you'll finally be a "man" if some chick lets you sleep with her,or whatever,but it's all an illusion. You're chasing a mirage.


You need to look at women as an addition to you life,not as some missing piece. You were BORN whole. You were BORN complete.


Get off this scavenger hunt of thinking that you'll finally be something else or something more than what you currently are if you can just get sex/attention/compliments/a "10" or whatever else from females.


You act like you're Indiana Jones in search of some long lost artifact,which in this case happens to be MANHOOD.

Today was the day that I finally manned up and did something about it!

Here's the story:

I met this girl, we'll call her C. I met C in the summer of 09, so not long ago!

When I first met her, I wasn't interested in the slightest, I didn't find her that attractive, she was a bit chubby! She also had a bf, so that put me off!

But as we got to know each other more I began to really like her personality and I really began to like her confidence, but I was never really attracted to her, so I just stuck her in the friend category and thought nothing else of it! Of course she did the same.

Fast forward to this summer! She improves drastically, she gets leaner, her breasts look firmer, rounder and I want them, her arse looks firm, hard and round and I want that, too!

She splits up with her boyfriend who was boning his ex behind her back, I thought to myself, if I can get a few screws out of this chick then I will do so at the expense of our friendship! T.b.h by now I was regretting ever befriending her! My first major mistake of many! So, I take her out one night to take her out, she begged me to take her out! Funny, that she never asked me to when she was with her bf! So, we go out, I try my stuff, light kino and further escalation with light flirting! She's having none of it really, keeps shutting me down! Of course me liking a challenge isn't deterred by this shield! I was determined to smash it down and get my rewards.

So fast forward four days, she gets back together with the ex! I can't say I was surprised, she thanked me for a good night the other night, I immediately think to myself "Fortunate Son, you are still an AFC and you've just been used, well done you absolute clown of a man, you're a disgrace to men everywhere". I got very angry and I say, "All the best, C, I hope it works out". So, me thinking that the relationship is doomed anyway continues to press, I mean if it gets me laid then that's all that matters. However, it hasn't and she decided to lay it on thick with the friendship stuff she has never done this before.

I bite and keep my tongue bitten for a few weeks until today, where I just said "enough is enough!" She hadn't text me in a few days, so I text her just making casual talk! I text her with "hey, how is things mate?", I use mate a lot! I call strangers mate! She texts back and starts telling me about how her day is, so I decide to have one last throw of the dice. I ask her how things are with her boyfriend, she replies okay, he is still the same and then proceeds to start whinging! She then says, but at least I have friends like you! I reply back with "I'm not your friend". She gets angry about this and says "if you aren't my friend why did you text me?" I reply with "I text you to see if you had decided whether or not you want a man" and she says "what?" and I said "Listen, I don't see you as a friend, I used too, but things have changed." She says "Why have they changed?" and I reply with "They've changed because I no longer see you as a friend, I see you as something more than a friend". Well to cut the story short, she spins me lines about if she was single things were different and she really wanted to be friends.

So, I admit defeat, but I decide to completely sabotage and destroy this 'friendship', I tear a new one into her bf and then into her, I think I might have made her cry and she calls me a horrible person and I have the last word, I text her with "Goodbye...mate".

You just made a complete FOOL out of yourself with this girl.

You did SO MANY things wrong,made SO MANY errors,SO MANY blunders,made SO MANY mistakes...personally,I think you should just leave her alone. I actually agree with her,you were being HORRIBLE.


You did so many things wrong here,it's not even worth mentioning them all.

My problems happen when I start to develop feelings for women! Suddenly the book of pook goes out of the window and I become a total AFC, a total idiot

The book of Pook is about you becoming a MAN/a better MAN. It's not about a bunch of tips,tricks and tactics to get girls into bed.



It's about improving yourself to where girls will see the improvements and be attracted to you as a positive side effect,not about being an AFC who tricks girls into bed.


You just don't get it.

I need a solution, a cure for oneitis if there are any!

The solution is YOU. The answer is YOU.


It's like looking all over the house for your keys,you spend hours and hours looking for them,only to find that they were in your pocket the whole time.



It's one thing to go after girls for sex and just sex only,but if it's to get sex so you'll FEEL LIKE A MAN......or FEEL LIKE YOU'RE "SOMEBODY".....that's where oneitis will come in because oneitis isn't about sex,it's about trying to fill some inner void.

 

[FortunateSon]

you're ALREADY whole,that you're ALREADY COMPLETE.

I won't be complete until I'm doing the job that I dream of doing!

I understand it is me, where have I blamed anyone else but myself? It seems like you assume a little too much!

So you've had oneitis a few times in the past,and just recently had another bout with oneitis a little while ago. And I assume that these oneitis "episodes" you've had were all with different girls,not the same one over and over again,right?

It's different girls each time, but before this bout, I went about three years without having any form of oneitis, this just sprang on me by surprise. I wasn't expecting it and as a result I didn't know how to control it and instead it spiralled out of control.

You keep trying to get something from girls that you should ALREADY have within yourself. I don't know,maybe you think you'll be "all that" if you get attention from a hot girl,or you'll finally be a "man" if some chick lets you sleep with her,or whatever,but it's all an illusion. You're chasing a mirage

You're wrong, I saw her as an addition to my life! Apart from jobwise I am very content with my life and things are only going to look up for me once I get the job I want so much!

I have no need to seek validation from women! Again, you assume just a little too much!

Get off this scavenger hunt of thinking that you'll finally be something else or something more than what you currently are if you can just get sex/attention/compliments/a "10" or whatever else from females.

Again you assume too much, you are completely wrong here! She is no more than a 7-8, depending on the day and I genuinely liked her! I didn't realise it was AFC to like a girl? If that is the case then I know where I'm going wrong then!

You just made a complete FOOL out of yourself with this girl.

Yeah, I know and I don't particularly care either!

As for leaving her alone, I intend to do just that and when I get my dream job I'll never see her again, so it suits me down to the ground! I was horrible to her yes, but it felt good afterwards, it felt like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am free man now, I recognise I made a lot of errors, poor judgements etc, but I am still learning! I have learnt from this episode and I will ensure it does not happen again!

The book of Pook is about you becoming a MAN/a better MAN

Yes, it is and since reading it I have become a much better man! This is my first **** up since reading the book of pook a few months ago!

The solution is YOU. The answer is YOU.

I know! All in all you speak sense and I am willing to learn from you, but you do jump to far too many assumptions about me! I made a series of errors, I acknowledge that, I have stepped back, assessed the situation, dump my head into my hands, laughed about it and realised what I did was highly AFC and very stupid and I won't be repeating these errors again!

This is the first time that Oneitis has done this to me, but once I am in sound footing work wise is probably when I can start gaming chicks etc!

Cheers for the reply!