oneitis with a friend

[Ice_Berg_1]

A few months ago I met this girl through mutual friends, she gave me her # but I never ended up calling her. About a month and a half ago she somehow got my number and started calling me. I now talk to her almost every day and whenever she has time off work she invites me out for dinner and movies or to the gym etc.
We've gotten pretty close but in a friendly way. I'm just getting through a recent breakup and she is in the process of trying to get over a guy who she really fell hard for but didn't want to get serious with her. This girl has really started to grow on me and I could see myself getting invloved with her. I've let her know how I feel about her but she says it's a mistake for me to catch feelings for her because of the fact that she is not over this other guy and it wouldn't be fair to me. She considers me a friend but she is the type of girl who doesn't enjoy dating random guys she almost always ends up dating someone she is friends with. I'm a little confused as to why she even started calling me in the first place and what she wants from me. I still go out and meet girls I've gone on a couple of dates with other girls but I can't seem to get this one off of my mind. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Wyldfire]

She sounds mature and like she is a very caring person. The fact that she recognizes that she isn't over her ex and doesn't want to be unfair to you is a good sign. My guess is that she is interested in you but just isn't ready to jump into anything yet. Still date others as you are, but you should continue to nurture this friendship. Give it some time and see if things change in a couple of months. If you don't see any improvements in her being ready then put a little distance between you without burning any bridges.

 

[Tboner]

I now talk to her almost every day and whenever she has time off work she invites me out for dinner and movies or to the gym etc.

Normal things friends do together.


We've gotten pretty close but in a friendly way.

Great, if that's all you want from her.

I could see myself getting invloved with her.

You want sex from her now.

I've let her know how I feel about her

OK, you've played all your cards now.

she is in the process of trying to get over a guy who she really fell hard for but didn't want to get serious with her.

she says it's a mistake for me to catch feelings for her because of the fact that she is not over this other guy and it wouldn't be fair to me.

Yes, this guy's probably too busy, doesn't return her calls, bangs other women, doesn't care if she's in his life or not, does nothing for her (except getting her wet). This other guy is proving sexual excitement and drama in her life. You are the guy who provides other things she needs, like emotional support.

She considers me a friend

I'm a little confused as to why she even started calling me in the first place and what she wants from me.

She wants an emotional tampon. Women want a good, sensitive listener to talk about their emotions.

I still go out and meet girls I've gone on a couple of dates with other girls but I can't seem to get this one off of my mind.

Keep going out with many other women. Find out if she really wants to be a true friend by having her help you get women.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Your approach with this girl was weak from the get go. When she gave you her number you should have hooked up with her immediately. You waited too long and now she's been played by another guy and she's now officially "damaged goods." This situation sounds like a lost cause to me.

Next her, the friends routine isn't working so now it's time to up the jerk quotient.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Boy Wyld, now you are really sounding like a mother, just like TCU's mother. This has to be some of the worst advice I've read, unless this is a joke/sarcastic post by you.

Originally posted by Wyldfire
She sounds mature and like she is a very caring person. The fact that she recognizes that she isn't over her ex and doesn't want to be unfair to you is a good sign.

She might sound mature, but this is not about what's best for her, its about him. How about she want's her cake and eat it too. Don't let her use you for the emotional support and him for you know how. This is a very good sign that he will never get out of the friend's zone.

My guess is that she is interested in you but just isn't ready to jump into anything yet. Still date others as you are, but you should continue to nurture this friendship.

You gotta be kiddin', your response keeps getting worse and worse. That almost sounds as "just keeep being nice to her. Buy her flowers, and when she's ready, she will run to you, her c0cksmith in shinnin' armour."

Give it some time and see if things change in a couple of months. If you don't see any improvements in her being ready then put a little distance between you without burning any bridges.

Hahahaha, Wild, you should get into comedy writing. In a hollywood ending, yes, the good guy, no matter how wuss he acts, always gets the girl. Ice, my advice for you, RUN DON'T WALK!!!! Would you show up to work if you knew you weren't gonna get paid?

Why should you give her a way out by being nice and not hurting her or making her feel bad when you want to drop her. Believe me, she is in it for herself, and she will resent you when you finally demand to be involved and you act like she "owes" you for being for her all this time.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

"she says it's a mistake for me to catch feelings for her because of the fact that she is not over this other guy and it wouldn't be fair to me. "

Hey Iceberg,

If this is the kind of woman your interested in then you have issues. An alpha male doesn't settle for another man's table scraps or wait for any woman. Peace.