Oneitis is haunting the **** out of me, any ideas??

[the_govner]

I'm 24 so thought I try out the mature forum. So there's this girl that I chased AFC style exactly a year ago around Feb. She left the country I live to move to LA. I ****ing go to LA just to see her. That's how AFC I was! End result: She loves me like a friend. Whoopie****ingdo.

Shut down.

I didn't contact her till she came back in December and we bumped into each other. Talked for a few minutes and moved on. (keep in mind I buffed up and was looking 30times better than I did in Feb).

Nothing after that and mid Jan is her birthday so I send her a facebook personal message to wish her, this leads to a long letter replies back and forth, by long I mean 4-5 paragraphs. Maybe a total of 4 letters from each side. Nothing big though just about random topics.

Today I get an SMS saying:

Hey Govner! I'm in town for a week. What's up?

my question is: Is there a way to salvage this despite my AFC stupidity a year ago? Or am I going to be her lovable friend for life? I need my pride back!

 

[KontrollerX]

Excerpt from the 15 Lessons...

“But why, Pook!? Why is friendship hopeless!? I fall in love with my female friends. Do they not do the same?”

Pook then called up a woman. She appeared in a blaze of fire (probably from the place which all women are from…).

“Oh woman, pray tell! Why do you not go after your male friends?”

The woman looked amazed that anyone could ask her that. “Because they are just friends.”

“But do they not fall in love with you?”

“Yes. My male friends constantly fall in love with me.”

“And, speak truly madam, what do you and your male friends do?”

“Oh! Well, we hang out. We talk a lot.”

“Talk? About what?”

“Everything. Anything.”

“And they fall in love with you.”

“Yes.”

“Ahh…” said the Pook. “Now we have the answer. Away with you!” And the woman vanished in a fireball.

“What answer?”

“Why, it is a difference between the sexes. Young man, what do you do with your friends?”

He looked thoughtful. “We play basketball. We ride around town. We play video games. We…”

“But do you and your guy friends ever sit around and talk about your feelings and things going on in your life?”

The young man looked angry. “HELL NO!”

“There is your answer. Men do not get together and just talk. We do things. When we are with our women friends, we talk much more. Since we reserve our talking, sharing emotions and experiences, to our romantic interest, we get confused with our female friends. We begin to get interested in them because of this.”

“But what about women, Pook?”

Pook pointed to the telephone lines above them. Lightning surged and glowed along the lines.

“The phone lines! They are on fire!”

“Indeed. When women get together, what do they do?”

The young man looked at the fiery lines. “They talk!”

“About what?”

He looked thoughtful as sparks rained on him. “Everything!”

“Women usually aren’t used to getting together and doing pure action. So when they do so with their guy friends, they get a bit confused as well.”

“I see…”

“So avoid the friendship route. When you see a woman you are interested in, go for her romantically. For a friend she sees, a friend you shall always be.”

 

[the_govner]

Excerpt from the 15 Lessons...

****. I forgot about this. Thanks.

I replied her with:

Welcome home. I'm in a meeting will call you after.

I'll invite her to a quick cup of coffee or some physical fun (beach/boxing/whatever).

What do you think?

 

[KontrollerX]

Sounds good.

Just make sure to treat her like a chick you are interested in like Pook basically said and see what happens from there.

You know initiate kino, C+F, go for the kiss if you get the vibes etc.

You'll know if she's a cold fish and a dead end for you soon enough if you try those and they fail to light a fire in her for you.

 

[the_govner]

Sounds good.

Just make sure to treat her like a chick you are interested in like Pook basically said and see what happens from there.

You know initiate kino, C+F, go for the kiss if you get the vibes etc.

You'll know if she's a cold fish and a dead end for you soon enough if you try those and they fail to light a fire in her for you.

Great thanks bro!

 

[spax]

Cop out. Shes NOT interested. Give up

 

[rubikon]

basically one-itis is a deadly sin, bro. if you're working on self-improvement, if you're a DJism follower, there's good news for you: you'll get over it, sooner or later

now, if you had a break from this girl and you managed to make a deep change in your mentality, you have not much to loose here. but judging by your account - are you sure you want to play the role of a saviour? is it really DJish?

 

[mikeyb]

If you decide to go for her romantically, you WILL lose her as a friend. From what I read, you might not care about that, but it's worth keeping in mind.

 

[slaog]

Heres a thread from the tips section entitled Escaping the friend zone. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=43174

 

[the_govner]

Thanks guys. Ima read the Escaping the friend zone thread.

 

[the_govner]

I need advice. I was amazingly flaked on.

So I spoke to her on Tuesday and told her I'd be out wed night and we should catch up over a couple drinks and she JUMPED at the idea.

Wed she says she's tired, jetlagged, but suggested that we meet up thurs fri or sat anything I want. So I said fri sat i'm busy but I might be able to squeeze her in on thurs. I said I had a lunch date and that I wouldn't mind meeting her after. And I said I'd call her the next day.

So thursday comes, I call her at around 2, no answer, 3, no answer, 5, no answer, 8, no answer. I know this is needy but this is holy week, a rare holiday, and i wanted to know what was going on so I wouldn't waste my holiday. Its friday night now and I haven't heard anything from her, haven't attempted to contact her since the last call on thurs.

My question is: Do I let it go? Tell her off? Take any action? Or just sit back? For any girl i would sit back, but this feels different. I was actually in love with this girl. She has no history of being cruel or disrespectful.

This is major DISRESPECT. For those that haven't read the first few posts in this thread, please do so you can understand the predicament.

Thanks guys.

 

[ARrocket]

Her actions speak loudly. For your own sake man, next her. Don't contact her at all. If she doesn't contact you in the next week or so, I'd just delete her number or whatever to get rid of any temptation to contact her. Start dating others and just move on. What she's doing is not cool, and you will NOT put up with it.

 

[the_govner]

Her actions speak loudly. For your own sake man, next her. Don't contact her at all. If she doesn't contact you in the next week or so, I'd just delete her number or whatever to get rid of any temptation to contact her. Start dating others and just move on. What she's doing is not cool, and you will NOT put up with it.

****. I really really cared for this girl. Pardon the AFC in me coming out, but she was flawless until this came up. Should I really?

 

[slaog]

So thursday comes, I call her at around 2, no answer, 3, no answer, 5, no answer, 8, no answer.

The more you call her the more you're pushing her away. Forget about her. She'll respect you more if you give her some space and if you don't really care about making her your girlfriend.

 

[DonGorgon]

Women do fall in live with their male friends but only with the ones that dont love them first...

 

[tick37]

You sure are rewarding her a lot for bad behavior. That's pretty damn weak on your part. Kick back, relax, and forget about her. Find 3 or 4 woman to keep you satisfied so you won't get so overtly interested and needy with just one chick.

 

[DonGorgon]

You sure are rewarding her a lot for bad behavior. That's pretty damn weak on your part. Kick back, relax, and forget about her. Find 3 or 4 woman to keep you satisfied so you won't get so overtly interested and needy with just one chick.

That advice is the basis to the gender battle... women have no problem havin 5 and 6 other options but for us men its its alot more difficult...

 

[tick37]

That advice is the basis to the gender battle... women have no problem havin 5 and 6 other options but for its its alot more difficult...

I don't understand what your saying here. Did you leave out a word?

 

[DonGorgon]

I don't understand what your saying here. Did you leave out a word?

Yeh fixed it .. I left out "us men"

 

[tick37]

It's not so hard. I have my fill, and I'm not a millionaire. The more women you have, the more likely you won't chase them because there are too many and too little time which in turn keeps them interested in you because you are not chasing them. So it's a cycle that helps you get and keep more women because you don't have the time or resources to pursue them as if you only had one.