the_govner
Don Juan
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- Jan 2, 2008
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I didn't contact her. 2 full days now. Will keep it this way.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Oneitis is haunting the **** out of me, any ideas??
- Thread starter the_govner
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
My Name is Nobody
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2007
- Messages
- 2,153
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- 13
I see you breaking down and contacting her. DON'T DO IT.the_govner said:I didn't contact her. 2 full days now. Will keep it this way.
S.S.N. 318
Don Juan
The Truth
Word 2 Da Wise:
Stay Away from the girl, and thats real talk....
Nothing but bad news bro.
Fa Real...
Word 2 Da Wise:
Stay Away from the girl, and thats real talk....
Nothing but bad news bro.
Fa Real...
the_govner
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2008
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 1
My Name is Nobody said:I see you breaking down and contacting her. DON'T DO IT.
3 days, i won't. thanks bro.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
gov,
This woman is not a goddess.
She is not your savior.
She is not perfect.
She isnt displaying high IL actions and behavior.
Youre not gettng anything out of this deal..
Youre clearly in love with her.
Gov, she knows, bro..
she knows...
she flaked because the way you two talked...she got the senes of how desperately happy and how excited you must have been to have the opportunity of a chance to see her....
So she realized that if she would go see you , she would be enabling a situation. Leading you on...
A situation in which she perhaps thinks of you as nothing more than a friend and you are hopelessly in love with her....
That is not comfortable for anyone.
She probably didnt want to lead you on.
When you scare a chick , she will flake.
When you havent built enough rapport and COMFORT , she will flake.
You were still clearly in love with her, perhaps gushing, and she felt it and freaked a little
When you called that many times in one day , you probably hammered the last nail of the coffin....
Dont EVER EVER EVER EVER do that sh*t again.
Dont EVER lose control of yourself like that ever again....
NO WOMAN in the entire UNIVERSE is worth THAT kind of behavior on your part.
Dont EVER lose your self respect, dignity and Morale for some woman.
Whatever problems you have ..SHE cannot fix for you.
Whatever feelings of low self esteem or low self worth you have...she cannot give enough to you.........
What ever dreams of happiness you have in your head, she cannot give to you because of the MANNER in which you VIEW love and romance and male/female interactions.
Whatever you have MISSING inside of you ..........shye DOES NOT HAVE enough of.
When you are like this you are a botomless pit of Value Taking.
No one and Nothing can fill you up.
You have to learn how to change this.
EVERYTHING you NEED to have a HEALTHY and FULFILLING romantic and adult, mature relationship can only be UNCOVERED inside of YOU.
The more you chase and lean on her the more she will lean and run away from you.
You can never possess any woman.
You cannot own her.
Men NEED to learn how to be the 'rock'.
Let the woman be free and love you the way she wants to...
not the way you are trying to FORCE her to.
men have anarrower margin for error.
Women want to be polarized and feel Femenine and they cannot do that when you are Desperate for her.
She cannot align herself to you when you are desperate for her.
A woman cannot feel free , femenine and sexual when she feels she has to save you....
And when you dont have the strength to walk away from her, you actually kill attraction.
Women HAVE to KNOW that you have the strength to WALK AWAY from her.
She doesnt want you to be groveling on the ground trying to prove yourself Worthy of her..
She wants to know you have OPTIONS
She wants to know you are INDEPENDENT
She wants to know that you are strong and will NOT TAKE HER Sh*t.
If she doesnt love you, then you let her go.....
Men have to be decisive and be leaders.
hey must have tremendous Emotional Strength.
Be non Reactive, and in control of their Emotions.
If you do not possess these traits you will rarely be attracting the kind of women you really want.
If you want a High Character woman, YOU must be a High Character man.
If you want a woman to align hersel fot you.then you MUST be the confident, masculine LEADER and be DECiSIVE. and have RESOLVE and INTEGRITY in your DECISIONS
No woman can ever be the CENTER of YOUR UNIVERSE.
The good mature women know this. And they will not choose a man who will place her over his own WELL BEING and HEALTH.
Because if you dont know your priorities and cannot maintain them, then you are no good as a partner.
If you want a good woman, kind, caring, compassionate, sweet, understanding, and tender, loving and generous..then you WILL NOT HAVE HER if you dont know how to keep your PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.
The selfish nags who look for provisioners WANT to be the center of your world, for you to drop everything you have for her.
Build high character and strong personal boundaries.
have a Mission in Life.
And stay GROUNDED....
TO be powerfully Mascuine is to be STRONGLY GROUNDED..not all over the place....
chasing and pinnig away from some woman who isnt even interested.
This woman is not a goddess.
She is not your savior.
She is not perfect.
She isnt displaying high IL actions and behavior.
Youre not gettng anything out of this deal..
Youre clearly in love with her.
Gov, she knows, bro..
she knows...
she flaked because the way you two talked...she got the senes of how desperately happy and how excited you must have been to have the opportunity of a chance to see her....
So she realized that if she would go see you , she would be enabling a situation. Leading you on...
A situation in which she perhaps thinks of you as nothing more than a friend and you are hopelessly in love with her....
That is not comfortable for anyone.
She probably didnt want to lead you on.
When you scare a chick , she will flake.
When you havent built enough rapport and COMFORT , she will flake.
You were still clearly in love with her, perhaps gushing, and she felt it and freaked a little
When you called that many times in one day , you probably hammered the last nail of the coffin....
Dont EVER EVER EVER EVER do that sh*t again.
Dont EVER lose control of yourself like that ever again....
NO WOMAN in the entire UNIVERSE is worth THAT kind of behavior on your part.
Dont EVER lose your self respect, dignity and Morale for some woman.
Whatever problems you have ..SHE cannot fix for you.
Whatever feelings of low self esteem or low self worth you have...she cannot give enough to you.........
What ever dreams of happiness you have in your head, she cannot give to you because of the MANNER in which you VIEW love and romance and male/female interactions.
Whatever you have MISSING inside of you ..........shye DOES NOT HAVE enough of.
When you are like this you are a botomless pit of Value Taking.
No one and Nothing can fill you up.
You have to learn how to change this.
EVERYTHING you NEED to have a HEALTHY and FULFILLING romantic and adult, mature relationship can only be UNCOVERED inside of YOU.
The more you chase and lean on her the more she will lean and run away from you.
You can never possess any woman.
You cannot own her.
Men NEED to learn how to be the 'rock'.
Let the woman be free and love you the way she wants to...
not the way you are trying to FORCE her to.
men have anarrower margin for error.
Women want to be polarized and feel Femenine and they cannot do that when you are Desperate for her.
She cannot align herself to you when you are desperate for her.
A woman cannot feel free , femenine and sexual when she feels she has to save you....
And when you dont have the strength to walk away from her, you actually kill attraction.
Women HAVE to KNOW that you have the strength to WALK AWAY from her.
She doesnt want you to be groveling on the ground trying to prove yourself Worthy of her..
She wants to know you have OPTIONS
She wants to know you are INDEPENDENT
She wants to know that you are strong and will NOT TAKE HER Sh*t.
If she doesnt love you, then you let her go.....
Men have to be decisive and be leaders.
hey must have tremendous Emotional Strength.
Be non Reactive, and in control of their Emotions.
If you do not possess these traits you will rarely be attracting the kind of women you really want.
If you want a High Character woman, YOU must be a High Character man.
If you want a woman to align hersel fot you.then you MUST be the confident, masculine LEADER and be DECiSIVE. and have RESOLVE and INTEGRITY in your DECISIONS
No woman can ever be the CENTER of YOUR UNIVERSE.
The good mature women know this. And they will not choose a man who will place her over his own WELL BEING and HEALTH.
Because if you dont know your priorities and cannot maintain them, then you are no good as a partner.
If you want a good woman, kind, caring, compassionate, sweet, understanding, and tender, loving and generous..then you WILL NOT HAVE HER if you dont know how to keep your PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.
The selfish nags who look for provisioners WANT to be the center of your world, for you to drop everything you have for her.
Build high character and strong personal boundaries.
have a Mission in Life.
And stay GROUNDED....
TO be powerfully Mascuine is to be STRONGLY GROUNDED..not all over the place....
chasing and pinnig away from some woman who isnt even interested.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
the_govner
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2008
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 1
Interceptor,
Thanks man. Cruelly honest, but thanks. Bookmarked.
In my defense, when she came and contacted, I said I was busy and would call her later whenever she tried to contact. And when she asked to hang out on thursday, I said I had a lunch date and would see if I could free up my afternoon. However, that was all scripted, I guess my subconscious gushing was still readable.
I haven't contacted her in 4 days now, and will keep it this way.
I've always had the problem of easily scoring flings, with really really fine women at that, but once I fall for someone, I never succeed. I guess I just have to figure out a way to bring the 2 together.
Apart from the debacle with this particular girl, I think I'm living well. A disciplined, mission-driven lifestyle that has no time for petty things such as this. However, I guess she was my last remaining weakness. Now i'm free.
Cheers,
Gov
Thanks man. Cruelly honest, but thanks. Bookmarked.
In my defense, when she came and contacted, I said I was busy and would call her later whenever she tried to contact. And when she asked to hang out on thursday, I said I had a lunch date and would see if I could free up my afternoon. However, that was all scripted, I guess my subconscious gushing was still readable.
I haven't contacted her in 4 days now, and will keep it this way.
I've always had the problem of easily scoring flings, with really really fine women at that, but once I fall for someone, I never succeed. I guess I just have to figure out a way to bring the 2 together.
Apart from the debacle with this particular girl, I think I'm living well. A disciplined, mission-driven lifestyle that has no time for petty things such as this. However, I guess she was my last remaining weakness. Now i'm free.
Cheers,
Gov
The 2nd or 3rd time you called her that day you should had left a pissed off voicemail message. If she calls you you gotta let her know you don't tolerate sh*t like this.
But she probably won't call you. I know your problem all too well my friend. It's not easy.
But she probably won't call you. I know your problem all too well my friend. It's not easy.
the_govner
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2008
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 1
snowdog said:The 2nd or 3rd time you called her that day you should had left a pissed off voicemail message. If she calls you you gotta let her know you don't tolerate sh*t like this.
But she probably won't call you. I know your problem all too well my friend. It's not easy.
Don't you think that if I left a pissed off voicemail I'd just be letting her know how much she makes me react?
I don't mean screaming into the phone or something, just be cold and send the message that you're not happy about it. Make her feel like she has something to make up to you.
But it's too late for that man, try to forget about her. Again, stuff like this sucks, but you can't be miserable about one girl your whole life. Life's too short for that.
But it's too late for that man, try to forget about her. Again, stuff like this sucks, but you can't be miserable about one girl your whole life. Life's too short for that.
I find it extremely disrespectful for people not to return phone calls if you leave a message, especially if you're made tentative plans for that day. Do they expect you to keep calling until they answer? Give me a break.
My rule is to call and leave a message, and if they don't call me back, I don't either.
I have an old co-worker who I consider a good friend. She's a 30-something year old hottie, who always talks to me about the games she plays. It's pretty amusing; she's totally an attention wh0re, who loves to brag about how many guys keep calling her, how often she gets asked out, etc. I think I'm her only long-standing male friend because she always plays games with everyone, but I just don't care. She'll call and not leave a message, but instead, be mad at me for not answering. I'm like, do you expect me to slave to my phone when I think you may be calling? Her answer is always, yes. Then I tell her to get over herself, it's mildly amusing. I believe the rule is, as a DJ, it should not bother you, because your time is in demand, and if she does not respect your time then you should not respect hers.
My rule is to call and leave a message, and if they don't call me back, I don't either.
I have an old co-worker who I consider a good friend. She's a 30-something year old hottie, who always talks to me about the games she plays. It's pretty amusing; she's totally an attention wh0re, who loves to brag about how many guys keep calling her, how often she gets asked out, etc. I think I'm her only long-standing male friend because she always plays games with everyone, but I just don't care. She'll call and not leave a message, but instead, be mad at me for not answering. I'm like, do you expect me to slave to my phone when I think you may be calling? Her answer is always, yes. Then I tell her to get over herself, it's mildly amusing. I believe the rule is, as a DJ, it should not bother you, because your time is in demand, and if she does not respect your time then you should not respect hers.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
the_govner said:I need advice. I was amazingly flaked on.
My question is: Do I let it go? Tell her off? Take any action? Or just sit back? For any girl i would sit back, but this feels different. I was actually in love with this girl. She has no history of being cruel or disrespectful.
It feels different. FEELS. FEEL. It's not different. It only FEELS different. But it's not.
You loved her. She never loved you. I repeat. SHE NEVER LOVED YOU. Get that in your head.
Now treat her like any other girl. Move on. Go after some new chics.