Oneitis for your primary plate

[Uncharted]

Obviously you always try to keep away the oneitis bug, but does everyone else "rank" their plates? I basically have the one I really want, and then the low priority ones.

I think the problem with this is that it's basically still oneitis. I just realized it today. I met up with one of my other plates. She offered to make me lunch. We had some food, beers, hooked up, and about 10 seconds after I blew in her mouth, I was thinking about my #1 plate. Not good.

I'm honestly thinking of taking a break from my #1 for now so I don't blow it. I haven't done anything AFC yet so I haven't done anything wrong (we've already slept together). I always believe that doing nothing is better than doing something stupid and screwing it up.

 

[TheCWord]

I think it's only a problem if you never want to settle down and have a real relationship ever. If that's something you could see yourself doing one day, then picking a plate out as being more special than the others is pretty much a necessity.

Do you think taking a break from a girl because you don't want to lose her is the right choice?

 

[youngmack]

For me its always a lack of plates. For some got damn reason i never have any plates spinning or they just magically drop out my hands as soon as a top notch girl gets in the rotation.

And its really out my control. Its like there is some invisible force fvcking with me on purpose lol. This is always happens and that top notch girl ends up being the only girl i'm talking to at that time which causes me to get like a little oneitis and i end up fvcking sh1t up.

 

[Uncharted]

I'd rather not drop her, just pull back a little and treat her like the others.

The problem is that I was concentrating on #1 and holding back on the other plates, and they started blowing up my phone. Nice problem to have I guess.

 

[BeDJ]

I don't understand why you are developing feelings for this chick if you have other options. It's possible you want exclusivity.

 

[SirFratserlot]

congratulations, the timer to your time bomb has started clicking. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Most people's definition of one-itis is severely skewed on this board.

One-itis by definition is when you are so focused on one girl, WHO DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO. This in turn creates an anxiety that affects you so much that you can't do anything but think about said girl.

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Uncharted; you don't have One-itis, you have healthy interest in one girl over your other options.

As long as you are aware of it (and you are) and can control your emotions, you will reap the benefits of a relationship with someone who is just as, if not more into you.

The key is to stay emotionally grounded enough to keep being a challenge and keep your sense open to her actions.








PIMP

 

[Jaylan]

I don't understand why you are developing feelings for this chick if you have other options. It's possible you want exclusivity.

I somewhat agree with this OP. If you find yourself longing for her and thinking about her (esp when with other women), then clearly you have an emotional connection to your #1.

In which case you need to seriously analyze what you want, and find out what she wants as well. If you guys arent on the same page, its best to pull back so you dont completely ruin everything and you at least have her as a future option. Figure out what you want from women right now, and specifically what you want from your number 1.

Sounds to me like youre in that familiar place of wanting to have options and fun moving around to different girls, but still have strong feelings and possibly desire commitment for one girl. Weigh them pros and cons.

Most people's definition of one-itis is severely skewed on this board.

One-itis by definition is when you are so focused on one girl, WHO DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO. This in turn creates an anxiety that affects you so much that you can't do anything but think about said girl.

------------------------

Uncharted; you don't have One-itis, you have healthy interest in one girl over your other options.

As long as you are aware of it (and you are) and can control your emotions, you will reap the benefits of a relationship with someone who is just as, if not more into you.

The key is to stay emotionally grounded enough to keep being a challenge and keep your sense open to her actions.

PIMP

This.

Everything this man just said is correct OP. Oneitis is the friend zone of unrequited feelings. Theres nothing wrong with developing strong mutual feelings for a woman.

 

[macallik]

Personally, it sounds like your other plates are not high enough quality so it almost encourages one-itis. For example, if three Rosie O'Donnells want to date you and one Emma Stone, hanging with the Rosie's will just make you miss Emma that much more.

I am not saying your other plates are fat (or lesbians) but the idea is the same. They are not the same caliber as your main chick. That means that you need to either find more high caliber chicks, or figure out whether you want to try a monogamous relationship

 

[plate's_empty]

For me its always a lack of plates. For some got damn reason i never have any plates spinning or they just magically drop out my hands as soon as a top notch girl gets in the rotation.

And its really out my control. Its like there is some invisible force fvcking with me on purpose lol. This is always happens and that top notch girl ends up being the only girl i'm talking to at that time which causes me to get like a little oneitis and i end up fvcking sh1t up.

haha yeah, I can relate to this^^^^ either that or she becomes your girlfriend simply out of convenience.

Personally, it sounds like your other plates are not high enough quality so it almost encourages one-itis. For example, if three Rosie O'Donnells want to date you and one Emma Stone, hanging with the Rosie's will just make you miss Emma that much more.

I am not saying your other plates are fat (or lesbians) but the idea is the same. They are not the same caliber as your main chick. That means that you need to either find more high caliber chicks, or figure out whether you want to try a monogamous relationship

I like this, sounds familiar as well. I'll have my once a week plates, my monthly plates, my bi-annual plates. Once I get that top notch plate though, I'll start to forget about some of the other ones....

Spinning plates properly is a tough task. You need to have discipline and your emotions in check. One drunken night of booty calling and AFC behavior can set you back some. I have a few friends that can spin plates with the best of them, but I have problems with getting emotionally attached to my plate's every once in a while (after determining they'r not LTR material for me), which in turn makes me not want to see some of the lower quality ones. But if I had five or six HB9's on the other hand.....I think I'd be alright.

 

[Zarky]

I think of women as pretty much fungible. Never really had one plate I liked more than the others. That's like having a $100 bill you like more than your other $100 bills.

EDIT:

Actually that's a bad analogy because women are all slightly different and they all offer slightly different things. Though in the end all my plates offer the same overall utility. So it's like asking which is more:

1 + 4 + 7 + 3
or
3 + 2 + 6 + 4
or
5 + 5 + 3 + 2

They all add up to the same thing but are a little bit different in getting there.