Oneitis does not make you feel good.

[seethehoop]

I have only every suffered with Oneitis twice in my life, both times with the same girl. The first time I didn’t know what it was but I did tell myself I wouldn’t allow myself to fall in to it again but when she came back I couldn’t help myself. Maybe if I’d have actually known what it was and could have identified it then I wouldn’t have fallen back in to it so easily. Now that I know exactly what it is and what PU is this is what I’ve learnt.

Oneitis doesn’t actually feel good. I’ve spent months not sleeping, feeling sick, not being able to concentrate. Not taking proper care of myself or my affairs, both physically and emotionally. I’ve realised that I have done myself an injustice and lowered my quality of life by dedicating so much energy to one person.

Now that I’m coming out of the other side of it I realise just how stupid it was to get so emotionally involved. Over the last few weeks I have started to refocus my energy exactly where it needed to be. I have been going to the gym, eating right, going out to meet people and practicing my game. In doing all this I have managed to create something far better than Oneitis. I am starting to feel really happy just being me. I’ve had some great nights out just having some fun.

It’s been a real blast.

So I write this for anyone that feels that little itch coming on and they start to slip remember this. Oneitis does not make you feel good, it is an illusion and if you focus your efforts in the right direction then the reality is far better.

 

[SeymourCake]

Really? You learn something new everyday because this whole time I thought oneitis was supposed to feel great.

 

[seethehoop]

I think you are confusing oneitis with love. Oneitis is all about you, how you feel, how they make you feel, how they make you think, how they make you act. All you. Love is something that is shared and respected.

Oneitis gives you a distorted perception of reality. Its not healthy putting someone on that pedastal. Not for you or for her. It gives an image that they are better than you and you are not worthy of them and also gives them an image to live up to that they can't possibley do.

 

[bigneil]

Oneitis is actually a gift that is being misapplied toward focusing on a woman versus a problem with a profitable solution.

It is based on the fact that our subconcious continues to try and solve problems after we conciously stop thinking about them.

Why not apply it to math problems?

When she dumps you, you are no longer a problem she needs to solve, but knowing what went wrong and/or getting her back can be impossible problems to solve, so your brain won't stop thinking about them.

When you see someone who you have gone oneitis over, they take on a magical aura. When two people are infatuated, they can both feel that same phenomenon - it's awesome when it happens but it's fragile. It's bad enough to ever get it, but you should never have oneitis unless it was at least once mutual. That's just desperation. Or you might say that it's not oneitis is it's ever mutual, and it's just heartbreak, but to me, oneitis is the phenomenon that occurs when you obsess over one person.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Sometimes I think the best cure for oneitis is age. At least with me, after I reached a certain age I was just over all the emotional chaos of what was basically being an AFC. I made a decision that my mental health and stature was more important than any girl or whatever insecurities I was feeling. So I just stopped it, plain and simple. And now i'm to the point where I really just don't care what a girl does. I sh!t on sh!t tests, it actually takes a bit of effort for me to even show I care anymore.

Took a girl out the other night and noticed she was a bit distracted checking out other dudes. Then she tries to comment on it assuming I had been paying attention to her. I had to stop her and ask her WTF she was talking about. Her facial expression was priceless. And her IL did increase after that...

 

[DonJuanabe]

Not age, rather, experience. The more women you date the more you develop immunity to oneitis. Like chicken pox.

Normally I wear glasses; the other day I put on contacts and noticed serious, dark bags under my eyes. Like I'd been punched in the face twice, very hard. I also had been waking up throughout the night and unable to get much sleep for weeks. Oneitis really does take a toll on you physically.

 

[st_99]

Not age, rather, experience..

yeah, i agree. because i've seen far too many afc chumps well into their 30's 40's, etc..

but splacker is right, eventually you need to get to the point where this all becomes kind of funny.

 

[Subology]

Oneitis is actually a gift that is being misapplied toward focusing on a woman versus a problem with a profitable solution.

It is based on the fact that our subconcious continues to try and solve problems after we conciously stop thinking about them.

Why not apply it to math problems?

When she dumps you, you are no longer a problem she needs to solve, but knowing what went wrong and/or getting her back can be impossible problems to solve, so your brain won't stop thinking about them.

When you see someone who you have gone oneitis over, they take on a magical aura. When two people are infatuated, they can both feel that same phenomenon - it's awesome when it happens but it's fragile. It's bad enough to ever get it, but you should never have oneitis unless it was at least once mutual. That's just desperation. Or you might say that it's not oneitis is it's ever mutual, and it's just heartbreak, but to me, oneitis is the phenomenon that occurs when you obsess over one person.

Attraction from other women can actually increase when you have oneitis. The aura of nonchalance is picked up by Women - off course you are only nonchalance because your heart is else where, but that isn't immediately obvious to other women. But yeah, the original poster is focusing not only too much attention on Women in general, but too much attention on one particular woman. Find a hobby (something which doesn't make you feel crap about yourself) and focus your attention on that. Allow the nonchalance the hobby will generate, and reap the rewards. The key is to not be completely obsessed with women, and your vibe will communicate this.

 

[youngmack]

Attraction from other women can actually increase when you have oneitis. The aura of nonchalance is picked up by Women - off course you are only nonchalance because your heart is else where, but that isn't immediately obvious to other women. But yeah, the original poster is focusing not only too much attention on Women in general, but too much attention on one particular woman. Find a hobby (something which doesn't make you feel crap about yourself) and focus your attention on that. Allow the nonchalance the hobby will generate, and reap the rewards. The key is to not be completely obsessed with women, and your vibe will communicate this.

Fvck yes i love this answer, your totally right, i got more girls because i didnt seem to scare about other girls . Only my oneitis girl... I gotta find a way to channel all this energy from her to something else which isnt a girl

 

[bigneil]

Attraction from other women can actually increase when you have oneitis.

This is so true and is the silver lining that few have observed. It's also why I have always pursued the most beautiful women I know.

Even if you only get a date, or you date them and lose them, by being involved with the most beautifrul women you gain the attitude of treating every other woman as second-rate, which is what they want. You act like you've been there because you have. You get prequalified by nearly all subsequent women the moment you look at them - because they somehow sense you've had better.