"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Oneitis - Best thing to ever happen?

Thatonekid92

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I've made posts about obsessing over a girl I asked out at a store and after she rejected me, she would still stare me down and was still attracted... but not to the point of breaking up with her BF :cuss: LOL

So, I am still a tad bit obsessed with this girl. I am trying to get over Oneitis and I am no longer convincing myself that she is the one.

She was a plane jane that, for whatever reason... I just wanted really badly.

Here is the thing - I still go into that store (After all, it's a grocery store closest to my home) and for the past few weeks I haven't seen her.

I mean, even before that I'd only see her once every 2 weeks if I had to go in there, but my point is - I'm thinking she quit.

After she rejected me (Literally back in decemeber) I always wanted to walk up and just talk to her... but I couldn't. I was too embarrassed, so I just avoided eye contact when I caught her looking at me.

So I view this as 1 of 2 things, tell me what you think.

1. Lesson NOT learned, you never even faced up the courage to speak with her again and made yourself look like a *****.

2. Well now you CANNOT have oneitis because hell, you'll never see her again! She's gone and you only know her first name!

Also, I was.. WAS completely over this until (Very cringe worthy), I had 2 dreams in a week and both of them portrayed me going up to her, winning her over, and her telling me that she really liked me all along. That essential woke up this obsession again for another round.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Zarky

Master Don Juan
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Whatever. Young guys get oneitis all the time. No big deal. At least you realize you should be getting past it. Knowing is half the battle :)

The only time to be worried is if it makes you do weird sh*t like stalk her or avoid other, REAL women. If it alters your behavior substantially then you should worry. If it's just a compulsive thought here and there it's not a big deal.

As you get older (30s and up) these little "crushes" will happen less and less frequently.
 

Bingo-Player

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Haha oneitis with a BF is lethal

I was / still am majorly hung up on a chick with a BF.....slightly different to yours as ive actually had a relationship with mine in the past and i let her slip through my fingers which belive it or not hurts even more

Anyway long story short she wont split with her BF either so its either i spend the next year beating myself up over it or i man up and go bang some chicks.......... which is what i did and it has actually put her to the back of my mind for the time being and let me get on with my life

Crack on with your game and spin some plates when this chick eventually finishes with her BF and it will happen....... the new you will be ready to pounce
 

sylvester the cat

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My one itis actually did split up with her boy friend. She kept on insisting it wasn't because of me even though I never said it was.
 

Thatonekid92

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Mixed replies, but I like it, interesting. Thanks for the advice.

Also, I've been told that she just went away for the summer to work somewhere else and she'll be back. Makes me think.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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