Oneitis Before Copulation

[doctoroxygen]

Something I've noticed a lot on this board is guys asking how to deal with relationships, in whatever capacity, they have with women. Oftentimes there are telltale signs of oneitis in the posts, "special flower syndrome" and all that.

Something that's been really effective for me in combating oneitis when I meet a cool girl that seems to like me is to remind myself that there is no real connection until you've had sex with the girl. You have no idea till then, and your chances of getting with the girl if you ALREADY have oneitis are usually miniscule.

The point of this, for skimmers, in all caps:

THERE IS NO CONNECTION UNTIL YOU HAVE MADE LOVE TO A GIRL, THEREFORE ONEITIS IS ALL IN YOUR OWN HEAD.

With oneitis, you're making up a connection with a girl that doesn't exist in her world until AFTER you've laid her.

That is all.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Good stuff bro.

I think many guys here find a great gal..then make some kinda mini dramatic soap opera type 'relationship' in their head about a woman.

WOW she has a great job, has a great body, is funny, awesome, and sweet....sometimes they do this all before even going on a date with the girl....so oneitits is inevitable because the fella has worked the girl up so high on that pedistal.

How about all these things are true...and she's just horrid in bed? hahaha...I like how you put it.

Waiting until after you lay her...the only prob is that most of my oneitis for a women comes out of me and is sprayed all over the girl's stomach or back..hahaa..

 

[doctoroxygen]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
Waiting until after you lay her...the only prob is that most of my oneitis for a women comes out of me and is sprayed all over the girl's stomach or back..hahaa..

Haha, I'm lovin' this. My bro and I call that post-sex feeling "looking for the nuclear detonation button"...

You're in Seattle? I'm from there and will be back in town this month. We should meet up.

 

[naoi deag se deag]

Awesome point. Sex is the perfect benchmark to find this "incredible connection" feeling, but it can occur before then too. Experience (and, if you're lucky, the girl too) will tell you when you cross that threshold. Until you know and trust yourself well enough to know you've hit this point, never assume anything before the lay.

 

[LuvMyArmyMan]

Good for you. I think its awesome that a guy here will finally admit that sex is a powerful thing and will connect you to the other person in most cases. It is inevidable that you will feel something for the other person you've had sex with. Its just because sex is such an intimate thing. You can't deny it. Its invasive too. and when people are in invasive situations (not just sex, but with therapy, or when you go on a retreat, living together in close quarters, etc) you being to feel somewhat connected to these people because you're sharing such a part of yourself.

Ok i'm gonna stop now before i get too carried away.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by doctoroxygen
Haha, I'm lovin' this. My bro and I call that post-sex feeling "looking for the nuclear detonation button"...

You're in Seattle? I'm from there and will be back in town this month. We should meet up.

I live in belltown...I'm down for whatever bro...PM me

 

[GaryNas]

Originally posted by naoi deag se deag
Awesome point. Sex is the perfect benchmark to find this "incredible connection" feeling, but it can occur before then too. Experience (and, if you're lucky, the girl too) will tell you when you cross that threshold. Until you know and trust yourself well enough to know you've hit this point, never assume anything before the lay.

Excellent point. I've been with my girlfriend for a month (dating longer than that) and we have an amazing connection; it's something I've never felt, even in my past very LTR. The craziest part is, we haven't had sex yet.