Oneitis @ BBQ

[stevey_2000]

I've been invited to a BBQ by an old friend on Sunday afternoon and also i find out my ex-one-i-tus is also turning up but is now seeing another guy!, i'm not too sure whether to go to be honest as i know i'll turn into my old AFC self and feel schite seeing her with someone else. People say just ignore it but i have spoken to other fellow DJ's who has one-i-tus's and they know how it feels.

My options are...

1. Go and try to ignore her (apart from, of course, the hello's)

2. Don't go and goto another party with my other band of friends and go off clubbing later in the day with them (but this will be less sociable as it's not as many people and i havn't seen my option 1 pals for ages)

i'm a bit stuck here as i don't want to come across as someone who is scared to see her again BUT deep inside it will still hurt because i don't see myself as a true, fully fledged DJ yet.

opinions??

Ste.

 

[Blaaaaat]

Option 2 sounds like a lot more fun...

Any way, be sure you have fun.

 

[Turalyon999]

Here's the question: Do you want to go to the BBQ?

If you do than go, you determine your own destiny, not anyone else, in short, do what YOU want.

If you go to the BBQ, then just ignore her, don't even bother saying hello until she says it first, say hello back and then continue to ignore her.

Don't defeat yourself by not doing something you want.

In closing, what's more important to you, seeing your friend, or feeling awkward because some chick is there, who knows you may surprise yourself and not feel awkward at all.

Do what you want to do.

 

[shyguy208]

I agree. Do what YOU want. If you start to feel uncomfortable at the BBQ (you're not having fun) then leave and ring your other group of pals and join them.

Don't know what others think but it might even help you get over your 1-itis by seeing her. Just try to notice all the bad things about her. Compare her to the other women around. Is she really all that?

Not sure if I agree with waiting for her to say hello first. Just say hello if the situation seems right and seems polite to do so.

Whatever choose to do just don't get too worked up about anything. Just relax. Catch up with your pals (which ever group you end up hanging with). Make sure you enjoy yourself.

 

[stevey_2000]

cheers for the feeback fella's!!

i enjoy myself wherever i go so i'm not worried about that aspect...it was a simple question of wanting to know if you would go and see your one-i-tus kopping off with another bloke!!

made my decision anyway, cheers again.

Ste.

 

[horus]

Funny enough, was in an exactly similar situation a month ago. Went to a house party and ran into my onenitus with a guy that she is now seeing.

I was extremely courteous, said hello to her and her new boyfriend, and completely ignored her for the rest of the evening. The party was filled with so many other hotter girls who were flirting with me (i.e. they were putting all the moves on me, I was just being myself), and one girl grabbed me and kissed me on the cheek right in front of the onenitus in a very flirtatious way. On my way out of the party, I politely said goodbye to the onenitus and left. And you know what happened the next day? My onenitus sent me an e-mail to say hello and to ask what I did after the party, and I completely ignored it and didn't reply to her.

The only way to handle myself in front of my onenitus was to be extremely polite to her by saying hello and goodbye, pay almost no attention to her for the rest of the evening, and act completely indifferent and show that you are having the time of your life with or without her as if she wasn't there. You have to give her the impression that your life is great with or without her!

I have spoken to many female friends on the subject and they told me that indifference really kills a woman, it's the worst thing you can do to them. If you act like you cared, then they know they got you! And you know who has the ball in their court after that....