Well I just got back from my last band camp(I'm a senior now) and there's this HB7(IMO) blonde girl named Amanda that I've liked for along time who I think I have oneitis for(She's a junior). I wanted to approach her and had several chances, but I was too afraid of what would happen if I failed, if she thought I was lame or something. I know we've got a lot in common already, but I'm just afraid of approaching her. Basically I was too afraid of what would happen if she rejected me. I thought up a lot of things to talk to her about, but never ended up saying anything because I was too scared. Closest I got to talking to her was when she forget something and I gave it to her.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Oneitis band girl.
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
WesCottII
Master Don Juan
One-itis is not a healthy attraction to a girl, it as an attraction bourne of low self esteem. We give away our value to another because we believe having them will validate us. This is not healthy, and when two people share this type of attraction we call it co-dependency. True passion requires the potential of loss on either side, wheras of only the guy or only the girl has given all their value and is acting needy they are likley not to get very far.
Carpe PM, stay away from this girl until you are sorted.
Carpe PM, stay away from this girl until you are sorted.
Thing is, is that I'm really attracted to her, but it's like a feeling of 'if I fail with this girl, I'll never find someone else like her'. And since we'l see eachother a lot it might be awkward if she rejected me.WesCottII said:
WesCottII
Master Don Juan
Thats crap and you know it. Why would you never have another chance with a girl? Even when I wasn't activly approaching there was always some girl I saw on a regular basis.
Oneitis isn't good, I just got over it, it kills game and you NEVER get the girl. Stay away from her man.
Oneitis isn't good, I just got over it, it kills game and you NEVER get the girl. Stay away from her man.
Putting aside the oneitis issues here, I say go for it. Two things can happen, both good:
1. You get the girl.
2. You get shot down and learn you'll survive.
There are so many women out there that it makes any one woman insignificant. You'll get shot down time and time again, and each time you'll get a little stronger.
Why, just today I got shot down by some woman I've been pursuing for a while when I tried to push it to the next level. My reaction? Oh well, her loss. There's more pvssy right around the next corner.
Take it from an old head...you WILL survive rejection, but you'll gain nothing if you don't try.
1. You get the girl.
2. You get shot down and learn you'll survive.
There are so many women out there that it makes any one woman insignificant. You'll get shot down time and time again, and each time you'll get a little stronger.
Why, just today I got shot down by some woman I've been pursuing for a while when I tried to push it to the next level. My reaction? Oh well, her loss. There's more pvssy right around the next corner.
Take it from an old head...you WILL survive rejection, but you'll gain nothing if you don't try.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Stacks Of Terror
Don Juan
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Go for it. The main thing is you might not wanna come on as strong as you seem to do in your other approaches. Assuming you want an LTR with her then I would suggest you don't plow, plow, plow!
Arizona iced tea
Don Juan
usually i would say go for it, but i wouldnt want to see you mess it up. wait till you get some good results with other girls before you blow your chances with this one. thats pretty much what i did, i waited till i knew i wouldnt **** up when i finally started hanging out with my one-itis, and so far everything is going great. but had i just gone for it a while ago, it probably wouldnt have been so pretty... so just put her on a shelf in the back of your head for a few months, get comfortable, lose the prince story, and go for it 
GaryUranga
Master Don Juan
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oneitis sucks, its liek an adiction, just stop taking the drug diversify your options and then when YOURE in control you can decide if you want to go for it, thats what Im doing right now, its way harder when you and the girl had somethign goign on and you got really attached to her
sandman6991
Senior Don Juan
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If she's an HB 7...how in the hell could you not find anyone else like her?
Stacks Of Terror
Don Juan
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Oneitis is the name obsession is the game.sandman6991 said:
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
two choices:
1. stop being scared of what other people think, and do what you need to do. you will either get a date or get shot down but you will have no regrets later.
2. stay scared of talking to people and secretly pine for them, unaware if they really would have given you the time of day or not.
1. stop being scared of what other people think, and do what you need to do. you will either get a date or get shot down but you will have no regrets later.
2. stay scared of talking to people and secretly pine for them, unaware if they really would have given you the time of day or not.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I was too afraid of what would happen if I failed
Then do it the right way.
First, don't do it the wrong way.
Wrong way: "I think you're pretty/have crush on you. Will you go on a date with me?"
That's how most guys do it. Here's the right way:
"Hey. I'm doing ____ later (something not obviously a date, like dinner, movie, coffe, etc). Come with me."
Either she will or she won't, but she will if she likes you, or if she really can't, then she will apologize like crazy for it. The point is that you are asking her to join you in something that you are already going to do anyway. If she says yes, then when it happens, spend the time making her wonder if you really like her and if she is on a date or not. Push and pull.
Then do it the right way.
First, don't do it the wrong way.
Wrong way: "I think you're pretty/have crush on you. Will you go on a date with me?"
That's how most guys do it. Here's the right way:
"Hey. I'm doing ____ later (something not obviously a date, like dinner, movie, coffe, etc). Come with me."
Either she will or she won't, but she will if she likes you, or if she really can't, then she will apologize like crazy for it. The point is that you are asking her to join you in something that you are already going to do anyway. If she says yes, then when it happens, spend the time making her wonder if you really like her and if she is on a date or not. Push and pull.