Oneitis Attack

[Reto]

Just looking for some encouragement or even advice...

I met my oneitis over a year ago at the gym. Long story short, I asked her out, she said no, I was LJBF'd and jerked around for 9 months, then in Dec 02, she decided she was through with me and I haven't spoken to her since. She's done this 2 times over the past year. Decides she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. After sometime, I usually start up a conversation with her and things are back to normal.

Well, in the last month or so, she's surfaced at the gym. Usually she's getting done as I'm getting there. Well, last night she get's there just after I do. I'm on the exercise bike and she walks by and gives me a "wave" hello. I was reading and didn't notice at first it was her and said "hey". She gets on the exercise bike two down from me.

I continue reading for another 5 minutes, get up and start my work out. By looking in the mirrors, I notice her looking at me. I don't look back. I move to the ab area, she get's off of the bike and comes over to the ab area. I say nothing. No eye contact. I'm about done, so I get my book and go back to the bike. About 30+ minutes have gone by. (I'm taking a course and seem to get a lot of reading done while pedaling).

Anyway, she seems to have gained some popularity at the gym and is even dating some guy. (who will be jerked around, but that's another story). I believe she normally works out during the day.

The question is, should I continue to just ingore her? Or, if she starts "talking to me" again, become friends with her, again? We have some of the same friends...so if I ignore her around them, I come across as an @ssh0le. I sort of feel bad because I b!tched to them about what flake she is back in Dec...

Any thoughts? Advice?

 

[violator]

Well your instincts are correct. She is a bytch and a flake and most likely an attention wh0re by the way you describer her.

The best way to go about this is:

1. Next her. She has proven herself to be a waste of your precious time. Go out and date other women. Better yet, let her see you flirt with them at the gym.

2. If you see her, act indifferent but polite. This may get her intrigued and push certain buttons that may raise her IL, but I would not count on it. This type of creature thrives on your attention. Give her bad attention which is no attention at all.

 

[Reto]

Thing is, I am dating someone who does not work out at the gym. Even if oneitis wanted to go out now, I wouldn't. I don't even think I can be friends with her now.

You are right with #2. Pay her no attention, but be polite.

Why does it bother me so much that she's around again?

You know how when you were in high school and your friends go to a party and didn't invite you? That's kind of how I feel. We were friends, then all of a sudden I was tossed aside. Hurt, I guess. Maybe confused... Why does she act the way she does/did?

I'm dwelling on it. I need to forget about her and just ignore her. But, be polite...

 

[Bill]

Originally posted by Reto
Decides she doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

First fact: SHE is leading you on her little drama, her game. Don't participate, because by doing so you're giving her the upper hand on you, for her own pleasure.

Originally posted by Reto
Long story short, I asked her out, she said no, I was LJBF'd and jerked around for 9 months, then in Dec 02, she decided she was through with me and I haven't spoken to her since.

Second fact: you got jerked around, realized it and still talk to that person? Oneitis all you want, but respect yourself before anyone else.

Originally posted by Reto
The question is, should I continue to just ignore her?

Third fact: hell yeah! There are PLENTY of women out there who are worth knowing and hanging around, not to mention dating. This own sh!tted on your face, you shouldn't even bother thinking about her. Get the clue buddy? No more Ms. Drama & Jerking round for 9 months, she's down the drain. Flush her goodbye, do it right now! And best of luck with your new life.
Peace.

 

[squirrels]

Your attention to her should be "discretionary" She gets only the attention left over after the important stuff (you, your hobbies, your friends, other women, etc) is taken care of.

Otherwise, she'll monopolize all of it, do you NO good, and take it away from things that actually DESERVE it.

If you can't hold yourself to that rule, then just don't talk to her. Honestly, it's really not worth it.

 

[Reto]

Thanx...

Sometimes I just need a B!TCH slap back to reality !!!

 

[Reto]

I hate to revive this, but here's a new twist to my delima...

Me and my oneitis use to work out together every evening. For nearly nine months. People at the gym thought we were a couple and some even thought we were married.

Well, she's working out with her boy now. I have friends who are constantly coming up to me asking "So, how's it going?" Like they are prying for info. Before she started working out there again, they never asked. (It's the way they ask. Like it a sympathetic question). I'm my usual self, and respond "great, how's it going with you?"

It's awkward. Everyone knew we were friends. Now we don't talk. How do I deal with this?

I guess I'm just venting...I'm gonna keep going on the way I am. Just ignore her...

Fuk that psycho biotch !!!!!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Reto
Well, she's working out with her boy now. I have friends who are constantly coming up to me asking "So, how's it going?" Like they are prying for info. Before she started working out there again, they never asked. (It's the way they ask. Like it a sympathetic question). I'm my usual self, and respond "great, how's it going with you?"

It's awkward. Everyone knew we were friends. Now we don't talk. How do I deal with this?

Keep doing what you're doing. F**k what other people think...you're doing fine and so is she.

You know, you don't have to "not talk to her" just because you're exes...although it's probably better not to if you still have feelings for her that you don't know if you can control.