One piece of wisdom from my boss that applies here...

[Mr. Goods]

Perception can trump reality.

This week, I met with one of my superiors to go over a project I completed. The project turned out very well, but he still wanted to talk to me (usually, he never needs to). He says I remind him of himself years ago, and that's a good thing because he has been at the company for 15 years (I am in a 6-month trial period at the moment). However, he also said that 15 years ago, his superior gave him the same speech he was about to give me. The reason he is telling me this is because he would only bring it up to someone who has the ability to succeed here.

His points:
-Perception carries more weight than you think, and that applies to anywhere. While I usually possess a good attitude, there are some flashes where you can tell I have a chip on my shoulder. I will push any and all of my ideas until I am told "No!". This works twofold, as my pushiness has made something out of nothing numerous times.
-This perception of being a little aggressive may lead people to think I am tough to work with, when in fact, the opposite is true. My supervisor knows this. He says he's worked with me before and he knows I do a good job. I'll even take on more of a workload to help out a co-worker if they are swamped.
-Despite the positives of the reality, the "perception" could engulf the positives and cast me more negatively than I though. His basic advice for me was to simply keep this in mind (calm down a little bit). I am not a hothead at all - and people who know me know this, but the aggressiveness with my work could make it seem that way.

Anyway, back to the topic. For us here on the forum, perception could trump reality when it comes to women as well. If one girl things negatively of you for any random reason, and she tells her friends, they are going to think negatively of you as well, no matter what you do.

Thoughts?

 

[PapiChulo]

Yes, that's until one decides to see it for what it really is, and it's seldom the majority. Smoke and mirrors, sir.

 

[mahoney]

of course perception trumps reality - life is something which is experienced and filtered through the senses

the person who thinks they are objective or logical about any of this stuff is rarely likely to be so (and many problems stem from this fact - dude thinking they are rational and straightforward when they really, really aren't)

really have to lol at suggestion that girls are subjective and dudes see things how they really are. so many dudes are so histrionic and melodramatic and the best part is they really can't see it

 

[Mike32ct]

Great post. Perception is huge.

 

[bigneil]

The expression is: "Perception IS reality".

It's true too. That's why one little mess-up can ruin a seduction. They suddenly perceive you as someone else.

 

[sinnerman]

every person's perception is his/her own reality.

so yes perception trumps reality. if a gal finds you high value for some reason(being a challenge, not showing enough care, etc) then that's her perception of you - that you're someone she needs to win over even though in reality you might not be that high value(don't have a good job,not interesting enough/good looking)

on the other hand say you've a good paying job, social status, good looks(the reality) and yet for some reason the girl doesn't see a future with you then her perception of you will be of an AFC who takes care of her, is a nice gent but still she needs to draw distance and move on.

Reality doesn't play a role in the game of emotions.