One Ounce of Desperation Can Kill a Gallon of Suave

[INXS]

Here is a story I thought I would share to remind newbies of something they need to TOTALLY grasp!

That is the fact that once a man shows even a slight bit of desperation it can overpower the woman's first interest she had in the guy. Here is a story to prove the point.

I was suave. I busted this woman's balls and used ****y/funny technique on her from the first meeting. I treated her with rapport. She loved it. I got her number. It worked. I called her the next day, made plans for a few days later, giving the usual bit of "I'm busy ____ and ____ but I'm free ___." (You know to sound like I have a life.)

The first date, I continued being suave and that lead to a second date. (And lots of heat between us on both the dates. Kissing. Playing. Generally have fun together and enjoying each other's company. Anyone watching us would have thought we were TOTALLY into each other.) The second date I continued being suave, and got the same results for most part of the date, but then seeing as I was new to this whole world, I let my "romantic" and "wussy/overblown romantic" former self make a cameo. To put it nicely, she wasn't impressed. She went from wanting to spend LOTS of time with me to kind of pushing me away.

So what did everyone learn from Mr. Inxs today? Hopefully that one ounce of desperation can kill a gallon of Suave.

Remember...don't let that romantic/overblown/wussy/needy guy make a cameo on ANY date with an attractive woman.

 

[BuckwildNYC]

What exactly did you do?

 

[resilient]

I don't think there was anything wrong with showing some of your romantic side. Girls need to be charmed too, because C+F can only last so long without building comfort in relating... If you fed her flowers, poetry, or e-cards of chocolate candy then I can see that as a bad sign or any other I LOVE YOU diahrea.

 

[INXS]

What exactly did you do?

Well I'm not very proud of it, and it was early on in my "Suave School" days but...

I out of the blue got this desire to stop being ****y and funny and just let things happen.

Beyond that, I appeared desperate for her to want to make plans with me again. I wouldn't late a date or convo end without me wanting to have some form of plans with her.

I shifted the focus from bettering myself and my "game" to how amazing she became to me. And once she caught wind of this, not only did she want me out of the picture FAST, she caught on to how great I thought she was and used it against me to kind of walk on me, and treat me like you woud an annoying fly on your wall.

 

[Krang!]

Ouch - well, I dont think its wrong per se to show your romantic and soft side. It will even work in your favour if it's something you are not generous with, letting your romantic side be something she has to work to see. But you have to keep the other parts of your suaveness intact!

Strength, Confidence and Integrity
Humour and ****yness
And every now and then a little Tenderness :flowers:

I think your mistake was in acting desperate and letting her boss you around - that is not the same as being romantic.