"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

One of the world's greatest mysteries

flyinshark

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Many a man have tried solving this mystery. Some have died in the process, while some died without ever knowing the answer. We ask ourselves this question as teenagers and often as we become adults. I am of course talking about the famous question of

Why the hell girls go to the bathroom in packs?
What do they do in there, for gods sakes?
Are they hiding something from us (men)?

Alright that was 3 questions. But all are equally important.

Some speculate that they go in there and talk behind our backs, while applying lots of make up, so as to have an excuse for the time it took them.

When asked WHAT in hell did they do in the bathroom TOGETHER, they usually laugh or smile, and they simply refuse to talk!

Legends say that some women were put under torture so that they would reveal their secret, but to no avail. So the question remains, what the heck do they do in that mysterious place?

They seem to be sneaky creatures, for keeping such a big secret from us. So, let's all sit around this virtual table, drink some skotch (or milk for the AFC's) like men, and let's discuss this phenomenon.

Yes! We have someone who wishes to speak...go ahead mate! Let's listen carefully...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Zhen

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are you retarded...

they go to the bathroom to play battlesh|t like in harold and kumar,

the more the merrier
 

Zhen

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but seriously,

you shouldn't care, but they go in there to have their little girl talks
 

flyinshark

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Ok, battleshyt is one possibility. Thanks for your input. Very plausible indeed :whistle:

Let's have another one!
Yes, yes you! Tell me what you think.

Edit: Zhen, you are on fire. Two suggestions already. Thanks!:D I feel like we are getting somewhere.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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flyinshark

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AHA! Lesbian Orgies! Now that would explain some things! Ah, women, those dirty creatures, they only think about sex! Sheesh..

Ok, not everybody in the same time with the suggestions now.. You, sir, what do you think?
 

jprjrjr

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Originally posted by GodsGiftToWomen
This is why people here are bad with woman.

They discuss stupid shyt..

Stupid shyt? You try to seduce women with some stupid jedi mind trick LOLOLOLOLOLOL:crackup:
 

flyinshark

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[serious] Ahem, guys. Show that you have a sense of humor and play the game, or else get out of the room. [/serious]

We are discussing some very important topics in here, and the mystery of why women go to the bathroom in packs is ready to be cracked. We cannot stop now! We are so close. Please gentlemen, continue with the speculations.

What really happens in those bathrooms?
 

Sloopy

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Hmmm - after much consideration and good points raised by both Zhen and Life-Trainee, I am ready to speak.

*ehem* If I may have the floor please - excuse me, please le - GENLTEMEN!!!

Thank you.

Now as I was saying, let's take a look at what we've got here.

1. Women travel in packs
2. They need to discuss things with their girlfriends before acting on them
3. They have to look pretty so they put on make-up
4. They love pretending like they've got something you don't.

So my final decision is...compensation!

Women go to the bathroom in packs to compensate for all the stuff men can do in their head.

What do you think, Gentlemen?

~Sloopy
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

flyinshark

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Mr. Sloppy, your intervention was great, and so was your point of view. Every gentleman at the table was nodding his head while you so eloquently spoke. I am looking forward for more gentlemen to step up and expose their theory.

I grant you, Sir Sloppy, with a 1-year membership to our discussion table. This guarantees you a seat, no matter what. We'll kick someone out if we have to, just so that you have your place.

Ok, who wants to go next? The skotch bottle is almost empty, which should allow you to express yourselves with more ease, so let it all out.
 

escobar04

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or maybe......to find out the answer for this particular mystery, us men, might have to go to bathrooms as packs too

just maybe, we will find out whats really going on behind the scenes the minute a pack of guys goes into a bathroom

juuuust maybe, the bathroom turns into a magical lounge with air hockey, a foozball table, video games, strippers, pool, beer, snacks, and blunts
 

flyinshark

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So maybe women's bathrooms become whole new places where women can spend a great time and feel...well...like women! Very thought provoking, yet not.

Although that seems very cool for a special effect in a movie, it can't cut it into the plausible things that happen in the girls' bathrooms. Thanks for trying though:)

I see most men just came in the room for the free skotch..tsk tsk... Most are now under the table, drunk, and snorring, while the mystery is still unsolved. Gentlemen, you sadden me.

*goes to sleep*
 

Black_Italian

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I know the secret. Inside every female bathroom in the world there’s a rift that takes you to another dimension. Now you can spend 10 years in that dimension but only 10 min will pass on our world.

How do you get there?

Steps:
1) You walk into the bathroom and you always have to head straight for the cubicle furthest from the door.

2) Once inside lock the door.

3) Then you must put the lid down and flush the toilet twice. You then put the lid back up stick your hand into the toilet al flush it 6 times.

4) You will a bright pulsing light and you will be transported to this other world.

What you will see?

It is a world were everything is pink and purple. There are fairies flying everywhere and there are constant reruns or Desperate housewives. There will be 1 000 000s of men all naked or semi naked some carrying platters full of chocolates. They will all penises that area minimum of 10 inches long; they will have constant erections and washboard abs.

Dangers!!
Be careful because the second you get there all the naked men with washboard abs and 10 inch penises will grab you and have sex with you. The only way I kept my anal virginity there was because of my great Ninja skills.

Now you see why women always go to the bathroom.

Ninja out
 

flyinshark

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Wow, ninja man, that was a very ... spectacular!

Today, after dressing like a woman to the best of my ability, i sneaked in the women's washroom and i attempted the secret code you mentioned. Furthest cubical, flush twice, stick hand in toilet and then flush 6 times. I then saw the pulsating light : someone opened the door and closed it right back, hence a pulsating light.

Then, as i was about to exit the cubical in shame, i didn't find the bathroom on the other side of the door! I found, the other dimension! The legend of the ninja is true, folks.

In there, i saw a man wearing pink and he handed me a pink umbrella. Just when i was about to take it, he dropped it to the ground and waited for me to bend and pick it up. But thanks to Ninja's advice, i didn't expose my derriere to the man in pink, hence avoiding a catastrophy.

The rest was as he described. Many men with chocolates, 10 inch+ penises and they were all banging the women that were coming in. Occasionally, they would also have sex with some unsuspecting man that clearly got in there by mistake. Funny stuff to see the look on their faces, haha.

Mizter6, i looked for Boso the clown in the ladies' bathroom and i was told that he took a day off. I know, sad indeed...

Well, sirs, the greatest mystery has been solved it seems. All thanks to the brave men who stepped up and helped in this great cause. Special thanks to Ninja, who bravely stepped into the women's bathroom and discovered their secret from the inside out.

What an adventure!!:woo:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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diplomatic_lies

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I'm reminded of this crazy date I went on. It was a double date.

All 4 of us sat at a table. The two girls went into the bathroom. When they came out, my date was glaring at me. The other chick glared at her boyfriend.

Bit of info exchange, eh?
 
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