One of the most important posts ever!

nednaw

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#21
Turning the tables

One thing I find works very well in this situation. Before you do anything STOP and THINK. Turn the tables and think what it would mean to you if a girl you just met called you 10 times a day. How would you feel if she insisted on buying everything, opening doors for you, wanting to be with you every minute. How would you feel if some average girl told you she loved you after the first date?

That right, you'd think PSYCHO! or BUNNY BOILER right? It would make you want to run away. You would think you have got someone way below your station. You'd wonder what was wrong with her.

Well guys, that’s EXACTLY what she thinks of you when you do these things.

Do yourself a favour and TRUN THE TABLES when you’re thinking about doing something for her. Think how you would feel if some random girl did that for you. Would you be impressed? Probably not. In fact it would make you devalue her. You would think she is cheap and desperate wouldn't you?

Now am I right that this is UNATTRACTIVE behaviour?

Ok, now we have cleared that up lets move on to something more interesting.

So you’ve met this girl, you think she’s ok, but then you get that all too familiar ‘I’m falling for her’, ‘I need to be with her’, ‘She’s exactly what I’m looking for’ feeling. STOP this nonsense, wake up and grow up. Lean back and take it easy. Concentrate on how she is being with you. Don’t call, be patient and wait. When she calls cut the conversation short, ‘Sorry babes, the boys have just turned up, I have to go’. If she asks you on a date agree but make sure the first three days she suggests you’re busy with your mates or something. Be cool, lean back. Turn the tables.

Read the posts in this group and ask yourself this. What is it that's turning these guys from liking a girl into being infatuated by them?

That’s right, all of the girls mentioned showed a little interest and then backed off, didn’t return calls, sent very mixed signals. It makes you want them more when you don’t think you can have them doesn’t it. It’s even worse when you think you might have them then they pull away. It makes you feel like your not good enough doesn't it. Well my friend you are and in most cases your better. DON'T EVER FORGET THAT.

Now do as I say and turn the tables. Be elusive, challenging, hard to get hold of, socially busy. I promise you, she will become infatuated with you. You will retain the power, you will call the shots and yes my friend she will do anything you want!
 

hui

Don Juan
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#22
--- Anonymous's Original Question ---
Hi,
This is the second time I am asking for advice and this text differs from the last one.
I live in a hostel where the all the comps are conneted through LAN.On Saturday I invited a girl over my place around 1 o'clock in the night.Incidently it turned out that she new me and that's why she agreed to come over.Then we started talking and all of a sudden I leaped onto her and tried kissing her(bymistake I asked can kiss you)and she replied and asked what are you doing.Son I couldn't kiss her, it was an odd moment for both of us.But then said that I've been looking for her in the LAN for quiet a long time and I am crazy over her also I asked if she's got a boyfriend.We talked for some more time afterthat and agreed to meet on tueday evening.The next day I didn't go for job and asked her if can meet.In the evening we she came over with a chocolate for me as a gift.While watching a movie I tried to kiss her and did too but then said I'll miss the the film.I stopped then again I tried...this continued a couple of times.Then after the movie I again started kissing her,then she gave in and did kiss back even I got to see her boobs :))although not completely but 10 minutes after the movie got over she said she's got to go to her girl-friend but we agreed to meet on Wednesday.The same night I called her up but she didn't answer the next day I wrote her an SMS but no reply.Only on tuesday I got an answer.Then on Wednesday she didn't turn up....I called her 4 times but there was no reply then I sent her a SMS speaking out my mind and told her not to reply back.
But 3 days later when I called back she replied and cameover for about 15 minutes.And we again agreed to meet the next day.she did come but only for about 40 minutes.and this time I controlled my-self and kissed her on the cheeks at the end.
I asked her if we could meet the next day cause her classes were getting over early and didn't have go on Job too.But she repied that she wanted to move around her girl friends but if finds time we could meet and I agreed to her.
before going out she called me on the LAN but I was sleeping as soon as I woke up I called her.After coming back too she back but it was preety late and I was sleeping.
The next day I called back but she didn't answer,then I SMSed her explaining saing I had a headache.but no reply.In the evening again I called her,although she was at home she said that she was at her friends place(far away)and when she comes back she will come over. I waited the whole night.Then decided to go to her around 1 o'clock in the night.But no one opened the door.And she didn't even answer to my call.
please explain what did I do wrong or is there something wrong with her? I am completely nuts over her and am even ready to get married.
I have lot of times called her out to theaters or movies during the day-time (as in nights it's dangereous out side because of the skinheads)but she's telling that she is busy.But goes out with almost everybody else.
PS: I 21 years old and still a virgin and don't want to tell her that.I am good looking but have a huge preoblem when it comes to women.And I am from Russia but not a Russian.
Please help! ............
.............everybody has advised me to chill out and take things slow and so I decided not to call her and wait for her to call me back. Already 3 days have passed and I don't see any signs.......She lives just 2 floors away from me and feel like going over to her but am tring to act cool.
THE SECOND TIME WHEN SHE CAME I REALLY ACTED COOL AND DIDN'T TRY TO KISS HER.
AND WHAT TO DO IF I ACCIDENTLY MEET HER(AS WE LIVE ONLY 2 FLOORS AWAY).OR SHOULD I GO TO HER?
Please suggest some Ideas to win her back and not turn out as a fool!
 

yake

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2006
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#23
Great thread! I think it is important for a guy to get infatuated at least once, so he knows the feeling and can avoid it early on.
I did it twice, without actually getting ANY positive responses from the girls. But since then, I had a great vacation flirt with one girl, and am working on another one now, without getting infatuated.
Avoid oneitis, that's the key!
 

thedude4242

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 7, 2009
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#25
anti-dump good stuff on the number thing. it doesnt mean much anymore. I see a lot of guys get happy and think they are gonna get something when really they are fools. I have seen some of his posts. can anti-dump right a another good article or come out with his own DJ bible called the AD bible. you got any articles in the dj bible?
 

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ENIGMA16

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
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#26
When my first real relationship (and first "true love") broke up with me after 2 1/2 years I became pretty much just as pathetic. You live and learn. If only I would've found this site years ago...

In fact, I made a livejournal about it and wrote down like everything on this other forum. I could post it all here but that'd be way too embarassing haha
 
Joined
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#28
Pook said:
Hidden, thanks for sharing with all the details. I know that took an effort to write and its hard looking back at such a bad time when all you want to do is forget about it and move on.

I'm finding myself in a *similiar* situation. The girl was hitting on me very very hard, yet I turned her down (haha!). But I admit, I was very very flattered (what bigger boost is there to the ego then a chick hitting on you HARD?). We've been playing lots of phone tag. I've noticed that infatuation has creeped up on me.

Most guys on this forum are (or were) nice guys. SPOT INFATUATION AS SOON AS IT BEGINS. It is important to SEE infatuation before you mistake it as 'love'. This is what makes puppies out of nice guys.

I'm willing to walk away at the drop of the hat. I know she's not worth it. But I'll play along for now, let the clock tick, and see what happens. Women seem to be very patient and letting the clock tick is one of the best things I've found so far.

Anti-Dump is semi-right that a women will not find it interesting if *she* initiates the date/meeting/etc. But the woman wouldn't initiate it if she didn't want it.

But that brings us to a contradiction. After all, wouldn't WE find it boring to initiate a date/meeting/etc.? Of course, this isn't true. So if men do not get bored with initiating a date/meeting/etc. then why would a woman? I think Anti-Dump has missed something here.

Women use sex to get relationships; men use relationships to get sex. That is how the sexes are wired. The latter demands reproduction, the former demands nurturing. Both are essential to the continuance of the species.

If you were to find out that the woman you were dating was a slut and *easy*, you would quickly stop dating her. (unless you planned to 'use' her, but that's a whole different story)

Now let's say you are female. You find out that the guy you were dating is *easy* emotionally and becomes instantly infatuated with you (i.e. NICE GUY). You would quickly stop dating him (unless you planned to 'use' him and milk him of his money, etc. but that's also a whole different story).

Just because a woman INITIATES the contact doesn't mean its uninteresting to her (hell, she wants it to happen or else why go through the trouble?). What is important to remember that us guys would take that initialization of contact and turn it into infatuation ("Whoa! She's asking me out! Man, I'm killer stuff! She must really like me!).

The reaction is that we guys become flattered and become very easy emotionally for them. The point is not that the initialization done by the woman that makes the man uninteresting, but the man surrenduring emotionally to the women that initiates it.

Any thoughts on this?
100% agree here. Flattery, and especially the flattery of being pursued by a girl, even one you might not entirely have though to puruse on your own, can be the death knell for the requisite aloofness of maintaining attraction. Surprisingly powerful when you've never experienced it before to this extent.
 
Joined
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#30
I wouldn't know, never dated "girls", just adult women :) But I know that you youngsters are putting yourselves thru hell (and at risk) for no reason at all. That pvssy will still be around, 5, 10, 15 years from now, and you won't have died from not getting any, either. YOu'll also be many times more likely to be WORTH A FVCK if you dont waste your time and money on women while you are so young. You will get kids before you can afford them, get divorced, and the courts will RUIN your chances of being able to retire at a young age, enjoy your life, and be able to tell Big Bro, neighbors, bosses, customers, etc, to go straight to hell, if you want or need to do so. THAT is freedom, and it MUST be based upon financial independence. DECENT returns on investment START at 20% per year and are rock solid, not silly crap like stock prices.

You are NUTS to have money in single family homes, or to have more than 20% paid on the mortgage. with mortgages at a mere 4%, and inflation averaging at 5% per year (for the 40 years that I have watched prices) let the BANK (and your insurance company) do the worrying about riots, floods, fires, storms, etc, man. You want LOTS of small rooms rented out, in a downtown sort of area, where the mission, food stamp, unemployment, bus station, day labor, churches that give away food, blood plasma places can all be reached by direct bus route or bicycle. YOu want beat up old place, 30k or so, and 10k or less to fix it up fairly nice, and you want it ALREADY rented out by the room. What you do is put a partition across each room, and get 2 guys in there, charging the same money as the single tenant paid before, because YOU have old desktop computer, wifi Net, small fridge, microwave, and tv in there, all of them inside wire mesh cages, , all of them checked upon DAILY by your (lives there) managing couple. A pair of retirees, on SS or Military pension, disability, etc. you pay them free room and utilities, and maybe $100 a week (cash) and if you don't live where you can check on them yourself, once a week, you pay a management company to do so. you can make 50% returns per year, with such a setup. so every 2 years, you can have twice as many such houses. In a very few years, you can be making huge amounts of money.
 
Joined
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#31
One thing that needs to be added to this post is that WHEN THOSE TABLES TURN IN YOUR FAVOR

You will ultimately become bored with that woman who is showing you affection.

You should NOT forget where you were and who you were before the TABLES TURNED. If you decide to dump her out of boredom, or cheat TURN THE TABLES and put yourself in her shoes. How would you have felt if the object of your affection grew bored with you and decided to secretly cheat. You would be devastated.

With great power comes even greater responsibility.
 
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#33
I swear, I feel like I may have personally known Pook (for 3 years mind you!) but just didn't realize it up until now. From what I know about this guy and Pook, they are pretty much the same. Though I could be completely wrong and am just being stupid, but there are some 'ways of the Don Juan' if you will that this dude expresses (almost in a convoluted and rehearsed way though).

Whatever.
 
Joined
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#34
I used to work with a guy when I worked for the State of Illinois from 00-07 who was based out of the Chicago area. I have often wondered if he was Pook. Some of the things he said when we drank together on 4-5 different occasions match some of Pook's materials. He is the guy who told me to get on this site so I know he was here at one time. Either he read Pook's stuff on here or he is Pook. Does anyone know where Pook was from?
 
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