One of the best articles on NPD I've read

[btownbuck2012]

http://www.narcissistsbite.com/what-is-a-narcissist.html

watch the f*ck out for women like this.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Good article, and so true. But the FAKERS of this forum will show up here, tell you it's all you and this was all "low interest level". This is all a covert assertion by these FAKERS that, "I don't come across these women, because they all have high interest in me." It's a brag disguised as constructive criticism towards you.

These women do exist. And the FAKERS will also tell you that "90% of the guys here who complain about Cluster B are making it up" - once again failing to understand that this site is DESIGNED for guys who've been with a predatory female, so it's like being surprised that 90% of the people at AA are alcoholics, because 10% of the general population are alcoholics...

 

[btownbuck2012]

Good article, and so true. But the FAKERS of this forum will show up here, tell you it's all you and this was all "low interest level". This is all a covert assertion by these FAKERS that, "I don't come across these women, because they all have high interest in me." It's a brag disguised as constructive criticism towards you.

These women do exist. And the FAKERS will also tell you that "90% of the guys here who complain about Cluster B are making it up" - once again failing to understand that this site is DESIGNED for guys who've been with a predatory female, so it's like being surprised that 90% of the people at AA are alcoholics, because 10% of the general population are alcoholics...

Yeah man. That's what is so insidious about these women is that very little information is available online or even in therapist's offices about the damage they cause. When one of them "bites" you, you feel alone in regards to anyone else being able to understand. So I can definitely see why a-lot of guys on this forum would shout "low interest level" and you were "too beta", but even despite that I wouldn't wish any of them to go through the hell that is encountering one of these women.

I don't know about you but one of the things that got me through my experience was reading all the archived posts from KontrollerX and Jophil28 on this site about women with personality disorders, just an absolute goldmine of valuable information. It was only when I started reading their posts that I slowly began to realize that I wasn't crazy.

 

[bigneil]

How can a person care so much about a girl that they would delve this deeply into her bad behavior?

Sure, all girls exhibit some bad behavior, but there should be mostly good behavior, thus distracting you from any attempt to overanalyze. It requires oneitis to prove a woman has NPD.

Only a narcissist would attempt to prove their ex was a narcissist.

 

[btownbuck2012]

How can a person care so much about a girl that they would delve this deeply into her bad behavior?

Sure, all girls exhibit some bad behavior, but there should be mostly good behavior, thus distracting you from any attempt to overanalyze. It requires oneitis to prove a woman has NPD.

Only a narcissist would attempt to prove their ex was a narcissist.

No dude. I'm trying to learn from my previous mistakes and thus help others potentially not have to go through them.

Chill.

 

[bigneil]

This is the same as the BPD argument: "She didn't want only me so she must be INSANE!"

 

[BlueAlpha1]

No dude. I'm trying to learn from my previous mistakes and thus help others potentially not have to go through them.

Chill.

It's what the dude does - him and a handful of others. Remember when I was talking about the FAKERS? He found this thread within MINUTES just like all the Cluster B threads, to proclaim to the world that he's never met a woman like this. His agenda is they all have such sky high interest that even if they had a mental disorder they'd put it aside for him. It's the same recycled braggadocious idiocy in every Cluster B thread.

The guy whose "dated" 30 strippers never had one with a personality disorder. Sure. Now rest assured he's gonna see this post, fly into a fit of rage, and try to engage me in a thread 36 pages long of insults.

 

[resilient]

I thought one of the ending paragraphs in the article was an excellent coping mechanism for dealing with NPD:

Neutrality and/or indifference are a death kiss to a narcissist, simply because there is no narcissistic supply [drama/feels] to be had from it.​

 

[resilient]

Hey @btownbuck2012, I figure you would like this article for the sake of discussion on NPD:

Perhaps the most important message from our studies is that when it comes to their group image collective narcissists have no sense of humor, no distance and no compassion. They feel insulted by action and situations that fall beyond a common definition of insult. Source: http://www.psypost.org/2017/02/coll...cts-hypersensitivity-insult-study-finds-47532​

 

[btownbuck2012]

Hey @btownbuck2012, I figure you would like this article for the sake of discussion on NPD:

Perhaps the most important message from our studies is that when it comes to their group image collective narcissists have no sense of humor, no distance and no compassion. They feel insulted by action and situations that fall beyond a common definition of insult. Source: http://www.psypost.org/2017/02/coll...cts-hypersensitivity-insult-study-finds-47532​

Thanks for sharing. So if I understood that correctly they are trying to show the consequences an individual narcissist would have at the group level? I was a bit confused, what was your take?

The part about perceiving themselves as better than the rest of us is something I experienced with this girl I dated. It's funny, she has lived in NYC since she was 3 years old, she's now 27 and still lives at home with Mom. I on the other hand was born and raised in Indiana, moved out here by myself, pay my own rent and have a good job...yet when she left me I was the one who needed to learn how to be "independent", according to her.

 

[resilient]

Yeah.. all the group talk in that article was a little confusing, but the bolded parts do make sense in terms of how they just don't feel empathy for others. They're extremely sensitive to criticism. Humor, in a sense that some or most things can be funny to them, except when it comes to making fun of her, then it's clearly disrespect viewed as a deep insult.

NPDs are often hypocritical in nature. "You should do this, you should do that (but don't expect me to follow the own advice I get give you)." Like how you said your g/f told you to be more independent, but there she was living with her mom comfortably at 27.

 

[bigneil]

It's what the dude does - him and a handful of others. Remember when I was talking about the FAKERS? He found this thread within MINUTES just like all the Cluster B threads, to proclaim to the world that he's never met a woman like this. His agenda is they all have such sky high interest that even if they had a mental disorder they'd put it aside for him. It's the same recycled braggadocious idiocy in every Cluster B thread.

The guy whose "dated" 30 strippers never had one with a personality disorder. Sure. Now rest assured he's gonna see this post, fly into a fit of rage, and try to engage me in a thread 36 pages long of insults.

That's your evidence of my being a faker? Not an argument. Oh, wait, it's Friday, time for me to send out 3 invoices of $3200, $3400 and $3400 again.

Take it from BlueAlpha - the guy who hates Corey Wayne and says he's a faker also.

But he's right about one thing: I've dated 30 strippers. I've admitted Oneitis, I've admitted getting bounced from the club, I've admitted some of them slept with other men, but I never once whined that any of them were too crazy to date me.

 

[MrAddiction]

I just think the typical game stuff covers this. Don't see any need to give them too much attention, or keep living in the past.

It is not that easy I think. It is a question of how game aware you are and what is your goal of the game. I know from all what I read you are very well game aware and and have come to the conclusion that the game and the market are not worth an LTR. Right. But there are people who want a LTR.
And there are high functioning Cluster Bs which are not easy to spot. Especially this ones do cause trouble only further on in the relationship- can I say a stage, that you at least do not want to reach?
The other thing is right: if you play the game and next at the slightest red flag, you will sort out these nutjobs. But in a market ourdays there are nearly any girls without red flags. Thats what cause people like you and me to decide a LTR is not worth it. But guys who want a LTR have to put up with red flags to some degree. And that is where the misery starts.

But one point of the Game is spot on. It is Tomassis iron rule number 7. Never go back with an ex.
If that would be payed more attention to - and I am guilty to actively ignoring that - no rebound with a Cluster B would take place.

So yes, game can help but not protect you of a Cluster B(itch)

 

[playa99]

This is a great article. It summarizes my Gran to a tee. She literally lives in her own world. I got close to her after my Grandad's passing a couple of years ago and got bitten on a regular basis.

I can't control what she is going to do. She is how she is. I have begun to understand what she is & why she is this way. I can't change it, but I can control my reaction to her behavior.

 

[btownbuck2012]

You care first, then they do the bad behavior

Yeah that's what guys on this site don't understand. Essentially what happens is you have a FWB type situation with these women because deep down in your gut you don't f*cking trust them. They on the other hand are very sweet and over accommodating and act perfect in every way however you STILL know something is not right, but because the act they are putting on is so strong you don't dump them. Eventually they get distant and you ask them why to which they respond "You don't treat me like I'm your girlfriend. You act like we're f*ck buddies.".

You feel bad and start acting like her bf, which is what you've wanted the whole time; you were essentially waiting for her to ask about exclusivity so you could start caring more than just treating her as a booty call EVEN THOUGH there is still something in your gut that is telling you to back off, and trying to establish a deeper connection with her only to find out she's a wh0re. You're hurt and shocked by this and when you ask her what the hell is going on you're made to feel as if you're insane, needy, weak and care too much.

THEN you start analyzing what happened. It's not as if when we meet these women they act like the trash they truly are and we're on this site trying to figure out what's going on after only knowing them for a few weeks/months. It's only after trust and significant bonding has occurred, at least on your end, that they pull the rug out. And make no mistake about it, they WILL WAIT YOU OUT. I'm convinced that if you're a player type of guy who doesn't get too caught up with any one woman this crap can last for a long time before they will ever show their true hand. It's diabolical. Again, it all has to do with when they sense you want something deeper.

I will never again ignore that gut feeling as long as I live, I don't care how good everything else is.

 

[btownbuck2012]

This is a great article. It summarizes my Gran to a tee. She literally lives in her own world. I got close to her after my Grandad's passing a couple of years ago and got bitten on a regular basis.

I can't control what she is going to do. She is how she is. I have begun to understand what she is & why she is this way. I can't change it, but I can control my reaction to her behavior.

How did your Grandpa deal with it? What was that relationship like?

 

[playa99]

How did your Grandpa deal with it? What was that relationship like?

They were married for 50 years.

My Grandad's life was a misery from the outside looking in. He & my Gran lived in complete isolation for as long as I can remember. I don't actually know how he felt about it. My Dad asked him why he puts up with the grief once and he wouldn't answer.

I think my Grans behavior became normal to him. He was controlling in some ways and her isolating herself suited that. I know she had some form of breakdown in her 40's & likely has a variance of a mental health disorder.

He mitigated the impact of her negative behavior & she would belittle him in front of me & my Dad. She fell out with every single person around her & he went along with that.

My Dad's side of the family exists, but I only know my Dad & Gran.

Being honest, most of the major betrayals in my life have come from my Gran & Grandad. This is despite them being a relatively small aspect of my life.

I used to take it personally, but I have realized that she will do this to anyone who comes into her life.

She rang me today actually, complaining about some trivial issue, trying to play mind games so I would pander to her.

 

[LX12]

Btown I must say it is completely shocking how similiar your experience with your NPD mirrors mine. This is exactly what went down with my situation. It's almost as if it was a blueprint. I do believe this chick was of the covert variety though. I knew something was off but I just couldn't put my finger on it. The lack of empathy, mirroring, entitlement etc. it's almost as if they are reptilian.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Btown I must say it is completely shocking how similiar your experience with your NPD mirrors mine. This is exactly what went down with my situation. It's almost as if it was a blueprint. I do believe this chick was of the covert variety though. I knew something was off but I just couldn't put my finger on it. The lack of empathy, mirroring, entitlement etc. it's almost as if they are reptilian.

Yeah, that's honestly where the real healing and understanding began for me was reading so many other stories online from guys that tangled with a cluster b woman and it was like I was reading a spot on description of what I went through. Do a search for posts on this site from a while back from JOPHIL28 and KontrollerX. Go to Google search and literally type in "Jophil28" AND "Cluster B" and just start reading. Also, check this site out http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/

 

[LX12]

Thanks brother! I appreciate that. I can connect with most women but this was just something that was beyond anything I've ever experienced and I've been to a lot of rodeos. This was dark triad and very diabolical. I'll be doing some reading tonight.