One of Life's Little Surprises

[Desdinova]

I popped out of hiding to tell you guys a little story...

Back when I was 18, I was trying to date this girl named R. We were both interested in each other, and I wanted to take things outside of the school walls. I asked for her number and she willingly gave it to me. However, I'd find out that those digits were completely fvcking useless...

Everytime I called her, I'd get one of her parents. Usually her mom would answer and would tell me that I was NOT allowed to talk to R. One time I got her dad who invited me over so he could beat the 5hit out of me. What a nice guy. At school, I would ask R about all this c0ckblocking and she wouldn't really give me an answer and just wanted me to forget about it. I gave her my number so she could call me when it was convenient for her. She never fvcking called once.

Summer came along and I spent the first month occasionally trying to call her and would always slam into the parental wall. By the time the end of July had come around, I was at the point where I said, "fvck it, I'm not putting in the effort anymore" and quit calling her.

When we came back to school in the fall, I ran into her in the hallway and asked her how her summer was. She said, "It was okay, but I gotta go". From that day, I decided to never speak to her again and eventually found myself dating the girl who would eventually drive me to this site.

Yesterday (26 years later), I attended her 43rd birthday party. YES, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. Here's how that came about...

When I was still single a few years back, I managed to get myself into a circle of friends. I'd meet someone, then meet one of their friends, and before you know it I'm a permanent fixture in this group of people. They find me absolutely fascinating. When I'm not around them, they talk about me, watch my youtube videos, and all kinds of other positive stuff. Well, guess who I discovered also belonged in this group of friends? Yes, that bytch R who decided to reject me.

In the early days of this friendship circle, I would be invited to gatherings through Facebook and I'd alway show up. R would also be invited but she would always find some lame ass excuse to avoid coming. I suspected she was avoiding these gatherings solely because of me, so I decided to do an experiment... When I got invited to the next event, I blocked her on Facebook so she couldn't see my invite. When I got to the event, I unblocked her. Lo and behold, she showed up 30 minutes later. I made sure to be one of the loudest, funniest, most entertaining people there, and I fvcking ignored her stupid ass the whole evening.

Yesterday, she had a shared birthday party with one of the people from the friendship circle. I was invited by R's friend, so of course I'm gonna show up. I completely expected R to cancel at the last minute but surprisingly she didn't. She brought absolutely nobody to the gathering that I didn't already know. In other words, all of her best friends are also MY friends. She had to spend the entire evening listening to me humorously banter with them, and then she had to listen to them all talk about all the cool 5hit that I do.

We still haven't exchanged words. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what her problem is. Is it my presence alone? Is it the fact that I bring my GF who's younger than her? Is it the fact that she missed the bus on having a cool guy in her life? I have no clue, but I'm not going to overthink it.

The best thing about all of this is, I didn't have to do squat to get revenge on her. It just happened all on it's own.

Happy fvcking birthday, R

 

[SW15]

Yesterday (26 years later), I attended her 43rd birthday party. YES, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. Here's how that came about...

The story is fuccking awesome. Thanks for sharing! This is something I'll never experience due to my frequent relocations earlier in life.

Happy fvcking birthday, R

Happy fuccking birthday!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is she still hot or does she look like 200 lbs of chewed bubble gum now?

 

[Desdinova]

Is she still hot or does she look like 200 lbs of chewed bubble gum now?

She is thoroughly average but she's separated with two kids. What good man in their right mind would want that?

 

[member160292]

Let bygones be bygones. We've all made mistakes, we've all did sh!t like R. Sometimes it's best to not put in effort of doing right and let what happened in the past be.

 

[Desdinova]

Let bygones be bygones. We've all made mistakes, we've all did sh!t like R. Sometimes it's best to not put in effort of doing right and let what happened in the past be.

I agree 100% and I'd have no problem interacting with her. I don't think she feels the same way though

 

[Aristippus]

Yeah. I agree with chowda. Just let it go. Sometimes the best revenge is to let go of the need for revenge. 18 yrs old is like a past life. People change. Some people get their a$$ kicked by life and are just trudging along.

The funny thing is that people's motivations can be varied and there's no need to try to be a mind-reader. A book I'm really enjoying now is called Uncommon Therapy. It covers a lot of cases of Milton Erickson dealing with families and individuals and their interactions and motivations. Some of which are ordinary and others which are downright bizarre. Typically any normal or even bizarre or unusual behavior has a positive intent behind it or serves a positive function. The idea of course is to then redirect that unconscious intent to more constructive behaviors.

Examples: Agoraphobia could serve a positive function of protecting the person from something or could be the thing that holds a family together. In the case of a child who develops a problem, it could be accomplishing a goal on the unconscious level of keeping his parents from splitting up by developing a problem that they have to work together as a couple to deal with. .........
It's an interesting book if you ever care to read it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

An interesting story but why are you still emotionally invested in something that happened 26 years ago?

 

[Desdinova]

Yeah. I agree with chowda. Just let it go. Sometimes the best revenge is to let go of the need for revenge.

An interesting story but why are you still emotionally invested in something that happened 26 years ago?

You guys really don't know me very well. First of all, I don't need to get revenge. This is entirely coincidence, and it's entertaining as hell for me.

Second, I honestly couldn't give a damn about her if we didn't have all these mutual friends. She is someone from my past, and that's not going to change. I spent a lot of time and energy trying to date this chick back in the day, so how am I not going to be affected by this?

Third, I'm all about learning stuff. I have no desire to date nor fvck her. However, I'd like to figure out WTF her problem is. Was it some stupid AFC thing I did in the past? It very well could be. Is she pissed that I'm friends with every single one of her friends? Possibly. Is she still attracted to me? Maybe. Did she suddenly become re-attracted to me and doesn't know how to handle the situation? Maybe. Finding out WTF is going on just adds to my knowledge on how women function, and learning that is never a bad thing. I'm not getting any obvious signs on what's going on. The only thing she did was turn down my GF offering her bug spray.

 

[RickTheToad]

I popped out of hiding to tell you guys a little story...

Back when I was 18, I was trying to date this girl named R. We were both interested in each other, and I wanted to take things outside of the school walls. I asked for her number and she willingly gave it to me. However, I'd find out that those digits were completely fvcking useless...

Everytime I called her, I'd get one of her parents. Usually her mom would answer and would tell me that I was NOT allowed to talk to R. One time I got her dad who invited me over so he could beat the 5hit out of me. What a nice guy. At school, I would ask R about all this c0ckblocking and she wouldn't really give me an answer and just wanted me to forget about it. I gave her my number so she could call me when it was convenient for her. She never fvcking called once.

Summer came along and I spent the first month occasionally trying to call her and would always slam into the parental wall. By the time the end of July had come around, I was at the point where I said, "fvck it, I'm not putting in the effort anymore" and quit calling her.

When we came back to school in the fall, I ran into her in the hallway and asked her how her summer was. She said, "It was okay, but I gotta go". From that day, I decided to never speak to her again and eventually found myself dating the girl who would eventually drive me to this site.

Yesterday (26 years later), I attended her 43rd birthday party. YES, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. Here's how that came about...

When I was still single a few years back, I managed to get myself into a circle of friends. I'd meet someone, then meet one of their friends, and before you know it I'm a permanent fixture in this group of people. They find me absolutely fascinating. When I'm not around them, they talk about me, watch my youtube videos, and all kinds of other positive stuff. Well, guess who I discovered also belonged in this group of friends? Yes, that bytch R who decided to reject me.

In the early days of this friendship circle, I would be invited to gatherings through Facebook and I'd alway show up. R would also be invited but she would always find some lame ass excuse to avoid coming. I suspected she was avoiding these gatherings solely because of me, so I decided to do an experiment... When I got invited to the next event, I blocked her on Facebook so she couldn't see my invite. When I got to the event, I unblocked her. Lo and behold, she showed up 30 minutes later. I made sure to be one of the loudest, funniest, most entertaining people there, and I fvcking ignored her stupid ass the whole evening.

Yesterday, she had a shared birthday party with one of the people from the friendship circle. I was invited by R's friend, so of course I'm gonna show up. I completely expected R to cancel at the last minute but surprisingly she didn't. She brought absolutely nobody to the gathering that I didn't already know. In other words, all of her best friends are also MY friends. She had to spend the entire evening listening to me humorously banter with them, and then she had to listen to them all talk about all the cool 5hit that I do.

We still haven't exchanged words. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what her problem is. Is it my presence alone? Is it the fact that I bring my GF who's younger than her? Is it the fact that she missed the bus on having a cool guy in her life? I have no clue, but I'm not going to overthink it.

The best thing about all of this is, I didn't have to do squat to get revenge on her. It just happened all on it's own.

Happy fvcking birthday, R

Why do you still care? It's 26 fvcking years ago.

 

[Barrister]

Women in our childhood tend to leave a lasting impression on us. And I would consider 18 years old to still be "childhood" at this point in my life. I wouldn't have back then of course. And I am not innocent of some (bad) experiences with women really standing out for me in the 15-18 year old range of my life.

As to your story -- to be honest, it doesn't really sound like R really cares at all. If your story had ended with her asking how you had been and wanting to get a drink sometime and you slamming that door right in her face I could kind of see it being a coming full circle kind of event. But your story reads like R didn't care back then and R still doesn't care. She didn't even attempt to approach you at this joint birthday party - and her not cancelling it shouldn't be a surprise. It was a birthday party for her after all. And I have to echo the other guys -- why does it matter why she did what she did 26 years ago? Who cares.

 

[bat soup]

I popped out of hiding to tell you guys a little story...

Back when I was 18, I was trying to date this girl named R. We were both interested in each other, and I wanted to take things outside of the school walls. I asked for her number and she willingly gave it to me. However, I'd find out that those digits were completely fvcking useless...

Everytime I called her, I'd get one of her parents. Usually her mom would answer and would tell me that I was NOT allowed to talk to R. One time I got her dad who invited me over so he could beat the 5hit out of me. What a nice guy. At school, I would ask R about all this c0ckblocking and she wouldn't really give me an answer and just wanted me to forget about it. I gave her my number so she could call me when it was convenient for her. She never fvcking called once.

Summer came along and I spent the first month occasionally trying to call her and would always slam into the parental wall. By the time the end of July had come around, I was at the point where I said, "fvck it, I'm not putting in the effort anymore" and quit calling her.

When we came back to school in the fall, I ran into her in the hallway and asked her how her summer was. She said, "It was okay, but I gotta go". From that day, I decided to never speak to her again and eventually found myself dating the girl who would eventually drive me to this site.

Yesterday (26 years later), I attended her 43rd birthday party. YES, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. Here's how that came about...

When I was still single a few years back, I managed to get myself into a circle of friends. I'd meet someone, then meet one of their friends, and before you know it I'm a permanent fixture in this group of people. They find me absolutely fascinating. When I'm not around them, they talk about me, watch my youtube videos, and all kinds of other positive stuff. Well, guess who I discovered also belonged in this group of friends? Yes, that bytch R who decided to reject me.

In the early days of this friendship circle, I would be invited to gatherings through Facebook and I'd alway show up. R would also be invited but she would always find some lame ass excuse to avoid coming. I suspected she was avoiding these gatherings solely because of me, so I decided to do an experiment... When I got invited to the next event, I blocked her on Facebook so she couldn't see my invite. When I got to the event, I unblocked her. Lo and behold, she showed up 30 minutes later. I made sure to be one of the loudest, funniest, most entertaining people there, and I fvcking ignored her stupid ass the whole evening.

Yesterday, she had a shared birthday party with one of the people from the friendship circle. I was invited by R's friend, so of course I'm gonna show up. I completely expected R to cancel at the last minute but surprisingly she didn't. She brought absolutely nobody to the gathering that I didn't already know. In other words, all of her best friends are also MY friends. She had to spend the entire evening listening to me humorously banter with them, and then she had to listen to them all talk about all the cool 5hit that I do.

We still haven't exchanged words. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what her problem is. Is it my presence alone? Is it the fact that I bring my GF who's younger than her? Is it the fact that she missed the bus on having a cool guy in her life? I have no clue, but I'm not going to overthink it.

The best thing about all of this is, I didn't have to do squat to get revenge on her. It just happened all on it's own.

Happy fvcking birthday, R

God knows what goes on inside some of these women's brains. I think cookoos live in there.

 

[Desdinova]

Why do you still care? It's 26 fvcking years ago.

I will repeat... I don't really care about her as a person. I'm always wanting to know what goes on in a woman's brain because I learn something from it.

As to your story -- to be honest, it doesn't really sound like R really cares at all.

why does it matter why she did what she did 26 years ago? Who cares.

I'm hard pressed to find a woman who can just shut off her emotions whether they're positive or negative. I still firmly believe in High Score Theory which is why this is relevant. Go to a Bon Jovi concert and there's 50 year old women who still get their panties wet over that old fvck. Find a woman who married and divorced her high school sweetheart and ask her about him. She will talk about him for the next two hours.

This chick wasn't some wh0re who was fvcking every guy in high school. I was most likely her first real encounter with a boy. That 5hit doesn't leave a woman's brain. That's why this situation interests me. I'm curious to know what her current impression is. However, the only way to do that is to read a woman's actions, so only time will tell what's going on in her brain.

Generally, people don't change their opinion about a person regardless of how many years have passed. If they perceive you as a doormat when you stop talking to them, they'll perceive you as a doormat 30 years later when you bump into them. However, women can revert back to how they first felt about a boy. I've experienced it first hand with the chick who drove me to this website. If I were to guess, it may be that R has reverted especially with how much glowing social proof I have with our friends.

 

[MtmVaott]

I will repeat... I don't really care about her as a person. I'm always wanting to know what goes on in a woman's brain because I learn something from it.



I'm hard pressed to find a woman who can just shut off her emotions whether they're positive or negative. I still firmly believe in High Score Theory which is why this is relevant. Go to a Bon Jovi concert and there's 50 year old women who still get their panties wet over that old fvck. Find a woman who married and divorced her high school sweetheart and ask her about him. She will talk about him for the next two hours.

This chick wasn't some wh0re who was fvcking every guy in high school. I was most likely her first real encounter with a boy. That 5hit doesn't leave a woman's brain. That's why this situation interests me. I'm curious to know what her current impression is. However, the only way to do that is to read a woman's actions, so only time will tell what's going on in her brain.

Generally, people don't change their opinion about a person regardless of how many years have passed. If they perceive you as a doormat when you stop talking to them, they'll perceive you as a doormat 30 years later when you bump into them. However, women can revert back to how they first felt about a boy. I've experienced it first hand with the chick who drove me to this website. If I were to guess, it may be that R has reverted especially with how much glowing social proof I have with our friends.

I think the only reason she acts this way is because she feels embarassed that she rejected you back then, maybe how she did it, too, and now you emerged not as the unattractive guy (in her eyes) back then, but as an attractive man, and she may additionally be ashamed of herself because she perceives you more valuable than her, as in "my life turned out to be better".
It says more about her than about you.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Des,

Great post. Great approach and attitude with her.

I agree that your high-score theory definitely comes into play.

Good to see you back here.