One Night Stands and Inner Game

[randomshinichi]

At the moment, I feel that both things are mutually exclusive. Why? I wrote a blog post about it, but since Sosuave was the site that told me about inner game, I'll quote it here too to give back to the site:

I can never get my head around a one night stand. I don’t think I’ll ever do it, and if I ever do it, I’ll probably leave right in the middle of the night because after cumming into a stranger’s face I will realize how empty it all is, and how weird it is to be sticking a private part into some other stranger’s private part just because she was the hottest girl in the club that night.

I like to use this analogy. The club is a meat market/the butcher’s, the women there looking for a ONS are the pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling, or lying somewhere, neatly chopped up and garnished for the taking, and the men are the shoppers. Except they don’t have to pay anything. All they have to say is the right combination of words, and tada, they’re yours.

Notice the difference between a hooker and a one night stand. Um, well, not much of a difference really, except that the one night stand values herself even less than a prostitute. I mean, really, what’s easier to dish out, 20-80 bucks or a few negs and some appropriate body language that you could pick up from watching some guy on Youtube for free? For me, obviously the latter. Why? Because I do it all the time anyway. It’s just the way I am. The fact that most men think it’s easier to pay and thus conclude that prostitutes are easier, and therefore of less value simply means that I really am The Great Catch.

Nothing wrong with that, really. That’s all dating is about anyway. Say the right things, do the right stuff, hopefully it clicks with the other party, she’s yours. What’s worrying though is the advent of the Pickup Artist and his success. The PUA peacocks, negs, does a C&F routine, dabbles in a bit of “NLP”. All this is canned. He learns his lines from someone else. He learns how to act from someone else. Whatever stories he tells are fake anyway, he doesn’t have a story, he just goes out at night getting ****ed, and if he’s drunk enough in the morning he wakes up completely wasted.

And if their accounts are to be believed, there are tons of females out there who would willingly lap all this fake **** up. There are tons of chicks who can’t tell the real from the fake, and go sleep with the fake, post some whiny **** about how he didn’t even make her *** and didn’t care about her anyway because he busted a nut, and the next week do it all over again. Remember the part in “The Game” where Strauss realized that a certain part of town had been over-gamed, and they weren’t getting any that night? Because as stupid as they are, when two different guys attempt to tell you the same story in the hopes of getting some *****, you can’t help but figure out that it’s all fake. From this we know that females want to ONS someone who is real, but most of them are just too stupid to tell the difference between a guy who leads an exciting life, versus one who’s just memorized a routine. Or maybe they just don’t care, they just want some ****, and the PUA is the only one who demonstrated enough alpha-ness to tip the scales in their favour. Those are the kind you really want to avoid – they have absolutely zero sense of self worth.

Once you’ve got inner game, you start to see how shallow and superficial this all is. Evidently there are a lot of HB8-9s out there, but not many quality ones you would want to get to know better (other than getting to which specific strain of STD she has).

In fact, I think I’ll try this. Next time I ever strike up a conversation with a chick at a club, I’ll say “so my place or yours?” and if she goes with it, I’ll just up and walk away. Hey, I heard it gets them all crazy about you.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Interesting alternative perspective here OP, but I'm going to have to completely disagree with your hostility towards one night stands, for several reasons.

Firstly, if I've understood your view correctly, if you don't believe in one night stands and equate them with prostitution, which you also (rightly imo) disapprove of, then you believe that sex and the physical aspect to the way the sexes interact solely belongs in a relationship, or at the very least in a setting where there is a certain expectation that a relationship will necessarily develop from the initial interaction. One of the many difficulties with this view is that it shoots itself in the foot: how do you KNOW that a relationship will develop from something that starts off as casual? Answer: you can't. These things develop organically with sufficient mutual interest in pursuing something a little more serious. In the knowledge that you cannot simply impose the term "relationship" on you and a girl you're seeing, how do you have sex- which necessarily starts as a casual act- at all?

Secondly, the view you offer is, at its heart, a stereotypically female one. You cannot simply sleep around with anyone, so you say: there has to be an expectation that there is more involved than the purely physical. This view is unhealthy, as it leads to all sorts of unnecessary social stigma when girls (in particular) sleep around. People should not judge women (or men, but this tends to happen less) for expressing their enjoyment of their sexuality- something that is essentially the most natural thing in the world. The recent "slut marches" worldwide, aimed at reclaiming the word "slut" from its current negative connotation, made this point particularly clearly. The PUA peacocks and delivers canned routines you say?- well why not? If that's what it takes to seduce women and have a bit of fun, then I say let him enjoy his sexuality.

Finally, there is no better way to gather sexual experience than having the odd one night stand here and there. Yes, you do have to use precaution and be a sensible adult in order to minimise the risk of catching the STDs you alluded to. However, the fact of the matter is that women- especially the sort of quality women you rave about, who most of us on this site aim to settle down with some day- love a man who knows what he's doing in the bedroom. One night stands and casual sex without the expectation of an eventual relationship give you other useful experience as well, again experience which would certainly help you in the type of relationship you seem to be interested in. You get to know a wide variety of women, what makes them tick, how needy or otherwise you like them, how dominant you yourself like to be in a relationship. You learn to recognise the signs of a crazy girl early on, and learn to bail as soon as possible. But perhaps most importantly, you get to know what sort of girls turn you on (and off!) personally, which will give you the sort of standards you need when you do finally decide to sacrifice your freedom and settle down in a LTR.

Hope that gives you something to think about.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Clearly the OP is waaaay to uptight.

Why is it so impossible for two strangers to enjoy spontaneous passionate sexual encounters with one another? Its not! Its awesome!

What the hell kind of moralistic trip are you on to be all like "I would feel empty inside if I came on a stranger's face" or wotever you said. What a load of baloney.

Dude, you're allowed to have spontaneous fun with a stranger, you're allowed to get caught up in the passion of the moment. You're allowed to be uninhibited and go with the flow. No one is going to smite you, you aren't going to feel guilty.

Sheet man, this is what life is all about. ONS are da best!

 

[IShotTheSheriff]

The answer is - some people can and some people cant.

Its like sexual leanings - some like anal, some dont. So some guys are bothered sleeping next to a stranger or having a stranger in their bed after the sexual tension is gone and some dont. The latter often even like and need this fact about an ONS because they say there hve to be no feelings involved - I hear that from woman pretty often.

I needed a qute a few ONS to realize that I belong to the first kind. But that doesn´t mean that you have to live without ONS or casual sex. The sollution for you is - dont have sex with girls you dont like. Leave a little of your blood in your brain and dont only judge her by her boobs or ass - but if she is also nice and cute. So after you had sex, you can lie next to someone you like, which feels pretty nice to me. I often talk to my my ONS girls half the night.

I also can enshure you - it will improve not only the overall quality of the night and the next morning. It even improves the your sex. Many woman dont want any feeling involved in a ons and only have them with guys that dont mean anything to them, they just like their looks and sexappeal. The same woman often tell me that the sex with an ONS is not the best and even feel somehow dirty the next morning. But they are to "afraid" of falling in love and strictly rule out feelings. B*tch please....

But I dont have that problem - I draw a very accurate line between liking a girl and being in love with a girl and even having sex does not change anything for me. So I am a lucky guy who can have a ONS or even a FB which he also likes and therefore never fells empty, guilty, dirty or afraid to fall in love with her.