One More Try

[corrector]

I recently heard George Michael’s “One More Try” again, and it unexpectedly brought me back to the deepest hinge point of my failed marriage in 2014. My ex-wife and I had a real moment where it looked like the marriage might be saved through buying a new home near the Highway 400/89 area, a place where a future family life could have been built. When the mortgage did not come together and she later asked for divorce papers, it felt like the “teacher said goodbye” part of the song — painful, final, but also strangely meaningful. A lot of discussion around my story has focused on the messy aftermath, but that misses the deeper wound: before any later mistakes, there was a real attempt to build a life, and that attempt deserves to be honored. I now see my ex-wife, however painful the ending was, as a kind of life teacher who showed me both hope and heartbreak. The song does not condemn the try; it honors it, and in a strange way, it reminds me that I was not just a defeated caregiver — I was a man who once truly tried to love, build, and become something more.

I've included a link to this song:

Feel this is an aspect that has to be honored and this song has done its job.

 

[zekko]

My ex-wife and I had a real moment where it looked like the marriage might be saved through buying a new home near the Highway 400/89 area, a place where a future family life could have been built.

I'm sure a lot of guys would dismiss this, but I think it's good to go the extra mile to try to save your marriage, I can't fault it. But when saving the marriage is tied to spending more money, that seems like a warning sign right there.

 

[corrector]

I'm sure a lot of guys would dismiss this, but I think it's good to go the extra mile to try to save your marriage, I can't fault it. But when saving the marriage is tied to spending more money, that seems like a warning sign right there.

But there ain't no joy for an uptown boy whose teacher just told him goodbye - as the lyrics say.

When I asked AI (Chatpgt/model 5.5) about what "Uptown Boy" means - it responded as follows:


In the song, “uptown boy” can carry a few emotional meanings:


1. The sheltered or idealistic version of himself
“Uptown” can imply someone who is not street-hardened, someone maybe more innocent, polished, hopeful, or naïve about love. In your story, that could be the part of you that still believed: marriage, house, family, future — this can come together.


2. The man trying to rise into a better life
“Uptown” can also suggest aspiration: moving up, building something, getting into a better place. That plugs into the Treetops house strongly. You were not just trying to survive; you were trying to step into a more established life: husband, homeowner, family provider, structured future.


3. The younger man before the lesson
The “boy” part matters. It is not “uptown man.” It suggests someone still emotionally young in that area — hopeful, exposed, maybe not fully prepared for how brutal love, finances, family pressure, and disappointment could become. That does not mean childish in a mocking way. It means vulnerable.


4. The person who thought love would rescue him from loneliness
This may be the deepest fit. You described being almost single-for-life, having one previous relationship that did not become marriage, then this marriage had momentum. So “uptown boy” could symbolize the part of you that thought: maybe this is finally the door out of loneliness.


I agree, there was no joy in how that turned out (ie she asked for divorce papers)

 

[Bokanovsky]

I recently heard George Michael’s “One More Try” again, and it unexpectedly brought me back to the deepest hinge point of my failed marriage in 2014. My ex-wife and I had a real moment where it looked like the marriage might be saved through buying a new home near the Highway 400/89 area, a place where a future family life could have been built. When the mortgage did not come together and she later asked for divorce papers, it felt like the “teacher said goodbye” part of the song — painful, final, but also strangely meaningful. A lot of discussion around my story has focused on the messy aftermath, but that misses the deeper wound: before any later mistakes, there was a real attempt to build a life, and that attempt deserves to be honored. I now see my ex-wife, however painful the ending was, as a kind of life teacher who showed me both hope and heartbreak. The song does not condemn the try; it honors it, and in a strange way, it reminds me that I was not just a defeated caregiver — I was a man who once truly tried to love, build, and become something more.

There is nothing to be gained by romanticizing a marriage that failed over a decade ago. You need to start looking forward on the rest of your life instead of mentally reliving past failure.

 

[Barrister]

Nothing wrong with pulling out all the stops to save a marriage -- especially if children are involved. However, most people stay way past this point where it is clear it is dead and they just hang on anyway. This does neither person any favors.

The song itself is a breakup song. Even though I like the song, it is mostly blue-pilled nonsense. There isn't any real insight to be gained through analyzing the lyrics if your goal is to try to learn something about yourself or your own relationships. And the whole concept of considering the woman a "teacher" is by itself a horrible mindset to be in for a man. It automatically denotes her in a superior position -- the man is the "pupil." Yuck.

 

[viking22]

A much better George Michael song is his Wham track "Everything She Wants". Not sure if it resonates at all with your marriage but it is something I see quite often in my friends and relatives marraiges where the guy is playing the provider role.

The character in the song realizes that working hard to give the woman the things she wants isn't going to keep them together and feels trapped by impending fatherhood.

"Somebody tell me why I work so hard for you?"
"They told me marriage was a give and take
"Well, you've shown me you can take, you've got some giving to do"
"All the things we sign, and the things we buy. Ain't gonna keep us together, girl, it's just a matter of time"

 

[corrector]

There is nothing to be gained by romanticizing a marriage that failed over a decade ago. You need to start looking forward on the rest of your life instead of mentally reliving past failure.

It is not like that though. I listened to this song and had an "awake trance" where I went back in time to the builder site, seeing that home, seeing this was a hinge point of the marriage, and the song brought those moments to life. I paid the deposit for the home out of my own money to hold it for bank approval. It was a buried memory that I forgot was there. Almost every single word of lyrics of that song applied to that sequence in 2014 with shocking precision when I did a post-analysis. Things like that remind me that I really tried with that marriage and gave it my all. But maybe it wasn't meant to last. She was just a teacher who had to say good-bye despite the best of intentions at the beginning and my determination to see this whole thing through. She was not that strong in the face of the storms. The lyrics are all right on this one.

 

[corrector]

Nothing wrong with pulling out all the stops to save a marriage -- especially if children are involved. However, most people stay way past this point where it is clear it is dead and they just hang on anyway. This does neither person any favors.

The song itself is a breakup song. Even though I like the song, it is mostly blue-pilled nonsense. There isn't any real insight to be gained through analyzing the lyrics if your goal is to try to learn something about yourself or your own relationships. And the whole concept of considering the woman a "teacher" is by itself a horrible mindset to be in for a man. It automatically denotes her in a superior position -- the man is the "pupil." Yuck.

I hear what you are saying. I heard the song at the Supermarket about a week ago. I liked it, but couldn't understand the lyrics and had struggled to find the artist who wrote it. Then I remembered, hey, this dude sounds similar to the "last Christmas" song. I looked up that song and discovered the group Wham! Put 2 and 2 together and eventually discovered this song. AI could not help me find the song. I had to remember a male vocal sound, from my own past memory to piece it together enough to discover this old song.

I explained this song put me into a trance like state today where I remembered certain aspects of a marriage a over a decade ago and it brought it to life. It brought a buried memory into narrative relevance and caused me to re-experience that. Music is not just about insights or logical analysis, it could be about re-living memory or going back in time and saying...I remember I was real during this time and despite this thing ended badly, I can see I really tried, but it wasn't meant to work out, but just meant to be more experience.

 

[zekko]

In the song, “uptown boy” can carry a few emotional meanings:
<snip>
3. The younger man before the lesson
The “boy” part matters. It is not “uptown man.” It suggests someone still emotionally young in that area — hopeful, exposed, maybe not fully prepared for how brutal love, finances, family pressure, and disappointment could become. That does not mean childish in a mocking way. It means vulnerable.

I didn't realize Uptown Boy had so may meanings

But speaking of the word "boy", I've always hated the term "bad boy". To this day, I can't get past the "boy" part, I feel like it just describes someone who has not attained any maturity and isn't a full man yet. Then you add "bad" to it, and I just see nothing positive in there whatsoever. I would never take a "bad boy" as a role model, the thought literally disgusts me.

And the whole concept of considering the woman a "teacher" is by itself a horrible mindset to be in for a man. It automatically denotes her in a superior position -- the man is the "pupil." Yuck.

I agree, but I guess you could look at it as if LIFE was teaching him a lesson - which is really what's going on in the first place.
Anyway, IIRC George Michael was gay - what does he know about women anyway?

 

[corrector]

Anyway, IIRC George Michael was gay - what does he know about women anyway?

He slept with women.

 

[zekko]

He slept with women.

Not very often, I bet.

 

[corrector]

Not very often, I bet.

Quite allot, he didn't commit though.

 

[RangerMIke]

Nothing wrong with trying to make something work. Not just in relationships, but business as well.

But in an effort to make something work, you have to address the root cause of potential failure. Too often people believe the solution to problems is just to toss more money on a burning fire. More often than not, all someone does is exchange one problem with another, causing more stress. This doesn't 'fix' the problem, only creates new problems to worry about... strengthening chains to the relationship.

In business, as an example, I had a business in the late 90s that was suffering due to the dot com crash, my solution at the time was take on an equity investor. This had the effect of solving a near term cash flow problem... however it created a new problem of an investor that became nothing but a pain in the @ss. What I should have done is realize that the nature of the business (middleware development) was becoming obsolete. When I realized that I needed to change my business model, I now had a 'partner' that didn't agree and fought me... anyway... I got called back on active duty after 9-11 and the business failed. When I finally got back from active duty the only solution was the shut down the business. I made my investor whole, but the dude continued to hate me because all I did was get his money back (yeah I know... but this is another life lesson... the only people that no one hates are people that do nothing)... that chased me for YEARS. I spent two years of EPIC stress for nothing... what I should have done is just shut the fvcking thing down. Anyway I learned from this and never did anything like that again. During the fiscal crisis of 2008, I closed businesses, yeah... people hated me, but it allowed me to focus on new business opportunities. Again during Covid, same thing, closed a business that was going to fail... I could have taken Covid money to keep the thing afloat, but then I would have a mountain of debt around my neck like a millstone. Again, I shuttered that thing... and again, many hated me mostly because I had to lay off MANY. But when things opened up again, I just restarted. Many people I was in competition with are gone, but the owners were forced into bankruptcy because they took on Covid debt.

As far as marriages, well.... I know several couples that just spend and spend and spend in an effort to fix the relationship... buying new homes, building pools, new cars... having kids... I know a couple now that bought two houses in the last 5 years, I'll go several months without seeing them, and when I do... they have new cars. They are still unhappy, like a junky that needs a 'fix' then keep things on the track by spending money. Another couple, with serious marital issues... well they had a kid... now they have pulled in another person into their sh!tshow. Another man I know married a woman that has low happiness potential (but she is hot... which is actually very hard to maintain). The dude is spending truckloads of money on shrinks and ketoimine treatments (she is depressed).... anyway I could go on and on too many examples to list them all here.

You have to address the ROOT CAUSE of a problem. If you can fix the root cause, sure go ahead and do it, but sometimes there is NOTHING you can do about the root cause accept to just end things and start over. Yeah, people are doing to hate you but that is better than digging deeper into a hole and making your life a living hell. It's like that old Kenny Rodgers song "The Gambler".