"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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One Man...Two Women, One Fvcked up situation (In Movie Preview Voice)

T Money

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Ok, there's 2 girls. Girl A and Girl B. And there's me.

I like Girl A a lot and I work with her, and haven't hooked up with her yet, we've gone out, we had a somewhat drunken romantic evening I guess you could say, but nothing past us sleeping on her couch together.

Then there's Girl B. A Foreign exchange student who calls me all the time, and we always end up having sex almost every night, whom I don't really care for that much. I can't help it, she's just not my type. Plus she can't understand a fvcking word I say to her, it gets old, let me tell you.

They both know eachother, and Girl A knows i'm sleeping with Girl B. Now what would be the best situation here for me to get Girl A? Ditch Girl B?

I'm not even 100% sure that Girl A likes me that way, i'm almost sure, but not enough to ditch constant @ss know what i mean?

I do REALLY like Girl A a lot though. Like...*cough*girlfriend*cough* status.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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LA_Chico

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yo vato, u in cali? Give me the foreign exchange student bro, ill take her off ur hands man
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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How does Girl A know that you're sleeping with Girl B?
 

T Money

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
How does Girl A know that you're sleeping with Girl B?
Well, Girl B sells fake ID's, and Girl A wanted one, and I really like Girl A so I hooked up her up by having Girl B take a photo/make the ID for her...then a few days later Girl A says "you hooked up with Girl B didn't you?" in a playful voice.

And I just smiled so she got the point.

I feel like i'm playing the jealousy card here on purpose. Is that fvkced up to do?

And Badmannaz, I know that rule, and I haven't expirienced it first-hand in a bad way, i've never fvcked around with a girl I work with, and the only way I learn is by expirience so until I find a situation like that where it doesn't work out, i'll try it. I never have.

But I need some honest to goodness opinions here, I'm having second thoughts about Girl A's feelings toward me, she's giving me really mixed signals here. I would dump Girl B in a second to have Girl A.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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T Money

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Oh one more thing, Girl A is encouraging me to hang out with Girl B, like she wants me to. Is she just trying to throw me off?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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T Money said:
And I just smiled so she got the point.
Ouch, that could come back to bite you in the @ss. She was only fishing y'know.

T Money said:
I feel like i'm playing the jealousy card here on purpose. Is that fvkced up to do?
I don't know, what has she done to deserve it? What do you expect to happen, realistically?
T Money said:
I would dump Girl B in a second to have Girl A.
So why don't you? Isn't Girl A worth the chance?
 

Latinoman

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Well, Girl B sells fake ID's, and Girl A wanted one, and I really like Girl A so I hooked up her up by having Girl B take a photo/make the ID for her...
No too smart.

then a few days later Girl A says "you hooked up with Girl B didn't you?" in a playful voice.

And I just smiled so she got the point.
Very amateurish move.

I feel like i'm playing the jealousy card here on purpose. Is that fvkced up to do?
If you want to play the jealousy game (without she deserving it)...be sure to understand that all she has to do if find another man and phuck his brains out. Then walk around with him so you can get the point. Who do you think would feel more jealous?
 

T Money

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Well i'm going to see her tonight and tell her that we broke it off, because I like someone else, then i'll tell her that it's this girl I work with named "Girl A" (real name).
 
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