"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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One in five American divorces now involve Facebook

T

Tiguere

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It used to be the tell-tale lipstick on the collar. Then there were the give-away texts that spelled the death knell for many marriages.

But now one in five divorces involve the social networking site Facebook, according to a new survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

A staggering 80 per cent of divorce lawyers have also reported a spike in the number of cases that use social media for evidence of cheating.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...r-One-American-divorces-involve-Facebook.html

if you insist on having a wife or a girlfriend, no Facebook or Twitter should be ALLOWED.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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J

Jitterbug

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100% of divorces now involve mobile phones.

Therefore, no mobile phone should be allowed if you insist on having a wife or LTR.
 
S

squirrels

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Jitterbug said:
100% of divorces now involve mobile phones.

Therefore, no mobile phone should be allowed if you insist on having a wife or LTR.
Click to expand...
Most divorces now involve screwing around, so if you insist on having a wife or girlfriend, you should freeze some sperm and castrate yourself.

:rolleyes:
 
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