Once low value always low value?

[MattR1984]

So if you and a woman have split up, parted ways. No major issues at all. No fights or bad arguments. Just like you feel it's not there and she's showing signs of losing interest and you decide to break it off and it's mutual..

She obviously seen me as low value, maybe I was too nice or too available, which she was typically pretty available and initiated often too in the few months of dating. Personally I'm tall, handsome, have money, a nice house and nice vehicles. However, that doesn't hold value with most women apparently and no matter how well you've done in life or kept your self in great shape, dress good if you do like I said above your value eventually goes to low.

That being said, have any of you guys ever screwed up like that and maybe went no contact for a month, hit the EX back up, went out for dinner or drinks (because you technically did split mutually, and on talking terms, she'd reply if I wrote her) and we're able to have that interest level from her back up? I have pondered this and part of me thinks unless you hit the lotto, became a famous guy or athlete or something major. Once low value is in there head it's always going to be.

I guess I'll see for myself if I do initiate a hangout next month after the no contact phase is over..I'd like to hear success stories on this or failures.

 

[jurry]

Lol the old "no contact" to reinitiate interest ploy.

Watch swingers with vince vaughn and jon favreau. They never really regain interest until youve truly forgot them.. if at all. Theres no shortcuts.

 

[:-)]

if I do initiate a hangout next month after the no contact phase is over...

The no contact phase does not have a time limit. It is indefinite. By initiating you will end the no contact phase and lower what little value she might perceive you to have.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Want an idea of what a conversation will likely look like between her and one of her friends if you do break no contact?

Her: Guess who just popped up out of nowhere and texted me
Friend: lol MattR1984
Her: lol yep
Friend: lol omg is he telling you how much he's changed? MAKE HIM BEG
Her: lmao! whatever, I don't care about him anymore anyway
Friend: yeah, fvck him. What's happening with the guy from last Thursday? Is he still ignoring you?

 

[MattR1984]

Want an idea of what a conversation will likely look like between her and one of her friends if you do break no contact?

Her: Guess who just popped up out of nowhere and texted me
Friend: lol MattR1984
Her: lol yep
Friend: lol omg is he telling you how much he's changed? MAKE HIM BEG
Her: lmao! whatever, I don't care about him anymore anyway
Friend: yeah, fvck him. What's happening with the guy from last Thursday? Is he still ignoring you?

She actually suggested a week ago that we meet up for dinner or a drink this week. I told her I couldn't make it. She said oh okay maybe some other time. I didn't reply back. I've been no contact since. If that even matters.

 

[yungballa]

She actually suggested a week ago that we meet up for dinner or a drink this week. I told her I couldn't make it. She said oh okay maybe some other time. I didn't reply back. I've been no contact since. If that even matters.

orrrr you can

drop this hoe from your life period and just focus on yourself

 

[TarantulaHawk]

So if you and a woman have split up, parted ways. No major issues at all. No fights or bad arguments. Just like you feel it's not there and she's showing signs of losing interest and you decide to break it off and it's mutual...

Ok. It happens.

She obviously seen me as low value, maybe I was too nice or too available, which she was typically pretty available and initiated often too in the few months of dating. Personally I'm tall, handsome, have money, a nice house and nice vehicles. However, that doesn't hold value with most women apparently and no matter how well you've done in life or kept your self in great shape, dress good if you do like I said above your value eventually goes to low.

So you have a nice house, dress well, work out, have vehicles, have money....to "prove" you're high value to women? You don't even value yourself. You value what you have in order to be "high value" to someone else's opinion or what you "perceive" their opinion to be.

Anyone and everyone should be high value internally and strive to be their best in all aspects not for "others" sake but for their own progression in life.

That being said, have any of you guys ever screwed up like that and maybe went no contact for a month, hit the EX back up, went out for dinner or drinks (because you technically did split mutually, and on talking terms, she'd reply if I wrote her) and we're able to have that interest level from her back up? I have pondered this and part of me thinks unless you hit the lotto, became a famous guy or athlete or something major. Once low value is in there head it's always going to be.

I guess I'll see for myself if I do initiate a hangout next month after the no contact phase is over..I'd like to hear success stories on this or failures.

How did you "screw up" if both parties lost interest? It happens.

So you're basing your "value" on her interest level? Based on a thought or an opinion which isn't real. Opinions and thoughts change. What's REAL is you as a person regardless what others opinions or thoughts are.

Did you change when things were going great? Did you change when things ended? No. Your thoughts and opinions changed. Nothing else.

Your self esteem shouldn't be based on your possessions, or opinions and thoughts. It should be internal realizing that you are learning and growing while moving forward in life REGARDLESS if you think someone else "approves and accepts" you or not.

Success is realizing that you will move forward and progress in all aspects of life with or without needing someone to serve as a security blanket to "validate" yourself.

 

[Yorkex]

Oh man , I actually opened a new thread on this same incident.
I had multiple success , PM me and I will give you more details on how I did it.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Lol its not like that women like drama so a dramatic breakup will always be better for rekindling old flames. But the fact that there was no drama in your breakup means she is high value and a decent person, but was using you to distract herself from someone else maybe or just wanted something casual but didnt see in you a person she wants to go serious with. See it doesnt have anything to do with looks or money, but rather hmm personality.

This is why its good to talk about this stuff from the beggining.

But dont be butthurt and dont pursue her, look how she acted all grown when your thing ended, be a grown up too, dont pursue her :}

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

She obviously seen me as low value, maybe I was too nice or too available, which she was typically pretty available and initiated often too in the few months of dating. Personally I'm tall, handsome, have money, a nice house and nice vehicles. However, that doesn't hold value with most women apparently and no matter how well you've done in life or kept your self in great shape, dress good if you do like I said above your value eventually goes to low.

Eliot Rogers ?

If you have such assets and cant keep women you must be really boring ... stop being boring.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Drop this girl and find a woman that gives you the man tingles and the butterflies... it will be worth it no matter how long you wait. Don't waste your time on a chick that your like meh.. with.

 

[Desdinova]

That being said, have any of you guys ever screwed up like that and maybe went no contact for a month, hit the EX back up, went out for dinner or drinks (because you technically did split mutually, and on talking terms, she'd reply if I wrote her) and we're able to have that interest level from her back up?

The only way this can work is if you run into her in person or she initiates the contact. If you contact her, it most likely will not happen. Also, the longer you've been apart, the more likely you'll end up back together and have her interest level renewed.

 

[Zarky]

Once low value always low value?

Sadly, yes.

Think of it this way, if you saw a girl giving bl*wjobs to random strangers at a glory hole in some seedy bathroom, would you ever consider her a romantic prospect? Would you ever think of the two of you making sweet, tender love on a big bed with white sheets and classical music playing in the background?

Probably not.

And would there ever be anything she could do to get you to feel that way about her, if you ever did before?

Probably not.

Same goes with chicks. Once they see you as "low value," that image will stay with them forever.

 

[Zion]

Sadly, yes.

Think of it this way, if you saw a girl giving bl*wjobs to random strangers at a glory hole in some seedy bathroom, would you ever consider her a romantic prospect? Would you ever think of the two of you making sweet, tender love on a big bed with white sheets and classical music playing in the background?

Probably not.

And would there ever be anything she could do to get you to feel that way about her, if you ever did before?

Probably not.

Same goes with chicks. Once they see you as "low value," that image will stay with them forever.

I don't necessarily agree, since the bj analogy is a bit far fetched.

I think you can recover form being perceived as low value. I also think the time and effort required for that is absolutely not worth it.

 

[MattR1984]

Lol its not like that women like drama so a dramatic breakup will always be better for rekindling old flames. But the fact that there was no drama in your breakup means she is high value and a decent person, but was using you to distract herself from someone else maybe or just wanted something casual but didnt see in you a person she wants to go serious with. See it doesnt have anything to do with looks or money, but rather hmm personality.

This is why its good to talk about this stuff from the beggining.

But dont be butthurt and dont pursue her, look how she acted all grown when your thing ended, be a grown up too, dont pursue her :}

After a month in she asked for exclusiveness and wanted to do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. She said our relationship felt too casual so that wasn't it. She introduced me to her parents. They said I was the third guy they ever met. She's 27.

 

[MattR1984]

And I did consider her high value so that's true. Otherwise I wouldn't of agreed to date her exclusively and set other girls aside. The chances of us running into each other are slim to none. We live in a city of over a million and don't have the same social circle. Not even one mutual friend. That's why I'm thinking the only way would be through initiating from my side or hers and since I declined this week I probably need to next time.

 

[Cremasta]

Yeah, I've done this, with a few minor differences to the situation.

It was the girl who I broke up with and was the reason I came on this site in the first place.
It was about 8-9 months after we broke up, I'd gone through my jerk phase, and had dialled that back down to 'confident'.

It didn't take a lotto win or even taking her out to dinner.
Basically I learnt a lot from some of the guys on this site and changed my whole attitude.
Just went over her place for a coffee one day and about half an hour of ****y/funny later, she was a lot more naked than she intended to be.

The difference was, I was well and truly over her and had no intention of seriously dating her again.

If you want to meet up with the ex, and raise your value, then just don't bring along the old 'low value' you. How much you've changed will even be a talking point for her.

 

[Yorkex]

Disappear , come up a new you and treat HER like a low quality woman. Act in confidence and go after what you want SEX.
You already mentioned your accomplishments, she CAN'T give you something you already have , you just have to stop being scared and act in confidence to get what you want.
Invite her to your house , drink a little and try to make a move , she declines then kick her out. I don't care if it's 3 am in the morning , tell her you have things to do. Delete and never call again.

 

[Love<3]

Disappear , come up a new you and treat HER like a low quality woman. Act in confidence and go after what you want SEX.
You already mentioned your accomplishments, she CAN'T give you something you already have , you just have to stop being scared and act in confidence to get what you want.
Invite her to your house , drink a little and try to make a move , she declines then kick her out. I don't care if it's 3 am in the morning , tell her you have things to do. Delete and never call again.

So to you, women are good only for sex? Otherwise we are "useless"?

 

[Zion]

So to you, women are good only for sex? Otherwise we are "useless"?

With a mentality like that? yes.


Actually scratch that. Sex with you is most likely horrible as well.