On Willpower

jax871

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Recently i've been working a lot with the concept of will power. As you all know nothing changes unless you take action to make it change, and up until the last few months I believed the way to influence it is you first had to control your thoughts. "As you think you shall become" we are told. We are told to do what you love to do and everything will work out for you. Also, new age thought sh*t tells us that all we have to do is think happy thoughts and feel good about ourselves while visualising our future and we can have anything our heart desires (see: the secret), I guess if you tell anyone they can have anything they want for little to no effort it will become a world wide success, it's human nature after all.

What makes one man approach a woman and another shy away yet they both are sharing the same internal experience?

What makes one man go to the gym and eat that rabbit food while the other eats fast food and watches TV, even thought they both feel lazy?

What makes one student study tirelessly while the other goes out partying even though they both have the same temptations?

Willpower. Discipline. Whatever you want to call it.

The ability to act in our best interest despite our temptations, urges and feelings to do otherwise.

I think its something that can be trained, just as you train for a sport and your skill level increases, as you train with weights and your muscles adapt. The more you utilise your will the more powerful it becomes. You see it when people change one part of their lives (ie. their health) and then the rest of their life starts to come in to line (relationships, career, etc). You see it in the law of momentum, when you start getting things done, you start to make more and more action automatically.

I've noticed over the past couple of months i've held the goal to improve my willpower and this has been working really well. Whenever i know i should do something but i really couldn't be f*cked (wether its because of fear or laziness, everything seems to stem from one of them), something clicks in my brain as im given an opportunity there… an opportunity to develop my will.

Your thoughts?

Note: I'm not bashing positive thinking, in fact i think being relaxed, happy, and grateful is an important part of enjoying the journey that is life. However i don't think its the holy grail of achievement its made out to be.. Action is what counts because sometimes you will feel like sh*t no matter how many rainbows you think of, and thats when your will is honed.
 

Mike32ct

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One of the most important threads ever.

I'm all for doing what you enjoy and following your passion or purpose or whatever. But people make it sound like it is all fun and all bliss. No way.

No matter how much you love something or want to accomplish something, sometimes you will hate it and not feel like doing it. Sometimes your purpose or passion or goal will
suc dix lol and you will dread doing it or working towards it.

That's when willpower is needed to force yourself to continue.
 

yuppaz

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I find it helpful to really DECIDE (actually stole this from Tony Robbins..haha) a word, with Greek origins meaning "To cut off from" or in other words, one you decide, there are no other possibilities. If you decide to improve your situation in X way, there is no Y or Z, there is only X.

I agree on action being the root of all progress and achievement / contentment. I think by human nature most of us are lazy and do what is comfortable for us, which keeps us exactly where we are in life (good or bad) and the only way to change is to take action, sometimes massive action.

For example you can come onto this board and mentally masturbate for years and years and not have any life progress / progress with dating success. Just knowing logically a million things about this and that won't change your world AT ALL. You need to get your ass out there and take action to actually make progress and move in the direction that you would like to in life.
 

jax871

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@ Mike, i agree 100% and i'm really starting to understand this. I wasted so much time focusing on my 'inner state' only and achieved nothing as we have much less control over our thoughts and feelings as the self help or PUA industry has led us to believe.

@ yuppaz, I like that! As humans in modern society i believe we have to many options to spend our time (our only true resource) on! It's funny how when we 'decide' or give ourselves limited options with our time (ie. give ourselves a checklist for the day or prepare a schedule) it actually leads to more freedom and purpose. Seems contradictory.
 

TwistedFireStarter

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jax871 said:
Recently i've been working a lot with the concept of will power. As you all know nothing changes unless you take action to make it change, and up until the last few months I believed the way to influence it is you first had to control your thoughts. "As you think you shall become" we are told. We are told to do what you love to do and everything will work out for you. Also, new age thought sh*t tells us that all we have to do is think happy thoughts and feel good about ourselves while visualising our future and we can have anything our heart desires (see: the secret), I guess if you tell anyone they can have anything they want for little to no effort it will become a world wide success, it's human nature after all.

What makes one man approach a woman and another shy away yet they both are sharing the same internal experience?

What makes one man go to the gym and eat that rabbit food while the other eats fast food and watches TV, even thought they both feel lazy?

What makes one student study tirelessly while the other goes out partying even though they both have the same temptations?

Willpower. Discipline. Whatever you want to call it.

The ability to act in our best interest despite our temptations, urges and feelings to do otherwise.

I think its something that can be trained, just as you train for a sport and your skill level increases, as you train with weights and your muscles adapt. The more you utilise your will the more powerful it becomes. You see it when people change one part of their lives (ie. their health) and then the rest of their life starts to come in to line (relationships, career, etc). You see it in the law of momentum, when you start getting things done, you start to make more and more action automatically.

I've noticed over the past couple of months i've held the goal to improve my willpower and this has been working really well. Whenever i know i should do something but i really couldn't be f*cked (wether its because of fear or laziness, everything seems to stem from one of them), something clicks in my brain as im given an opportunity there… an opportunity to develop my will.

Your thoughts?

Note: I'm not bashing positive thinking, in fact i think being relaxed, happy, and grateful is an important part of enjoying the journey that is life. However i don't think its the holy grail of achievement its made out to be.. Action is what counts because sometimes you will feel like sh*t no matter how many rainbows you think of, and thats when your will is honed.
This is a lot of what separates the boys from the men. The ones that have the drive, will, and courage to see it through the storm are ultimately the ones that will prosper. Honestly, of all the things you can do to make your life better, working on your self-discipline and picking a direction, and going hard are probably at the top of the list. I suppose we can all work on making our will power and self discipline better, but I think if there is one thing that will get you far in life, and get a lot of attention, it's this. It's just a shame that many members of our society seem to lack it, but I feel like this post should be stickied as one of the things everyone looking to improve their chances with women (and really their life in general) should look at. :rockon:
 

jax871

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Yeah so true, but its also the hardest thing to do.. no 'magic pill' trick to develop that sort of commitment and discipline.
 

Trump

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jax871 said:
I guess if you tell anyone they can have anything they want for little to no effort it will become a world wide success, it's human nature after all.
This statement is correct when you are a teenager or in your 20s and have a "world owes you mentality", but most men when they mature, they realize they want to make a difference in the world.

Self respected, mature men want to earn what they have and have society value them for their efforts, they don't want to inherit millions of dollars or win the lottery. Even the hottest girl would rather have a ambitious man who works hard for money and takes no crap from anyone rather than a one who has no ambition, no goals or friends, yet is rich.
 

jax871

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remotecontrol said:
I always say
"he who can control his own mind can control the whole world"
Yeah i spent alot of years believing in this. I do believe positive thinking and having a definite purpose and focus is VERY important but the idea that we can literally control our mind at all times is ridiculous.

Take a guy who has never approached a woman cold before... He can say all the affirmations he wants and think all the 'positive thoughts' in the world... but when it comes time to do it he WILL feel incredibly nervous and think self defeating thoughts.... the real skill is to act despite these feelings and thoughts.
 

jax871

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Trump said:
This statement is correct when you are a teenager or in your 20s and have a "world owes you mentality", but most men when they mature, they realize they want to make a difference in the world.

Self respected, mature men want to earn what they have and have society value them for their efforts, they don't want to inherit millions of dollars or win the lottery. Even the hottest girl would rather have a ambitious man who works hard for money and takes no crap from anyone rather than a one who has no ambition, no goals or friends, yet is rich.
Not sure if you understood what i was trying to say, or if you just looked at my age and made assumptions.

The section you quoted was said in a very sarcastic way about the new age positive thought movement bullsh*t. Besides, to 'make a difference in the world' and other such statements, aren't they something a person 'could want'. I didnt mention the lottery or inheriting millions.
 
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