On what qualities/attributes do you differentiate and how?

[DonVariously]

I got feedback from a girl that she was not used to guys treating her 'well' (specifically: not cancelling last minute, not waiting 3 weeks for the next date), and amusingly enough it went nowhere. She was pretty, but promiscuous, tattoos, mental health was quite bad and physically had some problems as well. Lesson learned. Now in contrast, I'd expect a pretty girl that is just out of a long relationship and no tattoos would value being decent more.

So it got me thinking, based on what do you differentiate? And how do you differentiate? Previously I was mostly one size fits all, so I'd like to learn here.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I could be wrong but sounds like the girl was meant for recreational use only / plate status only. You treated her like LTR worthy or Marriage worthy and it created a disconnect.

99.99% of the time, giving exclusivity to a 304, or a carousel rider, or a former carousel rider does not end well. SoSuave would have way less threads created if it did. The problem is, that also 99.99% of modern women are 304s, carousel riders, or former carousel riders.

A lot of young women get pumped & ghosted young. This turns them into an Alpha-Widow. They start riding the carousel during Rollo Tomassi´s "Party Years". Once they reach "The Epiphany Phase", decide they want exclusivity. But as @Gamisch says, they can hear the Carousel calling, escpecially if they have already been there.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Women with low self-esteem are familiar with being abused and mistreated, so they expect and (weirdly enough) trust that to be real. When you act like a bf to them, they get nervous because that is unknown territory.

 

[Gamisch]

The answer to the question asked in the title is both simple and complicated at the same time.

You gotta find a place of peace with yourself and it shouldn't be dependent upon any other human. No family, no friend no pet, no possession and ESPECIALLY not a strange woman.

You are one of a kind. You just gotta YOUmaxxx. Physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally ect.

This is HARD. For me as well. We were all conditioned to believe that after..20 or something we would eventually find a woman who we can share our lives with. As long as this believe is ingrained in your system you WON'T be happy, comparable to a crackhead who might get high, comes down only to feel TWICE as depressed. And thus the circle continues but the pain only becomes worse...

Now having said that ( and this is the most difficult part to grasp), this BY NO MEANS should scare you so bad that you completely discard women!!! Hell no. You should simply find a place of peace for them. Accept them for what they are. Enjoy them. But yet keep looking at them as a recreational drug that you take every now and then, like smoking purple or having a scotch.

Every day when you wake up you should be about differentiating yourself because again, you are unique and UNAPOLOGETICALLY you! We all had our laughs with @Amsterdamassasin ,but NOBODY can ever say that this guy ,with his pirate eye and cat in his shoulder, isn't the ultimate example of being yourself..

 

[The Duke]

I got feedback from a girl that she was not used to guys treating her 'well' (specifically: not cancelling last minute, not waiting 3 weeks for the next date), and amusingly enough it went nowhere. She was pretty, but promiscuous, tattoos, mental health was quite bad and physically had some problems as well. Lesson learned. Now in contrast, I'd expect a pretty girl that is just out of a long relationship and no tattoos would value being decent more.

So it got me thinking, based on what do you differentiate? And how do you differentiate? Previously I was mostly one size fits all, so I'd like to learn here.

You differentiate by learning about how she grew up, how close to her family she is, was there dysfunction in her family, what kind of guys has she dated.

The types that say things like this have a lot of issues from how they were raised, and the relationships they had with previous men.

Dysfunction and abuse is what some know. Anything else is foreign and out of their comfort zone.

You can usually get a few months out of them and eventually they will try and sabotage the relationship. You will be lucky to hear a "you're too good for me".