On second thought...

[BlueAlpha1]

Just when you've thought you've just about heard it all, I can't even decipher if this is an accept or reject.

Long story short, met Russian HB8 at the club Saturday, mild-moderate kino, lots of stories and laughing, a little dancing, number close, text 3 days later and get this.

1:31 PM Me: Hey Russia
1:33 PM Her: Hey Hey
1:53 PM Me: You free Thursday?
1:59 PM Her: I'm at university every day
1:59 PM Her: Til 4-5
2:05 PM Me: I'm talking 7:30
3:25 PM Her: I don't have plans for Thursday evening
7:10 PM Me: Good. X movie is playing are you down?
7:14 PM Her: It would be my pleasure to see a movie with you but my English isn't the greatest and I would probably be confused for a lot of it
7:31 PM Me: Haha good one
7:34 PM Her: Lol not a joke
7:55 PM Me: K no problem

My first inclination was this was a soft rejection and I was pretty nonreactive but what I read it again I couldn't decipher what she was actually getting at in that longer text.

It would be my pleasure to see a movie with you but my English isn't the greatest and I would probably be confused for a lot of it

As in -

"Sure I'm down, but just so you know I'll probably be confused"
or
"I'd love to, but I won't because *insert language excuse* and blah blah blah"

 

[Konada]

Offer drinks/coffee instead. If she says 'Sorry I might be confused if you speak English', next her.

 

[GS750]

^True. just give her the benefit of the doubt and offer a different idea. If she does it again then you don't ask again.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

It's not a soft rejection - it's her way of saying "Choose a better activity." Movies aren't the worst thing, but since she's telling you she won't be able to understand the movie... it means SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE MOVIE. She wants to have a good time with you, so she's letting you know in advance that this isn't the best way to do it. Take the info and decide on something else to do. Everything else she said to you was strong buying signals from her, so don't start getting all self-conscious about the whole thing just because she didn't like your date idea. Always have at least 3 to 5 ideas ready to go in case some kind of objection to the presented idea comes up for legit reasons.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

It's not a soft rejection - it's her way of saying "Choose a better activity." Movies aren't the worst thing, but since she's telling you she won't be able to understand the movie... it means SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE MOVIE. She wants to have a good time with you, so she's letting you know in advance that this isn't the best way to do it. Take the info and decide on something else to do. Everything else she said to you was strong buying signals from her, so don't start getting all self-conscious about the whole thing just because she didn't like your date idea. Always have at least 3 to 5 ideas ready to go in case some kind of objection to the presented idea comes up for legit reasons.

What buying signs are you seeing other than relatively quick response times? Am I missing something?

Harry, this is the girl you read and replied about in my thread the other day (thanks for that) called Warming Up a Lukewarm Girl. For the 2nd interaction in a row, she's been able to somewhat blur her interest level.

I'm not getting self-conscious, I just know from experience that anytime a woman says 'but' it spells bad news. Let's say that I've become skilled at deciphering woman-eze and the language business is pretty weak because we spoke for 4 hours in English on Saturday night. She's very conversational and there's hardly any barrier at all, but when I read that the 2nd time it didn't come off as a rejection.

That said, she didn't say anything after my own somewhat vague response and so I guess I'll hit her up tomorrow with a Plan B.

 

[old_skoolr]

Never take a chick to the movies on the first date, its a waste of time that could be best spent talking and getting to know her.

Finding her red flags, how easy she might be, how to better escalate to sex etc


Leave movies to 3rd-4th dates with girls youve already f.cked

 

[Yewki]

I think it's pretty obvious she's just telling you to choose another activity. Pick something else, and if she declines again without a counter then you know.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

What buying signs are you seeing other than relatively quick response times? Am I missing something?

Some girls are going to not be as extroverted in their response to you. That doesn't mean they don't like you - it just means they are more low-key with their reactions. I once dated a girl who was low-key as shiznit - she'd wait for me to initiate calls (4 days after every date), she'd give very subtle, watch-or-you'll-miss-it signals for sex, and wouldn't get over-excited when I told her about some surprise I was planning. And yet - every time I'd ask her out I'd get a "yes" or a counter-offer; anytime I wanted to do it she was ready to go; and she always thanked me in different ways for showing her a good time.

All that to say: the reaction she give can be somewhat important, but MORE important is follow-thru. You asked her if she was free on Thursday, and she said she was. She didn't say "oh, i'm busy ALL DAY" with no counter-offer. Just like when you met her, she gave you the number - she didn't say "oh, um, well, I have Facebook" or "let me get your number." We say this on here all the time: as long as she's giving you the proper buying signals on the right things (i.e giving you the number, saying yes to the date, showing up for the date, touching you, kissing you, etc.) you're doing fine. Right now you're 2 for 3. If she shows up for the date on time, that's another positive signal. These things may not seem like big deals (especially since she's not showing big reactions to these things), but they are.

 

[Fugitive]

Not sure why you're reading into it as a rejection?! It's not even close. Maybe you've been rejected a lot and are allowing this to affect your mentality. You can't approach a girl expecting her to reject you as if you do then you'll get what's coming.

Probably a movie as a first date isn't a great idea as it doesn't allow you the chance to get to know each other.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

12:59 PM Me: If you're up to hang out what about some ice skating instead...no English needed
6:37 PM Her: Let's go next week. I have a lot of homework for Friday.

Lots of people (including roommate and another friend) keeps talking about positive buying signs but this girl is lukewarm at best and is yanking my chain now. 5.5 hours between replies and a meek counter-offer. Lol homework...

I'll match her low energy and text her tomorrow throwing out a day next week.