On Point's Approach Journal: No Sleep 'till DJ

[KneghtRyder]

Hey, nice journal. I just noticed this one and I always appreciate those who approach since most here don't. My advice to you is to switch up your opener. I mean, what kind of guy has time to sit down by himself with a group of women he doesn't even know? I think it just sends the wrong message. You got a job and a life so you are a busy guy...just go in and get the digits. You don't have to impress women to get the digits.

i disagree, some women dont like the thought of being 'picked up' .. so they wont give you a number even if they really like you . I think if you calm their fears of 'you being a stranger' by chattin a few minutes it definetly increases your chances of getting a number.

 

[Don Picard]

hi Onpoint i just found this site and have been reading it like crazy. Thanks for posting your approach experiences. I am 31 and have no DJ abilities. I read your posts and am amazed at your bravery. I wish I could approach as many woman in one year as you already have in a few days. Approaching tables of 4 girls seems to be too much for a beginner DJ. I guess it is good for experience though. I find it hard enough to approach a single chick. For me, approaching just one chick a day is a big deal. You approach 30+ in a day. Awesome! Just from the sheer numbers of women you talk to, I am amazed that no real action has come of it. You should have totally bangged those two married women.

About that chick you called at work:
Calling that chick at her job was a bad move. That probably really weirded her out. It kind of weirded me out just reading it. Also, I have read that you should never tell a girl that you are not a stalker. What good could come of this? If she thinks you are a stalker, telling her otherwise is not going to change her mind. On the other hand, if she hadnt yet had any thought of you being a stalker, you got her thinking about it by bringing the subject up. The best thing is just not to mention anything about stalking. I know if a girl went out of her way to find me at my job, I would be impressed. However, girls always seem to be on defensive mode. The great thing is that she had the decency to be honest and upfront right away. I would rather a girl tell me that she isnt interested, rather than keep making excuses and making me wonder wtf is going on.

Anyway, it sounds from your progress that you will become the master DJ in no time. Good luck! I have lots to learn to even make it to your level. And I not wealthy or have a great body, so I will have to work even harder.

 

[On Point]

Yeah I messed that up on pretty much every level. I should have tried to #close at the concert and none of the rest would've happened. I try not to think about it. I shared it for the sake of being honest and showing the good the bad and the ugly.

Thanks for the nice words. All your guys encouragement is very helpful.

About that chick you called at work:
Calling that chick at her job was a bad move. That probably really weirded her out. It kind of weirded me out just reading it. Also, I have read that you should never tell a girl that you are not a stalker. What good could come of this? If she thinks you are a stalker, telling her otherwise is not going to change her mind. On the other hand, if she hadnt yet had any thought of you being a stalker, you got her thinking about it by bringing the subject up. The best thing is just not to mention anything about stalking. I know if a girl went out of her way to find me at my job, I would be impressed. However, girls always seem to be on defensive mode. The great thing is that she had the decency to be honest and upfront right away. I would rather a girl tell me that she isnt interested, rather than keep making excuses and making me wonder wtf is going on.

Anyway, it sounds from your progress that you will become the master DJ in no time. Good luck! I have lots to learn to even make it to your level. And I not wealthy or have a great body, so I will have to work even harder.

 

[On Point]

Thanks AZ. I hear what you're saying.

I'll admit I'm pacing myself a bit. Also, I find if I chat with groups I quickly figure out I don't like most of them, which helps me screen. I do single approaches also. The groups are mostly for practice talking to woman, and I don't feel as pressured to come up with things to say. I have to go out alone currently (friends are married or introverts) and sometimes it helps as social proof too.

As far as the time issue, I try to create an artificial time constraint, like "I'm meeting a friend in 20 minutes, can I join you for a beer?".

Which reminds me. Using "polite" language (may I, can I) is a very ingrained habit. I need to work that out but I'm so used to it I find it hard to think of other ways to phrase things. I still get a yes about 50% of the time but it is something I need to improve on.

Hey, nice journal. I just noticed this one and I always appreciate those who approach since most here don't. My advice to you is to switch up your opener. I mean, what kind of guy has time to sit down by himself with a group of women he doesn't even know? I think it just sends the wrong message. You got a job and a life so you are a busy guy...just go in and get the digits. You don't have to impress women to get the digits.

 

[KneghtRyder]

just a tadbit of info..if you number your approaches it'll be easier to recall them...i do it in my journal

 

[On Point]

I've been bad about updating this, but there wasn't much to report on until this weekend. Last week Monday through Wednesday I was very tired, borderline sick, so I wasn't going out. I felt like I had hit a plateau in my conversations, so I decided to use the time reading. I read parts of the book of Pook, Fingers book, and some David DeAngelo stuff (which at the point was mostly redundant).

In a way reading that stuff is almost demotivating - there is so much content it seems very overwhelming. I decided the only sane way to approach it is to pick one or two things to focus on at a time.

 

[On Point]

Thursday
Had my first Salsa lesson. The previous class was running late so everyone was waiting around beforehand. Most people were nervous and not really talking to each other. I tried to maintain open body language and chatted a bit with a guy and one woman before the class started. I was dressed nicely in a fitted shirt so if any women were checking me out I was in top form, lol.

Before we started the lesson the teacher had everyone introduce themselves and say why they were interested in lessons. I was able to speak pretty confidently with a loud voice and made EC.

For the lesson we only did individual practice. Next week we'll do some partnered practice.

So anyway, this post is probably a boring read but I did some groundwork for next week, and made use of some of what I've learned.

 

[On Point]

Friday
Had dinner with a friend, had good interactions with waitresses although they were too young for me to want to PU.

On my way home I checked out a new bar. There weren't too many people there, so I didn't stay, but as I was walking through two waitresses made EC with me and smiled, which was nice.

 

[On Point]

Saturday
Fear not loyal readers, today some interesting things actually happened.

I went to a local beer festival to meet up with a local group. When I first got there I didn't see them so I got a beer and took a seat on a bench. Three girls came over and two sat down. The cutest (HB8.5) was standing and there was a little room left so I asked her if she wanted to sit and scooted over. She sat down. She had a hot dog and wearing white jeans and she said something about "great now I'm probably going to spill this on my jeans", I said "Okay now I don't want you to sit next to me" and smiled at her. She laughed and pretended like she was about to spill it on me. Then one of her friends spotted an open table and they ran off, she said "nice sitting with you" and I said "you too". Could have definately followed up on that if I hadn't gotten busy with others.

Right around then one of the guys from the group recognized me and I went over to join them.

Most of that group was boring as hell but there was one woman (HB7) who was pretty fun, so I focused on her. I busted on some of the people who were drinking beers with berries in them. Her friend asked why I don't drink beer with berries, and I said, "I like beer in my beer, because I'm a man". Her friend kind of snorted but she liked it and it kind of set the tone. For the most part I just acted natural but the one thing I consciously focused on was kino.

She was wearing sunglasses and at one point I just took them off her and asked if they were Ralph Laurens. (They said Ralph on the side, so this was pretty obvious, lol) She said yeah and when I handed them back to her she put them on her head instead of covering her eyes. That's the sort of thing I never used to do and it was so easy.

When I went to get another beer some other guy was sitting in my chair with her so I went and opened a table with a four set nearby. I saw with them for a bit and then three boyfriends came back. The one single one wasn't too attractive so I went back to the group and the guy had moved, so I sat with her again. I told her what had happened at the other table and laughed. She said something like "You're a bold one aren't you" and i Just laughed. She told me several times during the day I was outgoing, which is funny to me because I used to be so NOT outgoing.

A little while after that I asked her if she wanted to go make some new friends with me. We walked off and I told her to be possessive, so more women would want me and held out my elbow. She put her arm around and started just holding my hand a minute later.

We kept drinking, bought some cigars, and were generally just BSing and having a good time. The rest of our group left and so we left together a while after that. We hopped on the train to get back to where we were parked. She started telling me about her sex life and what she likes, which was pretty funny, if you imagine the scene. We both have beers we snuck out of the beer fest. She's sitting on the first row between two woman, who are looking directly forward and very pale. I'm hunched on the floor across from her. She's talking about going to a strip club with her boyfriend, and stuff like that. HAHHAH.

Later she told me she likes to be whipped. Wow.

I drove her to her car and # closed, got the number, gave her a hug and that was that.

She is a little older and crazy for me, but fun. Might go hang out with her sometime.

Watch out for Irish woman though, she just about drank me under the table. I had to drink a ton of water to avoid a hangover.

 

[On Point]

Sunday
Hung out with friends and then went ballroom dancing. The girl I had asked out before was there. I didn't go over to her right away, I danced with some other woman first and worked my way over towards her. A lot of other guys were dancing with her. Once when we made EC I gave her a big smile of recognition.

When we danced she asked me about stuff I had said two weeks ago. I missed one perfect opportunity for C & F. She asked me if I had been on any other dates recently. I should've said "No, just mostly one night stands". I'm getting quicker but I still think of the perfect thing to say later sometimes.

Anyways, other guys kept wanting to dance with her and I'd always get out of the way and work my way all the way around the room before I'd come back to her.

At one point she basically asked me to ask her to lunch with some pretty obvious hints. Towards the end of the night we were both getting pretty tired and I was having trouble thinking of things to talk about so I #closed and got out of there.

One thing I still need work on is keeping the conversation going without "interviewing" (Family, job, school questions). I did okay last night, but what are some good things you guys bring up? I am mixing in some C & F and some DHV. At one point she said something about coming down with a cold and I said "Okay then, I'm not going to make out with you tonight, sorry" and she looked a little surprised and laughed (priceless).

 

[Charm]

Sunday
One thing I still need work on is keeping the conversation going without "interviewing" (Family, job, school questions). I did okay last night, but what are some good things you guys bring up? I am mixing in some C & F and some DHV. At one point she said something about coming down with a cold and I said "Okay then, I'm not going to make out with you tonight, sorry" and she looked a little surprised and laughed (priceless).

Bring up interests, life obstacles, dreams of the future, energy/auras, talk about ideas, youtube, the internet, nature vs nurture, how you miss recess, ask her as a child what she wanted to be when she grew up, etc.

 

[IWillReturnsoon]

Hey man, ur making pretty good progress....especially now that ur fine tuning ur interactions. I don't have the time to post some feedback tonight, but tomorrow expect to see some.....got a good amount for ya. Keep it up my man! U'll eventually get to fall asleep. lol.

Hey, nice journal. I just noticed this one and I always appreciate those who approach since most here don't. My advice to you is to switch up your opener. I mean, what kind of guy has time to sit down by himself with a group of women he doesn't even know? I think it just sends the wrong message. You got a job and a life so you are a busy guy...just go in and get the digits. You don't have to impress women to get the digits.

Nice one man! Yea...u don't have to try to impress women....that is value in itself that u aren't TRYING to impress them...rather u are qualifying them....course not overboard to the point where ur ****y about it...but just enough where u see that u and her are compatable to enjoy each other's company.

 

[IWillReturnsoon]

double post.

 

[On Point]

lol

how you miss recess

 

[On Point]

Monday
Went to boxing.

Tuesday
Lifted weights.

Wednesday
Went to boxing.

Thursday
Today was my second salsa lesson. This time we actually danced with partners so I met some of the women. The classes was pretty fast-paced so there wasn't really time for much conversation but I joked with the women and built a little rapport.

At the end of class the instructor said there would be salsa dancing at a bar nearby. I went and NO ONE else from my class went. It was riduculous, all the people there were really good and I was laughably bad. I got three woman to dance with me but it was not a good situation for picking anyone up.

Next week though I'm going to bust all the women for not going, and tell them if they actually want to dance to let me know. I could end up getting a bunch of numbers in one shot. First off, I had the balls to go dance when no one else did, and I'm going to address all of them at once, which no of the other guys will do, lol.

I have a dinner date lined up for Saturday. I need to get more numbers. I'm looking for some good events to go to this weekend where I can meet people.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Read Ur Whole Thing Props Fo Gettin Out There Na Mean. In My New Topic Im Also Doin Approach Journal N My Goal Is To Do 500 Approaches B4 Summer Is Over Wit. If U Live In Da Nyc Area Den We Can Wing It Iight. Keep At It, Holla Early

 

[On Point]

I'm tired as hell, but here is a quick update.

Saturday
Went on dinner date. Turns out girl has all sorts of personal problems. Bums me out because I like her. I had already LJBF'd her, but now I actually mean
it.

Went swing dancing. Danced with a bunch of woman but didn't try to #close anyone. Several girls showed some IOI. I was a little moody from the date and mulling **** over. The good news is I will probably see most of them again if I go again so I can pick up where I leave off. A few girls remembered me from the last time I was there.

Since it seems to be a tight knit community I'm thinking I should screen more before I ask for number so I don't seem creepy. Might be overthinking that, or worrying about nothing, I don't know.


Sunday
Set up a date from a previous #close. Went to see a movie and dinner. Before anyone busts me on the movie date, I really wanted to see the movie, so that was more for me than anything to do with her. Dinner went really well, I enjoy talking with her. Kiss closed. She's out of town for a week now, will call me when she gets back. Thing with her is, she is four years older and has a daughter.

This is where an AFC part of me kicks in. I feel like I shouldn
t date her because I probably won't have a LTR with her, but I haven't given her any reason to think I will, and she seems very open to a non-serious relationship. She went on about how she never wants to get married and stuff. I still feel a little twisted about it.

In any case, I think I know the answer - spin plates. I need to go out and get numbers this week. If I can't find any good events I'll probably force myself to hit the bars for practice. At least that is entertaining for you guys, since I can post the FR, lol.

Monday
Went boxing. Tired as hell. Drank a lot Sunday and gave blood Saturday, so my body isn't happy. Tomorrow will be better.

Oh, also might have a date lined up for tomorrow to play pool and drink some beer, we'll see.

 

[On Point]

Lately my mental state has been getting a little worn down - like it is hard to get myself up and energetic to go out sarging. I don't mean in a lazy way, I can make myself go do it, but when my heart isn't in it I'm sure woman can tell.

It seems like a bit of burnout. I've gone on three dates in four days. Two aren't woman I'm interested in, the third I have some interest in, but almost more like friends. I think the lack of success right now is getting me down a bit. Some of the places I've been sarging aren't panning out real well in that the type of woman I'm interested in don't seem to be there.

I need to try some new places but I'm having a hard time getting my mind right for it. Maybe I just need to take a week off.

You guys go through anything similar? What do you do to get yourself up again?

 

[Charm]

You guys go through anything similar? What do you do to get yourself up again?

Of course we do. Everyone experiences fatigue and burn-out and frustration. That is where the true growth occurs so you are actually on the right track! By pushing yourself to your very limits, you increase your endurance, capacity and skill. Rest, recover, repeat. The same applies to the gym or any skill actually.