On inner game.

[ArtVandelay]

Part 1: A transformation

I've spent the last week or so doing some self-reflection. I thought about where I was a year ago (4 months removed from a suicide attempt and two week hospitalization, still really depressed and having occasional suicidal thoughts, just not having the motivation to want to act out on them) and where I am right now. I don't have any physical results, but inner-game wise I'm in a better place than I was even two weeks ago.

I'm kind of an emotional guy. I don't cry, like drama, or watch chick flicks (other than a select few that are funny, i.e. When Harry Met Sally) but I'm sensitive and take things seriously. An older female co-worker a few years ago noted that I'm "too serious. And as soon as a girl figures that out, she's going to run." I always dreamed about finding the "right girl"...a 10 physically in my eyes who I also could have things in common with and respect as a person. I thought it was a cure-all for all of my problems in life, but especially my women problems.

I live in a target-poor area and used to use that as an excuse for not meeting women. What I've realized is, yeah, my town isn't exactly Las Vegas, but going to different towns and areas, there are plenty of hot women walking around. I'm the pickiest guy on this site looks-wise (Only like non-chubby/fat white women with pretty faces) and I see plenty of women that are in shape and pretty around.

I was hoping that meeting some "magical" 10 would put an end to my hypersexuality and obsession with beautiful women. I'd still like to meet a "10" someday who I can like inside and out, but I realize even if I met such a girl tomorrow, it wouldn't solve anything. Sure, I'd get laid with a dream girl, have a close, meaningful relationship with a hottie with a personality, but the second we broke up, I'd be right back where I was: Alone, desperate for (attractive) female attention, depressed, borderline suicidal, and pertaining more to this site, no better off with women.

What I've realized is that there are essentially three categories to place women and I've been ignoring one of them: 1.)Not attractive (Either she's fat, non-caucasian, or otherwise not desirable or plain looking), 2.)Attractive (or your "8-9s" like this site likes to call them). 3.)Women that are "your 10" lookswise, who would have to have bad body odor and/or a personality like Kelly Bundy to turn you off. I ignored the 2nd category. I masturbated to the 2nd category, checked out the second category, but wanted to hit a home run with one swing of the bat.

What I've noticed now, now that I'm hungry for the 8-9s, is that they are common. Some of them like to think they have power over men and society because of their looks, and yes, compared to their fat and ugly friends, they look great, but in reality, they're one of many, easily replaceable unless you really like them as a person, too, and even then, you can find another cool hottie.

What I've learned in my MySpace capades is that 5 or below doesn't equal inner beauty, no matter what movies like Shallow Hal want you to think. Fatties and ugly girls wish they were hot girls, listen to the same crappy music and watch The Hills and drink light beer.

Part 2: Current Sticking Points

I no longer have women on pedestals. But I still allow them to have emotional power over me. If I approached a girl, and she gave me her number and told me to call her, I'd overreact positively. If a girl told me she had a boyfriend or that I was ugly, I'd go home and take her word as gospel. Outcome independence is something you can only learn in the field, but it's a catch 22, because it takes a few good responses for you to realize that not all women are *****es.

Years ago, I was on a hot streak, and looking back on it, I was getting a lot of harsh rejections, too, but I ignored them because I was getting good reactions along with it. Then I went into a slump where girls said a lot of things to me that most guys on this site will never hear in their life and it destroyed my confidence as far as women go. I still fear that a negative reaction (not a flu-shot "I have a boyfriend" rejection, but a pepper-spray esque reaction like the one I had) would just send me home and packing.

Let's face it, no one likes to be rejected, not even Brad Pitt, and not even a hot girl, especially when the rejection is personal and ill-mannered. Anyone on this site who says "I don't care about rejection" is either in a zone where they ignore it or have developed a faux emotional detachment.

What I realized, and have to incorporate, is the idea that you, as the guy, are the prize. You're in a meat factory, and when you see a woman, you're choosing to have her for dinner. And if she's foul-tasting, then you can find another one just as good as her or better. It's going to take time, but I'm glad I took women off their pedestal, and urge any guy who is fearful of women to do the same.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

But where's the romance? Lol! Only joking! Great post.

 

[theunflushables]

Well put. I am that way somewhat. I used to date girls who tended to be on the bigger side of things (size 12/14) but in the last relationship that I just ended, I realized I am putting up with too much sh1t to be coming from someone who could be replaced. It was even more of a boost last week when a woman I used to work with and wanted to get with for years admitted she had always had a thing for me. I always did as well but being a chicken sh1t that I was a played it safe and stayed with the sub-par girlfriend at the time. Now she is in a relationship she can't get out of due to financial reasons, so things are on hold for a while. But in the mean time I need to put this new found confidence to use.

 

[Mavrick]

I had a lot to say until I reread your post. I thought I was going to write this amazing post that would change your life, but then I realized something when I went back and read it.

You are selfish.

That's it! All you care about is yourself.

The world does not revolve around you, and when the crap hits the fan, it doesn't mean you have to kill yourself. That's so freaking selfish.

Do you think your kids will care what the heck their mom looks like? They will love her unconditionally. Do you care what your mom looks like? What you really need to be looking for are quality women. Women who bring something wonderful in your life. Attraction is nice, but it's not everything, and looks fade.

You'll never be happy. NEVER! If you keep going the way you are. Find your happiness from within yourself and stop looking for it else where.

Stop being so selfish.

You can debate this if you would like, but I stand by what I have said.

 

[ArtVandelay]

Well you have the right to your opinion, but from reading the posts on here, 9 out of 10 guys here would disagree with your inner beauty theory. This isn't love-shack, it's a site about how to get hot women. Anyone can find an ugly/average/undesirable girlfriend, that's not an accomplishment or something I ever wish to have.

And by the way, I'm 24, and never plan on getting married or having kids anyway, but even if I was 34, I'm 6'1'' and slim, keep myself in shape, why would I want to commit myself to some ugly girl so she can be a parent, a goal I don't have? Isn't that selfish for a girl to want to have kids?

You're 34, you should know the ropes by now. People are by turns selfish. If you weren't selfish, you wouldn't have a job or a computer and you'd be unemployed or work at Burger King because settling would be fine with you.

I don't wish to argue with you, but if you want to talk morals, first of all, don't be a hypocrite, second of all, go to love-shack or take some ethics classes.

Getting back to the post, last year, I was looking at hot women as scarce and valuable commodities and thought that the only way I'd ever have sex with a hottie was to get her in a relationship and keep her. Now, I realize, yeah one day I'd like to meet that "special woman" who has the looks and personality, but in the meantime, blondes, brunettes, redheads, they're all the same to me. If they're hot, I'll bone them. And that's why I know I'll get laid this summer instead of using my left hand 5 times a day.

And btw Maverick, let me ask you a direct question, do you masturbate to fatties or look at National Geographic for porn?

 

[Mavrick]

This site is much more than getting hot women. When you learn that, you will understand.

 

[ArtVandelay]

Answer my question, or stop posting on my thread. I'm not here to argue.

 

[Mavrick]

See, you won't listen. You only want to argue with an answer that's not inline with your beliefs. I'm done with your selfish antics. Have a nice life.

 

[ArtVandelay]

See, you won't listen. You only want to argue with an answer that's not inline with your beliefs. I'm done with your selfish antics. Have a nice life.

Hypocrisy at its best.

If you're dating Rosie O Donnell and masturbating to Queen Latifah, you're a better man than me.

As for being selfish, when did I say otherwise? You chose to invade my post and bring an argument that not only has nothing to do with the post, but is also something you yourself don't practice unless you're flipping burgers and having sex with a misunderstood fatty.

For those of us who want to admit to liking hot women, have you noticed how they're quick to react to negative, or perceived negative attention? I messaged a girl on myspace with a "Hi, I'm Art Vandelay, you're pretty and I'd like to talk to you" generic message. I message her back saying "You look like Catherine Bell, but personality counts for something too you know," not expecting a response back. I get this long detailed message saying "Why are you being rude to me? I never did anything to you. Blah blah blah." I compared her to a hot actress, but she disregarded that and chose to take the whole thing as an insult when I never said anything bad about her.

That's what I'm finally understanding. Young women are f*cked in the head. It's like that episode of Seinfeld where George does the opposite of what he'd usually do. That's how you to have to be around women. Insults are compliments. Lack of romance equals romance to them and leads to sex.

I've let women have power over me for far too long. It's time to go out to eat and have some prime rib.

 

[Mavrick]

You wear your heart on your sleeve. Good luck

 

[swifTy]

Art, i mean this only in the interest of helping you, but you have a ways to go man.

your very detached from what it is to be human. try being more human and see how you go. i bet things work out much better all around. and with women too.

i think this is what mav was tryna say but he used the word selfish. perhaps the right word, perhaps not, i dunno.

 

[ArtVandelay]

"your very detached from what it is to be human."

I'm not disagreeing with you, or with Mav about being selfish.

 

[ArtVandelay]

To those who don't want to talk ethics on a pick-up site, what have you done to not care as much emotionally about outcome when talking to women you want to bang? What's helped me a little is realizing that I'm looking at her as a piece of meat. I don't respect her as a person because I don't know her as a person, therefore she hasn't earned my respect.

 

[oakraiderz2]

See, you won't listen. You only want to argue with an answer that's not inline with your beliefs. I'm done with your selfish antics. Have a nice life.

This has been going on for far too long. People, including myself, have tried to help him in the chat room, but it always came down to his problems. He wouldnt ever listen, only complain. Now he trolls the forum doing the samething except more carefully so people catch on.

Jackbauer, you have a skewed sense of reality and probably need to seek clinical help to get your delusions grandeur under control. Hopefully you will change your perspective after having a slew of people tell you essentially the samethings. Basically, youre like viper...aka elstud...

 

[oakraiderz2]

Do I smell coon?

You think this is an appropriate response to my comment? You try to come off as being elequent; however, comments like this don't particularly get that done.

 

[Wodan]

Do you think your kids will care what the heck their mom looks like? They will love her unconditionally. Do you care what your mom looks like? What you really need to be looking for are quality women. Women who bring something wonderful in your life. Attraction is nice, but it's not everything, and looks fade.

Some of us appreciate certain things alot more than others, I personally think i would be selfish to have a child by a woman i didnt think was extremely attractive. My kids will get a much easier ride through life as a result.

 

[Wodan]

Part 1: A transformation

I've spent the last week or so doing some self-reflection. I thought about where I was a year ago (4 months removed from a suicide attempt and two week hospitalization, still really depressed and having occasional suicidal thoughts, just not having the motivation to want to act out on them) and where I am right now. I don't have any physical results, but inner-game wise I'm in a better place than I was even two weeks ago.

I'm kind of an emotional guy. I don't cry, like drama, or watch chick flicks (other than a select few that are funny, i.e. When Harry Met Sally) but I'm sensitive and take things seriously. An older female co-worker a few years ago noted that I'm "too serious. And as soon as a girl figures that out, she's going to run." I always dreamed about finding the "right girl"...a 10 physically in my eyes who I also could have things in common with and respect as a person. I thought it was a cure-all for all of my problems in life, but especially my women problems.

I live in a target-poor area and used to use that as an excuse for not meeting women. What I've realized is, yeah, my town isn't exactly Las Vegas, but going to different towns and areas, there are plenty of hot women walking around. I'm the pickiest guy on this site looks-wise (Only like non-chubby/fat white women with pretty faces) and I see plenty of women that are in shape and pretty around.

I was hoping that meeting some "magical" 10 would put an end to my hypersexuality and obsession with beautiful women. I'd still like to meet a "10" someday who I can like inside and out, but I realize even if I met such a girl tomorrow, it wouldn't solve anything. Sure, I'd get laid with a dream girl, have a close, meaningful relationship with a hottie with a personality, but the second we broke up, I'd be right back where I was: Alone, desperate for (attractive) female attention, depressed, borderline suicidal, and pertaining more to this site, no better off with women.

What I've realized is that there are essentially three categories to place women and I've been ignoring one of them: 1.)Not attractive (Either she's fat, non-caucasian, or otherwise not desirable or plain looking), 2.)Attractive (or your "8-9s" like this site likes to call them). 3.)Women that are "your 10" lookswise, who would have to have bad body odor and/or a personality like Kelly Bundy to turn you off. I ignored the 2nd category. I masturbated to the 2nd category, checked out the second category, but wanted to hit a home run with one swing of the bat.

What I've noticed now, now that I'm hungry for the 8-9s, is that they are common. Some of them like to think they have power over men and society because of their looks, and yes, compared to their fat and ugly friends, they look great, but in reality, they're one of many, easily replaceable unless you really like them as a person, too, and even then, you can find another cool hottie.

What I've learned in my MySpace capades is that 5 or below doesn't equal inner beauty, no matter what movies like Shallow Hal want you to think. Fatties and ugly girls wish they were hot girls, listen to the same crappy music and watch The Hills and drink light beer.

Part 2: Current Sticking Points

I no longer have women on pedestals. But I still allow them to have emotional power over me. If I approached a girl, and she gave me her number and told me to call her, I'd overreact positively. If a girl told me she had a boyfriend or that I was ugly, I'd go home and take her word as gospel. Outcome independence is something you can only learn in the field, but it's a catch 22, because it takes a few good responses for you to realize that not all women are *****es.

Years ago, I was on a hot streak, and looking back on it, I was getting a lot of harsh rejections, too, but I ignored them because I was getting good reactions along with it. Then I went into a slump where girls said a lot of things to me that most guys on this site will never hear in their life and it destroyed my confidence as far as women go. I still fear that a negative reaction (not a flu-shot "I have a boyfriend" rejection, but a pepper-spray esque reaction like the one I had) would just send me home and packing.

Let's face it, no one likes to be rejected, not even Brad Pitt, and not even a hot girl, especially when the rejection is personal and ill-mannered. Anyone on this site who says "I don't care about rejection" is either in a zone where they ignore it or have developed a faux emotional detachment.

What I realized, and have to incorporate, is the idea that you, as the guy, are the prize. You're in a meat factory, and when you see a woman, you're choosing to have her for dinner. And if she's foul-tasting, then you can find another one just as good as her or better. It's going to take time, but I'm glad I took women off their pedestal, and urge any guy who is fearful of women to do the same.

-You have hypersexuality because you dont have sex and your body is screaming out to have it!

-You defenately have women on pedestals! and the sooner you realise thinking of them as pieces of meat wont ever cancell that one out for you, the better

-Infact the hypersexuality from lack of sex will reduce your standards, if you waste most your life hesitating to get your 10 then finally get her, I think youl wake up sober the night after having sex with her and think she's a 6!

Part 1: A transformation

But I still allow them to have emotional power over me.

Anyone on this site who says "I don't care about rejection" is either in a zone where they ignore it or have developed a faux emotional detachment.

You have plenty of risilience but your ignorance forces you to use it on the wrong things. Its pretty obvious that its held you back from eastern philosophy.

Otherwise you would have realised that feelings just pass by us and its entirely up to us if we want to latch onto them, making a big deal over a woman you dont know rejecting you, why on earth would u want to embrace that feeling??

hurry up and have sex with someone!