On being 'the alpha': a few thoughts I've had

[Slashco]

Well, I haven't posted on these forums in a long while so people likely won't remember me, but... hello anyways :waves:. First of all, sorry if this is the wrong forum for this post, but I couldn't really fit it anywhere else as it's not about dating or attracting women per se. So while wading through a sea of articles about being the "alpha male" and what it entails (strength, confidence, etc), I was reminded of two friends of mine: Let's call them Adam and Alex.

Adam embodies many of the characteristics an 'alpha' should have: He's strong, fit, confident, charming, fun, funny, and knows how to lead others; but moreso, he can make people feel good just being around him.

Alex is also strong, fit and confident, but he's also conceited, inconsiderate and rude. He routinely makes fun of other people's flaws with no regard for their feelings. He's always bragging about his sexual conquests and amazing life, and comparing himself (favorably, of course) to those around him. He enjoys taunting those he sees as inferior with insults and put-downs, then claims he was 'just joking around' if the target reacts. Whereas Adam can attract people to him by his fun, outgoing personality, Alex surrounds himself with wannabes whom he bullies and who live in fear of not measuring up to the 'cool guy'.

I guess what I'm saying is, there are a ton of 'alpha male guides' out there that emphasize the first few characteristics (the ones which both Adam and Alex share): Being strong, being confident, standing up for yourself, going after what you want and so on. But I think the second part, being a decent human being and giving of yourself to the benefit of those around you, is also pretty important, and it's often missing from these 'self improvement' articles. Just something I've been mulling over. If you find it trite, feel free to not reply, otherwise I'd be curious to hear comments

 

[Alle_Gory]

Alex is a beta. Like an alpha, but weaker. His flaws are inner. His being rude, maybe its caused by an over-zealous ego which is unhealthy, his bragging, ego again, comparing himself, ego again. Basically, Alex is fvcked. His fate is sealed unless he controls his unhealthy ego. He will forever be unhappy, and always looking to create misery to the people around himself in order to feel like a bigger man.

Adam has got better things to do. He likes to enjoy the things around him, and has enough inner strength to just accept some things as they are and just let them *be*. I'm not sure how one can get to a state like Adam's without some really deep soul searching. It's not a technique and it cannot be learned.


Overall, this is a good thread. We need more good, truthful sh*t like this. You deserve more reps than I can give.

 

[The Bat]

Agreed.

Adam in this example is the true definition of a alpha male.

 

[Hughman]

Alex doesn't sound like a beta, more like an alpha-wannabe, or just a plain old douche. Problem is, plenty of people can't tell the difference between the real alpha, and the wannabe, until it is too late.

 

[Buddhist Warrior]

" The greatest leader is the one who is barely visible. After all the work is done, the group never refers to him and believes they did it themselves."

- Lao Tzu

An Alpha man ultimately never tries to be Alpha because he already is.

 

[Don Israel]

A quick note : Real Alpha's do not condescend at all . (unless their life depends on it, which is rarely the case)

A real Alpha merely has to look a man in his eyes to show his "elevated status".

 

[Cableguy]

Adam = Alpha

Alex = AMOG douche