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On being sexual: how to be seen as the lover and not the friend

Dirty D

Don Juan
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I always come across lots of guys (and my bisexual female friends too) who want to meet and date women…but don’t want to make it too obvious for her that they want to meet her. That’s a BAD thing because it makes them approach women cautiously, fearful, full on insecurities and with a LACK of confidence..and a woman can smell it a mile away.

What’s even WORSE: once guys have met an interesting, beautiful girl they want to date…they try to do everything to make sure it’s not too obvious for her that they want to date her. Which mostly means they think settling for “being in the friend zone” will make her want them and want them bad, WRONG!

That’s only AFFIRMING that YOU are not of sexual interest to her “because we’re friends.”

Now let me ask you something…do you apologize for who you are?

Because if NO ONE would approach anybody “because that’s too obvious”, then YOU wouldn’t be here today. Your father wouldn’t. Your grandfather wouldn’t. Humankind as we know it would simply DIE if the opposite sexes wouldn’t approach each other and let’s face it guys: while emancipation has done a lot, men are STILL expected to make the first move…unfortunately that’s socially accepted, socially PROGRAMMED behavior (and it’s such a shame, I love aggressive women with some guts on ‘em).

I don’t want to talk about approaching here, but I DO want to show you some ways to “sexualize” conversations – to subtly letting her know that you’re not here to make friends, that you’re the “here to make babies” kinda guy…

This is about being sexual with your mind, your behavior (not your body – that’s a job for porn movies), to HINT at you being a sexual creature (which creates attraction) and the more sexual ideas you start to plant in her mind, her behavior…the more sexual she’ll become too.

My current girlfriend for example is a very pretty girl, got all the curves, black hair, that tanned look by nature (she’s foreign), etc. but when I met her? She was a goodie two shoes: nobody showed her how to be TRULY sexual. But nowadays? SHE is the one jumping on ME to have sex, giving all kinds of hints, etc.

Damn it, there I go with my rants again..anyways, here’s a couple of things I’ve always used wickedly effective:

Sweet talk – instead of how you doing, goodbye, so what are you going to do this weekend and others, why not try putting in words like cutie, honey, baby, beautiful, young lady, gorgeous..in your sentences. Or better: translate the sweet talk in another language! I, among other languages, speak Spanish so for me it is and has been mami, mamita, bonita, chica, angelita, mamacita, etc. Ask any woman for the effect of hearing French, Italian or Spanish and you’ll know why I’m recommending this (plus, you can also tease them with what it means, challenge them to guess it, etc.). Sentences will look like this: How you doin cutie? So what is this young lady doing this weekend? Etc. This comes across a) charming, b) conveys YOU have a sexual interest, c) sexualizing conversations also means SHE will start thinking of YOU in a sexual way and d) when you get yourself a repertoire of these words, you can even sexualize NORMAL conversation…thus ALL talk becomes NON-boring! All talk starts to get a charming, little sexual edge..

Use of speech – one of the best ways to sexualize is by adding PAUSE to sentences, which gives them an ENTIRELY different meaning. Just compare these: “so you really like bananas? Niiice!” With THIS one: “So…you really like…bananas? Niiiice!” All of a sudden you’re insinuating that she really likes round, thick things…instead of saying she likes bananas. It works best if you combine it with facial expressions: giving her a slight, devilish kinda smile when you use a pause…or lifting your eyebrows rapidly a couple of times as to say “oh reaaally?” By the way: saying things like “oh reaaally” and “is that so?” with the same eyebrows and a naughty intonation (stretching the words so it takes longer to pronounce them usually helps) does the trick too.

The badboy mindset – you communicate with her in such a way that she automically KNOWS you’re talking to her sexual side…by turning most of the things you talk about into a sex show and by reversing things. If she talks about ANY round, long object OR ball shaped object (bananas, sausages, sticks, pucks, football, soccer ball, basketball, tennis ball, etc.) you tease her about how she likes them a little bit TOO much, by luring her into a ball busting move by asking set-up questions (for example: if she likes tennis, you’ll ask…how much balls do you like to play? And whenever the number is bigger than one, accuse her of being a SUPERfreak, lol!) and whenever she says she’s a quiet girl/not going to do anything this weekend, etc.…accuse her of how ALL the wild ones always say that, that she just has to admit it, etc. Next to this, talk about sex related topics or sex itself from time to time. The best playful tease will always be accusing her of the opposite of how she is/wants to be: in your eyes…the quiet girl is a superfreak, the sporty girl only works out so much because she eats at McDonalds 4 times a week, the popular girl is quietly a nerdy bookwurm, etc.

Another very sexual thing to do is if she tells you you’re mean/cheeky/so rude/crazy and so on just look at her and say “I know…and YOU love it” with a slight smile. Also a good one: if SHE is being naughty, teasing you or whatever..tell her that you’re gonna give her a spanking, if she’s good give her a smack on the booty “because she’s always so sweet” and…well, I could go on all day with this!

Okay, okay: one more thing then. Make a game out of everything: if she wants you to help her, advise her, answer her question, tell her something etc. ask “what do I get in return?”, accept it sometimes, decline saying it’s not good enough and tell her to come up with something better or you WON’T do anything at all. To make sure you don’t seem too greedy, you can switch it up with letting her guess for it: give vague hints, let her guess again and then…NEVER tell her! Or say she’ll get a reward for guessing it right, tell her..and never give the reward. Make a game out of everything..

Compliments – and now a very direct way: compliment her on a feminine, sexual thing you’ve noticed about her and liked. DON’T go and say “you have beautiful eyes”, because every guy says that AND it doesn’t come across sincere: she hears that BS 100 times a day. Us men are TERRIBLE in complementing people, because we compliment without DETAILS, without being specific. A good way to compliment someone and come across sincere is by describing details. For example: “You have this big, beautiful eyes with that sparkle in them…that joy of life that you just want to share with the world. It’s really cute” Now THAT will make her shy, no doubt! Some areas most men skip when complimenting her: her hips, her way of walking, her looks (how she looks at you or other people with her eyes), etc. If you’re wondering why your complimenting never works, it’s because you’re not specific enough from the get-go. I’ve successfully approached dozens of women using a very specific compliment to open the conversation.

Have fun with these!
 

cw92

Don Juan
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yeah man good job i really like the pointers
 

Irs88

Don Juan
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good post. Will keep this in mind.
 

46and2aheadofme

Don Juan
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Here's a great line for the compliment section: (after you've gotten her to smile or laugh) "you have a really infectious smile/ laugh" (as a general rule you should be smiling/ laughing as you say this because it would just be weird if you said it with an emotionless face). This makes her feel more comfortable to smile or laugh around you (which is a really good thing) and I've even had it where a girl and I were just sitting across from each other laughing simply for the fact that the other person was laughing. Also its nothing like other compliments girls get every day.
 
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