"On a break" with my GF...

[JamesRiverford]

I am a 26 yr old former AFC who transformed himself into something much better, mostly adopting David D's ****y funny persona (because that is actually how I am, but just hadn't been that way with beautiful women). Six months ago, I met a girl who became my first girlfriend, and I'm also her first boyfriend. During our initial dating period and through the beginning of the relationship, I remained my ****y-funny, driven, and motivated self. She could be classified as a classy, nice, and pleaser-type girl. Two months ago, I went through a really tough time in my life, so mentally tough that my girlfriend had to almost become my unofficial psychologist. I was depressed and didn't nearly at all display my alpha-male motivated qualities. Needless to say, she lost some attraction to me and recently asked that we "take a break".

By this, we supposedly have plans of getting back together, but I also live in NY and she is a law student (and very intelligent) in Boston, so we only see each other on weekends at best. Basically, at this point she has a feeling of power over me and had felt sorry for me, and I couldn't take care of her and be a man about it. I feel like anything that I do now is viewed through a veil of pity. I feel myself trying to "win her back" and I can feel myself slipping back into some of my old AFC ways.

What should I do? I don't want to lose contact with her (and she still calls/texts daily), but don't want to be needy. Please let me know your thoughts on how to proceed from here. Thank you!

 

[Mr. Wolf]

What should I do?

You're David DeAngelo, you tell us..... When someone pushes you away, push them away even further... Laws of attraction. You're David D., you should know this.

I don't want to lose contact with her

She's guilty for leaving you. She's leaving you, you won't see each other again for a long time. She wants to fail you by talking to you so often and forcing you to break, fail, crash, and burn.. That way she can move on from you and forget you as some chump she dated in the past.

Don't talk to her. No text messages. Take a break.



What kind of stuff happened in your life?

 

[redspicyflag]

Go spin more plates

She'll come back once she knows you don't need her

 

[j0n024]

I am sorry to ask this but who is David Deangelo ...I mean I hear his name a lot but I have never understood who he is...care to explain?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Can I ask you question? What happens when she tells you that she's "kinda talking to somebody and you LJBF? Then what are you going to do. This let's take a "break sh*t is a major sh*t test and you know what? You failed miserably. Let me translate from the womenese what she actually told you:

"You know Jimmy, I know your up against it and going through it, but your inability to deal with your problems just shows me that your not a man. Here you are crying and whining to me about your problems. If you can't handle your problems, how in the hell are you going to help me with mine. Your a sweet guy and all and I really like the way you suck on my ****, but I need to be with somebody who can handle life's adversities a little bit better than you. In the mean time we'll "take a break," until if and when I find that person. If not, then you being my old standby, we'll get back together again.

So Jimmy, what are you going to do? Sit by and wait for this come back to you knowing that the only she did was because you couldn't find anybody she liked better than you? Or are you going to be a man, throw on your peacock gear and sarge some chicks?

P.S. Avoid long distance relationships and put her in the "booty call," catergory. It also sounds like she my have somebody else anyway.

Also ween yourself from talking to her. I'd suggest that you don't talk to her until after the New Year. If she asks where you have been. Tell her you were out on a date and you spent the night a this girl's house. It's impertive you that you regain control, if that is at all possible.

I stress to you DO NOT CONTACT THIS BROAD AFTER DECEMBER 29TH. DON'T TALK TO HER AGAIN UNTIL LIKE JANUARY 3RD, 4TH, OR 5TH.

Oh Yeah. Since your on a "break" You have plans for the New Year. If you have them with her break them. Better yet, pull a no show. This b*tch has to be severely punished for disrespecting you like that.

P.P.S. Hate to tell you dude, but your still an AFC, no one who calls himself a pickup artist would even begin to agree on going on a "break," with his girlfriend. Hell, a PUA's girl would know better than to even suggest some asinine sh*t like that because she knows that he'll have another chick that night within a week at the lastest. Good luck. Happy New Year and report back. Oh and welcome to the community.

 

[Mr. Wolf]

James, forget about girlfriends, concetrate on yourself brother.. David DeAngelo stuff concentrates on women.. Check out How to Become Alpha Male by John Alexander, advertised on sosuave.com .. That be a good read and practising will snap you out of this rut.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks

Read Joekerr's thread on breaks.

Its absolutely brilliant, my favorite Joekerr thread of all time in fact.

Also you went through a rough patch in life and she was only there for you as long as she could stand.

It shows that when the going gets tough she gets going.

Plus this pity b.s you have talked about won't help matters any with her looking at you from that warped viewpoint.

I think its best you read Joekerr's thread that I linked and seriously consider starting new and looking for someone else as this chick has showed she won't stay by you through thick and thin.

She didn't believe in you enough to break through your bad times and recover.

She just bailed which is fine but also shows exactly what she thinks of you.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Just move on and meet another girl.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Hey dude. I'm curious what happenend with you and this chick?

 

[Tear Gas]

was she in any way responsible for your break down? women are great at destroying a man's integrity by manipulative means. Most do this to guys that were once alpha males, but they feel threatened and break them down cause theyre scared you won't respect her and hit on other girls in the process. Never let a women change you in any way, shape or form. When you give off the impression that she is the only girl you can get, she will **** all over you. Show her that she means nothing to you and that you can get a girl in any moment. She'll want you more after that, i guarantee it.

 

[DonGorgon]

Leave her alone.. until she cares more. about you...

 

[DannykDJ]

DO NOT CONTACT HER (CAPS!!!11!)

About a month ago my gf of one year was under alot of stress and she had been being a b!tch to me for about a month. i lost my temper and insulted her. I felt horrible because I made a personal attack on her and her family. I hurt her very badly with my words and she wanted us to take a break for awhile since we were fighting and getting on each others nerves so much.(I don't blame her I would drop someone if they said to me what I said to her)

I made the mistakes of showing her my emotions. I called multiple times everyday crying, apologizing, and telling her how much I love her and how we could make it work. Each day I pushed her farther and farther away until now my gf of one year won't even answer the phone. Had I just gave her the space and cut all contact odds are she would've came back to me and I most likely would still be dating her right now

Anytime you show your emotions around a woman your value drops. Even though the point of a relationship is to support each other in every way possible the emotional support is only the mans job. Except from the death of a loved one under no circumstance should you ever let your gf or wife see your emotions. Society today has trained women that "real men" are calm, confident, and emotionless. It has been proven that young boys are much more emotional than young girls but they are conditioned at a young age not to ever show emotion because it's not considered masculine to be emotional.

My advice is to cut all contact with her immediately even if she calls you. I know it hurts and it seems cold, but it really is the best thing you can do now. Remember in the future that you can never benefit by letting others see you emotional. I learned this the hardest way possible because for the last month I have felt horrible because I completely dropped the ball along with my own balls with the hottest woman I have ever dated.

Breaks are just a womans way of saying "you are a complete wuss and can't handle the truth that I have lost all attraction towards you and I don't want to feel responsible if you kill yourself if I do an actual breakup so I will just keep you around until you give up"

Walk away with your dignity while you still can. I guarantee she will come back if you man up. Choice is yours.

 

[IPalindromeI]

Hey dude. I'm curious what happenend with you and this chick?

My guess? I would bet a large amount of change that she was like 99 people out of a 100 who request a break: they do it because someone else is in the picture. The 'space' and 'time' they ask for isn't for themselves - it is needed to accommodate a new person.

My answer to 'we need a break' - I hand them a solid breakup and cut them so far out of my life that they have to practically pay to get back in, if I let them in at all.

 

[chivalry_x]

You take priority over her. Go find yourself, even if it means having nothing to do with her (since you seem to be depending on her).

Theoretically, this should make her more attracted to you again, but that's not why you should be doing it.