omg wtf is wrong with me...

[BannedGod]

I can't do any cold approaches, at all. None. Today at school I had so many good occasions, but everytime I try to jump on one, I can't. It's like some stupid, annoying voice inside of me tells me: "Don't do it! you'll embarass yourself, you'll only be bothering her, wasting both your time and her's, blablabla". I just can't get past that stupid voice, no matter how I try. I already tried a little while ago in a mall, I couldn't do it. I tried to warm me up by talking with a few clerks, but once again when I tried with random people it didn't work. I get so nervous as soon as I try.

Worse part is, I'm sure once I do a few cold approaches, the others will be so much easier for me. It's always like that for me. Say I get a new job, I'm stressed as hell the first few times, and once I really get the hang of the job, I become completely relaxed. I'm sure it would be the same thing with cold approaches, but I can't do the first few to break the ice!

I need some help to figure out how to break that friggen ice (even with memorized openers I can't do it V_V)

 

[L777]

You know the easiest way to ge over this? Think like a natural. Instead of saying to yourself, "I'm gonna do X amount of cold approaches today." Just say to yourself, "I'm an attractive, confident, sociable guy...I don't get rejected because I have no outcome dependance" Well, maybe not that exactly....but just try to get into the mindset that 'sarging' isn't something you've set out to do especially today, it should just be something that comes natural....you'll never get rejected that way anyway, at least not outright.

"Who lies more?" Is a blatant, crap pick up line.
"Hi, how are you, I'm (your name)" Shows your confidence, self assurance and social skills/value.

I realise this reply is disjointed, but the concept I'm advocating is difficult to explain in person, let alone through text. It was a change I noticed in my own head after like, 18 months of knowing about the community, and only really comes when you're completely secure in yourself and your abilities. When it happens you will never have AA again, cos it just becomes the thing that you naturally do. Lol....I hope you have some idea what I'm getting at.

 

[Themanthatcan]

Don't think of it like it's a big deal. Like "Cold approaching" is some crazy technique or something..Don't even get the word "Cold approach" in your head. If you see a girl you should just naturally gravitate over there and start conversation. Don't psych yourself out over it. If you do, you'll come off nervous.

 

[Play the Game]

Fvck cold approaches. Do warm approaches with situational humor. Don't be a creepy PUA.

 

[BannedGod]

Don't think of it like it's a big deal. Like "Cold approaching" is some crazy technique or something..Don't even get the word "Cold approach" in your head. If you see a girl you should just naturally gravitate over there and start conversation. Don't psych yourself out over it. If you do, you'll come off nervous.

Even that I can't do it. I can't get past that stupid anxiety!!! :cuss:

 

[Vypros]

Why don't you try "pressureless" approaches for a while?

What I mean by that is this:

Why don't you try approaching old ladies, ugly girls, or other guys(not in a sexual way of course). Just start approaching people that are less intimidating to you and get used to that. Or you can start approaching girls that you think are attractive and just saying something and walking away. No asking for their number or anything. The idea is to break your paralyzation by non-intimidating approaches so that you get used to the idea of just approaching.

 

[Trapper]

why you r programming yourself? just be positive, be natural, say "hi...how r u doing?" ....if its not work, come here and blame me...

good luck

 

[Jay Jay]

Nothing is wrong with you! Most dudes NEVER get the balls to do it. That means simply by trying to work yourself up to it you are ahead of most guys.

Its not that big of a deal. You know before I learned to approach I felt that learning to approach would open up this amazing vista of opportunity. All it did was teach me that most girls (like guys) are idiots.

Go figure.

So much emphasis gets placed on the ability to approach. You only approach to qualify!

Approaching is only a first step.

Don't be in the head space that the girl you are approaching is a prize you are trying to win. You don't know if you want her yet!

Think of it like trying on a pair of jeans; you don't have to buy em, sure they look good on the shelf, but that doesn't mean you want em wrapped around your hips every couple of days for the next year or two! you're just seeing if they fit good.

So don't stress! Its all good.

Anyway...

Go check the boot camp in the bible. Do the first couple of weeks then whatever you are comfortable. That'll help.

JJ

 

[Obsidian]

Don't even get the word "Cold approach" in your head. If you see a girl you should just naturally gravitate over there and start conversation.

well said

Fvck cold approaches. Do warm approaches with situational humor. Don't be a creepy PUA.

Technically, I think the "warm approach" you're describing would still be a cold approach. Your advice is correct, nonetheless.

Pretty much the only alternative to your "warm approach" idea would be to use a canned line -- which is kinda lame.

Nothing is wrong with you! Most dudes NEVER get the balls to do it.

True, or in some cases, they just realize the absurdity of it. Imo, getting a girl's # without knowing much at all about her is pretty pointless anyway. unless you're just looking for a ONS, which I'm not. So I'm not real big on cold approaches, myself.

 

[Obsidian]

wow, cool, I'm a "Master Don Juan" now

 

[dap]

start on gross girls that you dont really care about. as you get more comfortable with them, work your way up the ladder. simple as pie

 

[Kwello]

That doesn't really work well man. You need that sense of panic that only a hot woman can really give you. I personally find that if it's not someone I want to meet, it's not someone that I can feign interest in for practise either.

 

[Zerix]

Funny.. I could've sworn I thought about making the exact same post.

Let's help each other?