"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Olympic lifting

DJ Girevik

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Does anyone else here do olympic weightlifting? I'm adequate as far as that goes. I can clean + jerk 198 pounds (almost able to do 204), and snatch roughly 143 pounds (but my form sucks in snatch). I've been doing much more form work lately after tweaking my back in an attempted 204 screw up though, so hopefully I'll soon be at my 264 lb clean and jerk that my coach says I should be doing right now...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Soshyopathe

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How is your snatch less than your C&J?

Anyhow, that's a good C&J, keep it up. What's your weight?
 

DJ Girevik

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Snatch form is tough. Everyone on the oly lifting team at my school has a lower snatch than clean and jerk.

I weigh 230, but have more body fat then I care for. I'm going to start deadlifting a lot more though to train the same motion that I use in cleans and snatches, and now that my coach got the 88 pound beast (k-bell) in I'm doing one armed snatches (one of only 3 in the whole school who can do that) to work on explosiveness and arm strength.
 

Soshyopathe

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yeah, 1-armed snatches are hard as F.

Sorry, I got my terms mixed up earlier. Snatch should be less than C&J. Deadlifting will definately be a good addition to your repetoire.
 

DJ Girevik

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Not to mention actually possible to do, the freakin lower back strains took a crap on my squatting. Although I've learned that I won't have that problem if I tighten my abs like a suit of armor while doing it. Haven't put it to the test yet...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Soshyopathe

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Actually, your lower back is probably straining because your abs are too strong compared to your back. You need them to be pretty even. And, yes, deads are absolutely essential to any powerlifter. They will make your back the strongest muscle group in your body.
 

DJ Girevik

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Hmm... what I've heard was that it was cuz my lower back is extremely flexible, but my abs are inhumanly strong. Deads should even that nicely though.
 

Soshyopathe

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right, abs are too strong. I don't know if back flexibility has anything to do with it.

I don't understand how you were olympic training, and they weren't having you deadlift.
 

DJ Girevik

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My coach is in love with squats, and considers them superior to deads. I don't see why really... BTW, my latest back spasm (the one last friday, and what was BY FAR the most painful one) seems to have jarred what was out of place in my back back into place, and my back feels perfect now! I did the ab-tightening thing and that also helped a lot, kept my form and my back straight. I didn't dead today but I 1-arm and 2-arm swung the 88 pound kettlebell, which not only worked the hell outta my back but taxed every other muscle in my body just to keep me balanced!

BTW, I'm not actually on the oly lifting team at the moment. I might join it later this year though. But I don't think the oly lifting team concentrates much on deads either.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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