Older woman advice

[Von_S]

Hey fellas, I met this woman at a singles event (I know, I know). She and her cute friend were standing there, I walked up shot some game and got her number. Since then we've hung out a few times, a lunch, a dinner, drinks with some of her friends. So far I'm not getting a clear cut vibe from her, she's definitely cool to hang out with and she doesn't do the usual stringing me along kinda bullsh*t, I think so far its been about 50/50 in who initiates a little meet up. Anyway, I get a text from her a few days ago, "lets go to dinner Sunday" at a place that is literally walking distance from my apartment. Between now and then, I'm going to clean my place top to bottom, pick up a bottle of wine to just "happen" to have around should she come back to my place. She's older, professional and works a lot of hours, just the kind of woman I like, I would be cool with just being her friend but I'm not sure how to escalate things, seems like things are very "friendly" at this point, however I met her at a singles even and she did give me her number so she should know what my deal is.

Suggestions?

 

[jophil28]

I think so far its been about 50/50 in who initiates a little meet up. Anyway, I get a text from her a few days ago, "lets go to dinner Sunday" at a place that is literally walking distance from my apartment.

Women 'position' themselves in ways that make themselves available to men to whom they have an attraction. This means YOU, buddy.
She is doing her part in "the dance", so now it is your job to take the lead.

 

[SXS]

But how old is she ?

 

[Von_S]

But how old is she ?

38 but she looks 32

 

[Tazman]

I would be cool with just being her friend

From my experience this mindset isn't what you want. You don't want to become "friends" with her, you want to have sex with her. If sex isn't possible because she's not interested, move on. Don't become a pseudo friend to stay in contact with her. Take all the things you find cool about her and imagine her as an ugly, fat chick. Still want to be friends?

 

[countermart]

Try this:
When you meet her for dinner walk straight up to her and kiss her on the lips. Hold the kiss one split second longer and slightly harder than just a hello kiss on the lips. Turn away quickly like nothing happened. Do it a little quickly and a little hard like you are in a rush to get into the restaurant. She needs to get just a hint that you are sexual and would take her, but also paradoxically that you are not concerned if that does not happen.

Immediately, turn her and take her into the restaurant, or alternatively leave her swaying there for a second keep going, turn back and say “come on slow coach”.

(Alternatively, since your house is close you could arrange to meet at your place and go on to dinner. I’ve done this a few times and we never got to the dinner... we only made it to the bed.... and so had to scrounge around in the fridge for a snack at 3am....sob, sob).

It things go well at dinner ask her to have coffee at your place, right around the corner.

If she says yes then make sure you make another move to kiss her again, perhaps as soon as you go into the house, or at some other appropriate time. The rest should be history.

If she says no or makes an excuse, show absolutely no concern whatsoever. This is critical. Remember “you are the prize”, you have the options so why should you care? She is missing out.

Just carry on as if nothing has happened with the dinner.

At the start if you go to kiss her on the lips and she turns and you kiss her on the cheek, again show no concern. Let her do this a couple of times on a couple of dates, but it she keeps this up say with a joking voice something like, “You know honestly Gertrude I’ve gone further with my great grandmother than I am getting with you. What’s up, should I change my toothpaste or something?”

In other words mate if you do not make a move soon you will lose her.

If you make a move you may also lose her, but at least you will know.

The basic fact of the matter is that it is most commonly us guys that must make all the moves and risk rejection.

You either crash through or you crash...no other choices.
Good luck.

Countermart.

 

[Von_S]

Take all the things you find cool about her and imagine her as an ugly, fat chick. Still want to be friends?

As a mater of fact I would, she has a nice personality, she's intelligent and I actually do like hanging out with her, and I'm smart enough not to be her "shoulder to cry on" who secretly wants to bone her.

 

[SXS]

Dude, she is kinda old for you...

Does she have kids ? Have been divorced ?

 

[Von_S]

Dude, she is kinda old for you...

I'm not trying to marry her; no kids, not sure if she's been divorced.

 

[jophil28]

Dude, she is kinda old for you...

Does she have kids ? Have been divorced ?

Did you guys know that pvssy does not age at the same rate as the rest of the female body ? All true

 

[jophil28]

Try this:
When you meet her for dinner walk straight up to her and kiss her on the lips. Hold the kiss one split second longer and slightly harder than just a hello kiss on the lips. Turn away quickly like nothing happened. Do it a little quickly and a little hard like you are in a rush to get into the restaurant. She needs to get just a hint that you are sexual and would take her, but also paradoxically that you are not concerned if that does not happen.

Immediately, turn her and take her into the restaurant, or alternatively leave her swaying there for a second keep going, turn back and say “come on slow coach”.

A great strategy to use with a 38 year old..

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Von,
Nothing wrong with carting out a 38 year old,many a good tune played on an old fiddle.having said that,I feel you are lacking confidence,this Womans personality seems to be keeping you at a distance.I fear it is the Friendship bucket for you,that's very hard to crawl out of.I would say she has lost her Libido and just needs a little arm candy to boost her ego.