Older DJ's and their actions

[Viagra4Soul]

Much of what the Pook writes about, and most other sages I read, are aimed squarely at the under 30's and single males looking to date, and remain dating (not entering into committed relationships). But half the world are entering relationships, have stopped dating, have come out of relationships at a much older age and are newly dating, and are now 'mature' (well over their 30's).

The problem is - becoming soft, slow and undesirable is a constant battle for men and women in these age groups and relationship areas. For one small example, trying 'action dates' like rock-climbing when you're 45 may not be the best option for a new couple (great when you were 25 of course - and if you can find a 45 year old woman with a small child who wants to go rock climbing for a date, good luck to you!).

What DJ techniques do you personally believe continue to work in older age groups, and especially for those already inside relationships, to keep them hot and alive?

 

[Desdinova]

The basic principles work for both under and over 30. The same things that attract a 35 year old woman will attract a 21 year old woman.

And I've NEVER gone rock climbing in my life.

 

[Slickster]

The problem is - becoming soft, slow and undesirable is a constant battle for men and women in these age groups and relationship areas.

Yep it's a constant battle but not impossible.

I don't really think there is an answer. You need to stay fit, healthy, and active. I play sports weekly with some guys well into their 50's and even the odd 60+ guy. These guys are keeping up just fine with us 30 somethings and in some cases they're better. Heck my buddy's dad ran a triathalon last weekend and he's 60+.

Don't get lazy and boring. Look for women with the same outlook.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Much of what the Pook writes about, and most other sages I read, are aimed squarely at the under 30's and single males looking to date, and remain dating (not entering into committed relationships). But half the world are entering relationships, have stopped dating, have come out of relationships at a much older age and are newly dating, and are now 'mature' (well over their 30's)...

What DJ techniques do you personally believe continue to work in older age groups, and especially for those already inside relationships, to keep them hot and alive?

Good question.

Here's what I would say to guys who are in a quandary over things like this:

From my point of view, if you still feel like you have to do magic tricks that rival those of David Copperfield or Chris Angel to keep your woman happy--------then you're probably with the wrong woman.

I believe that as a man ages, (along with staying in the best physical shape that he can), he should primarily focus on staying actively interested and excited by life. Then, as a result of his pursuit of things that interest him, he'll tend to attract certain kinds of women TO him-----and KEEP them attracted.

If we are fortunate enough to be able to pick our women wisely (women who share our core beliefs and are of similar inner substance), then we increase our chances of maintaining their interest as long as we stay "INTERESTING".


V.U.

 

[Scaramouche]

dear Viagra,
Dancing will fill the Bill Socially,intellectually and Exercise wise.

 

[L B]

My action date is lunch date with lots of groping. I can se myself doing that into my 90s.

 

[Viagra4Soul]

I'll give you a practical scenario to illustrate from my current situation. No problems here, no whining - I'm happy with how things are going. But this is reality. I'll call the lady 'Target', for now, as I illustrate.

Target is 42, travels for corporate job, 3.5 yr old child at heel, single, father of child overseas and little contact, does EVERYTHING for him herself.
Me 45, 18 month old child, lives with his Mum, have him every 2nd weekend, Fri-Sunday. Neither child has been introduced to each other yet - we're only a few weeks into the dating and you're very careful to shield your child from (possibly) multiple nameless strangers wandering in and out of their lives.

Sucks to be us huh? Not at all. Love my life and deal with the time constraints. My son is worth it.

This week - she has work functions on Mon-Thur each night (Xmas time). I have a few myself. I have my son on Friday until Sunday PM. Next date will be from about 7pm Sunday till whenever, where we celebrate our joint December birthdays. That is the only window that is practical and takes into account both our children's needs.

Mature dating is more complex, practically. I'm not saying DJ philosophies can't be maintained. But they do need to be altered somewhat from the script a 25 year old couple of no-kids singles can follow.

I think dancing is a great date idea by the way - just not sure what's available Sunday night after 7pm here.

 

[davewe]

To quote Groucho regarding aging, "You're only as old as the woman you feel."

 

[vatoloco]

What about hobbies and interests? Some of them can be shared. Sometimes a good game of pictionary at home can be really fun, especially if you have a buzz!

 

[Yahooey]

Post moved.

Posted in wrong thread. Darn multi-tabs

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

VIAGRA, have a read of this:

The Mature Man

 

[Viagra4Soul]

Rollo - nicely written blog, thanks for the link. I read it, and all the comments afterwards - fascinating views on both sides.

For me, it's simple. In my mid 30's I was getting young girls again, just as many of you did. The youngest when I was 35, was just 19. But to a girl, they bored me stupid. If I had only been driven by the sex, the power over them, the ability to teach them, that would have been fine. But unfortunately, when in a longer term relationships (which is what I enjoy most), they left me wanting.

So I'm looking at finding mental equals, with shared generational experiences that make us both vibe. Yes, these women are older, come with baggage, are harder work. But good ones are out there, and I'm willing to do the work.

 

[Rubirosa]

I enjoy women my age and slightly younger (mid 30's). I've found however that most women in their 30's if they're childless, will always be pressured by the biological clock....Meaning that they will only bang you for so long before they start to question your commitment to them.
On the other hand, most of the women I've dated in their 40's are usually divorced with kids. They will bang you indefinetly if the sex is good and you treat them nice and they have a hazy image of you being faithful.
Late 40's, they seem to be pressured that the last vestiges of their attractivness is slipping away, and that they better find their 2nd husband NOW !
What's weird is that now I see how women age in both looks and attitude, and yet, I seem to age much slower. I look better than I did in my 20s and 30s, and not only that, I have the lifestyle that I always wanted. So I feel that I'm constantly peaking, yet they are constantly clinging.
Sometimes I question whether these women would have banged me when they were 19, but other times I simply don't care and I enjoy myself regardless (I compromise saying that their faces looked better when they were 19, but I get to now play with their giant breast implants that they got at 39).

 

[Rubirosa]

I really didn't answer the O.P. question...........
I just project that I'm a fun guy and that my life presents an escape from their world of boredom and responsibility..........Oh, and I treat them as Sex objects as well...........................

 

[Zarky]

I'm not sure an "action date" is a good idea for any age in the beginning of a rel'p. Unless by "action" you mean screwing.

Don't spend more than $40 on a date before you've screwed her. This is especially important for rich guys to remember. Yeah, even if you make $100,000 a month, don't spend more than $40 on a date before you've screwn her.

Older guys get lazy and lose their creativity and try to make up for it by increasing their expenditures. Bad, bad idea.

 

[scrouds]

So I'm looking at finding mental equals, with shared generational experiences that make us both vibe. Yes, these women are older, come with baggage, are harder work. But good ones are out there, and I'm willing to do the work.

Don't bother. Bang the young hotties and find fulfillment with the friends you keep.

 

[Viagra4Soul]

Not bad advice Scrouds.

I'm actually thinking of a pre-emptive break-up on the current target anyway - major shift to low interest this week and cold/passionless phone calls, she's always too busy to talk, and trying to run our dating now as she has the time issues and wants to control it, I've been guilty of too much AFC stuff early on as well.

Now where's Jariel's step by stepper on the pre-emptive breaker gone?

 

[davewe]

I'm not sure an "action date" is a good idea for any age in the beginning of a rel'p. Unless by "action" you mean screwing.

Don't spend more than $40 on a date before you've screwed her. This is especially important for rich guys to remember. Yeah, even if you make $100,000 a month, don't spend more than $40 on a date before you've screwn her.

Older guys get lazy and lose their creativity and try to make up for it by increasing their expenditures. Bad, bad idea.

I like Leykis, have heard him say this often, and understand the general concept, but I disagree, especially as I get older. And that ain't laziness or lack of creativity. I'm a professional writer and feel reasonably creative.

The key for guys at any age is that they should not do with a woman what they would not ordinarily do themselves. So if you're 16; Burger King and Mini Golf is a good date, cause that's what you'd do on a Friday night anyway.

At 58, when I take a young woman out (and I never date anyone who is not considerably younger) I only take her to things that I would ordinarily do or places I would ordinarily go. I dont take her to Burger King cause that's not where I go. If I want to eat, we go to a place acceptable to me. If I want a drink, I drink where I want and what I want. If we decide to travel, we dont stay in a 1 star hotel, cause I don't do Motel 6. Finally, the last thing I do is count how much I am spending to make sure I am under $40.

OTOH, I don't spend extra in order to impress anyone. I go where I want and allow her to accompany me, knowing that if she doesn't want to, someone else will.

IOW, if you're young and poor, don't spend money you don't have to impress her. If you're old and richer, don't hold back just to make a statement. In both cases do what you'd ordinarily do and allow her to accompany you.

 

[Zarky]

^^^^
All right, for you, we'll allow $45

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Zarky,
come on mate,wot about a Tip....Nah $50.....But seriously if you have to buy it,why not see one of the Girls in the Village?cheaper in the long run,once these little Gold Diggers catch on that you are their mobile ATM,you are on a slippery slide to nowhere!