feelingloved
Don Juan
I know for me, my loves for my first GFs were the strongest.
And after 15 years, I am more attracted to the idea of hooking up (at least temporarily) with my first few GF, over and above my more recent ones.
And I wonder about this.
Is it because first loves are stronger, and remain so over the years?
Is it because I was more of a relationship-inexperienced trusting AFC, and put more effort in.
Is it because the girls I dated 12-15 years ago were younger, thus more energetic and beautiful in my mind, as I recall them?
Or is it an evolutionary program, where by a social mechanism makes us choose to welcome back into our social group & life, an older friend in preference to a more recent friend. In ancient times when populations & tribes were smaller, perhaps this was a choice with evolutionary implications.
An interesting experiment would be to have a female rat live with a male rat for a year, then have the female rat live with different male rat for the second year.
Then have a year separation with no contact with males. Then design a test where the female could attempt to chew through 2 nets to each of the males. (The males would be in a wire cage, but there would be a rope webbing which the female could chew through to reach the cage).
It would then be interesting to see the female rat order of preference.
So my x just left me for a new younger richer taller funnier guy. And my 1 year of familiar love could not compete with the enticement of the new infatuation feelings she is feeling.
However, In time
the feelings of infatuation will fade, and what will remain
in essence is a "feelings competition" between his new familiar love and my old familiar love.
Thats what I am thinking about, from an advantage/disadvantage point of view.
Which is more advantageous to feelings of desire, love & connection? (From a female's perspective)
Does the advantage go to a far past lover or a recent lover?
And after 15 years, I am more attracted to the idea of hooking up (at least temporarily) with my first few GF, over and above my more recent ones.
And I wonder about this.
Is it because first loves are stronger, and remain so over the years?
Is it because I was more of a relationship-inexperienced trusting AFC, and put more effort in.
Is it because the girls I dated 12-15 years ago were younger, thus more energetic and beautiful in my mind, as I recall them?
Or is it an evolutionary program, where by a social mechanism makes us choose to welcome back into our social group & life, an older friend in preference to a more recent friend. In ancient times when populations & tribes were smaller, perhaps this was a choice with evolutionary implications.
An interesting experiment would be to have a female rat live with a male rat for a year, then have the female rat live with different male rat for the second year.
Then have a year separation with no contact with males. Then design a test where the female could attempt to chew through 2 nets to each of the males. (The males would be in a wire cage, but there would be a rope webbing which the female could chew through to reach the cage).
It would then be interesting to see the female rat order of preference.
So my x just left me for a new younger richer taller funnier guy. And my 1 year of familiar love could not compete with the enticement of the new infatuation feelings she is feeling.
However, In time
the feelings of infatuation will fade, and what will remain
in essence is a "feelings competition" between his new familiar love and my old familiar love.
Thats what I am thinking about, from an advantage/disadvantage point of view.
Which is more advantageous to feelings of desire, love & connection? (From a female's perspective)
Does the advantage go to a far past lover or a recent lover?