OLD - Getting matches but no dates

[djthiago1]

I'm getting lots of "lets get to know each other better first", "I need to talk to you more online before I'm comfortable.", "It's too soon." , that kind of crap.
How do you guys handle this? Should i give in and waste my time texting more?

I'm setting up my dates in public places during the day and they always seem a bit afraid to go.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Gotta be more hardcore

 

[djthiago1]

Gotta be more hardcore

Please elaborate.

 

[ubercat]

4 - 5 messages max ask her out. Then next. If she messages you again just say ..oh sorry you must have missed my message and send the same message again. If you entertain these chicks you might as well be hanging out on Instagram

 

[btownbuck2012]

Always escalate when you're in person. No need to go overboard on the flirting and innuendos when you're trying to set up a date. Keep the texting/convo to a minimum in terms of flirting, ask for her number, CALL her, chat her up for a bit to build some rapport and set the date. On the date itself is when you amp up the physicality, the long eye contact, the flirting, going in for the kiss, etc. You're probably coming on too strong via texting/app messaging and scaring them away. Dial it back a bit, talk less and set the date. Get her to show up and then amp it up.

 

[djthiago1]

4 - 5 messages max ask her out. Then next. If she messages you again just say ..oh sorry you must have missed my message and send the same message again. If you entertain these chicks you might as well be hanging out on Instagram

Guess i'm just getting bad leads then. Thanks for the help.

 

[Billtx49]

4 - 5 messages max ask her out. Then next. If she messages you again just say ..oh sorry you must have missed my message and send the same message again. If you entertain these chicks you might as well be hanging out on Instagram

Bingo. If they want to get to know you first or say it’s too soon before a date occurs and you comply, then there’s no excitement and mystery left to entice one.

 

[djthiago1]

Always escalate when you're in person. No need to go overboard on the flirting and innuendos when you're trying to set up a date. Keep the texting/convo to a minimum, ask for her number, CALL her, chat her up for a bit to build some rapport and set the date. On the date itself is when you amp up the physicality, the long eye contact, the flirting, making out, etc. You're probably coming on too strong via texting/app messaging and scaring them away. Dial it back a bit, talk less and set the date. Get her to show up and then amp it up.

I doubt that, i chat them up for 5 to 20 minutes with positive/funny stuff and try to get the date, i get the feeling they want to text for a month before building up the courage.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I doubt that, i chat them up for 5 to 20 minutes with positive/funny stuff and try to get the date, i get the feeling they want to text for a month before building up the courage.

post some actual text/app convos you've had.

 

[ubercat]

Not the courage. After a tough day at work you come home & channel surf. A chick laps up all the validation from her online dating messages and then makes fun of the guys with her friends

Basically if you're worrying about your online dating too much it's probably a sign that your sales funnel is out of balance. Cold or warm approach social circle and interests should provide a few chicks. Enter the weeks or months that there is a drought you work on becoming a better man.

 

[djthiago1]

Latest example:

*Girl had as bio: Meme and animal lover*

Me - what are you fav animals and meme pages on fb?

her - dogs and *famous meme page in my country*

me - well that doesn't count, everybody likes dogs and that meme page

her - hahaha sorry for not being unique

me - i was expecting "crocodiles and roman memes" haha

her - ask me for my second fav animal then

me - i'll bite. what's your second fav animal?

her - cows

me - what haha what do you like about cows? if it was horses i'd get it, but cows? BBQ maybe ?

her - hahaha i love bbqs, but that's not why ----> *long texts on why she loves cows*

me - you seem to have a nice personality, we should meet.

her - we should haha

me - lets get some *local food you guys wouldn't know* on sunday at 17h

her - I can't do it on sunday i got work, and let's get to know each other better before we meet in person, i just installed the app.

That's usually how it goes, light and fun chat, and then they ghost or give me some "text more" excuse after i ask them out.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Latest example:

*Girl had as bio: Meme and animal lover*

Me - what are you fav animals and meme pages on fb?

her - dogs and *famous meme page in my country*

me - well that doesn't count, everybody likes dogs and that meme page

her - hahaha sorry for not being unique

me - i was expecting "crocodiles and roman memes" haha

her - ask me for my second fav animal then

me - i'll bite. what's your second fav animal?

her - cows

me - what haha what do you like about cows? if it was horses i'd get it, but cows? BBQ maybe ?

her - hahaha i love bbqs, but that's not why ----> *long texts on why she loves cows*

me - you seem to have a nice personality, we should meet.

her - we should haha

me - lets get some *local food you guys wouldn't know* on sunday at 17h

her - I can't do it on sunday i got work, and let's get to know each other better before we meet in person, i just installed the app.

What was your response to the last thing she said?

 

[ubercat]

And sorry OP I'm going to hijack the thread a little bit to beat on one of my favourite drums. I've been sick for the last couple of days. Had a couple of drinks with an old mate was working at the same place now last night. Girlfriend has caught it so I went over to her place with some takeout kept her company and did 2 hours shadow kickboxing in front of the Australian Open on the idiot box. It what's hot in Melbourne and I was tired and achy and really didn't want to do that.

But I kept my routine because I trust the process. A lot of you guys seem to be trying to fuel the machine with external validation and or willpower. Build a good routine and only disrupt the routine for activities that support your higher goals.

 

[djthiago1]

What was your response to the last thing she said?

I said: It's a public place, during the day, and you'll be able to come and go whenever and however you want, 100% safe.

I should have just ignored her, i don't usually reply to rejections but i'm getting kind of annoyed.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I said: It's a public place, during the day, and you'll be able to come and go whenever and however you want, 100% safe.

I should have just ignored her, i don't usually reply to rejections but i'm getting kind of annoyed.

Try asking for the date after you've got the number, not through the app. Ask her for her number so you can give her a call and then on the call set the date up. Try that w/ the next 10 women you match with online and report back with the results.

 

[djthiago1]

Try asking for the date after you've got the number, not through the app. Ask her for her number so you can give her a call and then on the call set the date up. Try that w/ the next 10 women you match with online and report back with the results.

This is actually the first time EVER i asked a girl out on the app, my luck after the getting the number is pretty much the same.

 

[ubercat]

Ok so that is a bit of a fail. You tried to make her comfortable through logic. That's not a chicks primary input mode. You need you need to get her excited about meeting this is all about sales. Try inviting her to something that is on this weekend up her FOMO. E.g. there's a river market happening this weekend that I wanted to check out. I've got to head off at 11 because I'm meeting some people for blah blah. Why don't you meet me at 10 and we can have a coffee and walk around before I get going.

Most guys date ideas are incredibly lame so you've already improved your odds

 

[btownbuck2012]

This is actually the first time EVER i asked a girl out on the app, my luck after the getting the number is pretty much the same.

You need more data to truly evaluate but in my experience getting the number through the app, which can be done via a few quick back and forth messages, sending her a quick text and then having a convo at some point over the phone builds a-lot of rapport. Set the date on the phone call and then when you actually meet up with her is when you switch into sexual/flirty mode. Again, try this with the next 10 women you match with and come back with the results.

 

[skinnyguy]

Women online act like entitled princesses but if you meet them in person they act completely different. In person they know they can’t get a good looking guy unless they put in effort

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Should i give in and waste my time texting more?

In my experience this never works out. These women are creating hoops for you to jump through. I move on at the first hint of wishy washy behavior. It shouldn't take more than 3-4 messages and 1 phone call to get them on a date.