Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

OLD funnies thread.

biggoal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
2,549
Reaction score
431
Age
35
I was thinking about it for awhile but I think it would be a good thing to have this thread where you can posts texts from OLD profiles of some of the outrageous, over the top stuff women post on their OLD profiles like qualifiers, demands, or how damaged they're with baggage.

I'll start with a local one I saw today.

Would be awesome if you had your passport. Having a passport and speaking a foreign language would be even cooler. Ability to travel whenever you want on a whim is also a requirement of mine
yea b*tch I own a business, a job, bills to pay, etc. I can't just get up and travel and leave my business and job and not make money and blow thousands on airfare and plane tickets. Have fun staying single.
 

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few – not the unwashed masses.

image

If you think you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – and wish to continue being so – then skip this. It's too much power for you.

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,681
Reaction score
1,059
Age
53
Location
Scandinavia
Would be awesome if you had your passport.
yea b*tch I own a business, a job, bills to pay, etc.
but you dont have a passport.. b*tch. (and neither do 80% of Americans)
 

Amante Silvestre

Moderator
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
2,977
Reaction score
3,755
The whole travel thing was always an immediate disqualification for me.

I’ve dated these types. They’re usually pretty boring and are either bratty gold diggers or have a mountain of debt and a “look at how worldly and woke I am” attitude behind those passports.

There’s nothing wrong with travel, but when it’s made a high priority to state the obvious (I like vacations), it reeks.
 

biggoal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
2,549
Reaction score
431
Age
35
The whole travel thing was always an immediate disqualification for me.

I’ve dated these types. They’re usually pretty boring and are either bratty gold diggers or have a mountain of debt and a “look at how worldly and woke I am” attitude behind those passports.

There’s nothing wrong with travel, but when it’s made a high priority to state the obvious (I like vacations), it reeks.
I agree. And these types you usually see them on old for months or years at a time around here. They also seem to try and pry you for hints of your financial status and job early on, even before you possibly get a first date.

No shortage of them around here with all the old beta cuck sugar daddies down here. 80 percent of the old profiles ive seen around here they're travel obsessed.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

stormrider

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
1,487
Reaction score
2,870
Age
31
Me: Yeah we should get a hotel.

Her: If you don’t have a big penis then I’m not interested in anything casual, only relationship.

Me: Oh you don’t have to worry about that ;

You can’t make this stuff up. Apparantly she is over the c0ck carousel and looking for a serious LTR and not interested in casual sex anymore with ONE exception - guys with big penises.

And you guys thought the d1ck pick dudes were tools. Apparantly they knew what they were doing.
 

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,681
Reaction score
1,059
Age
53
Location
Scandinavia
she should be sending unsolicited pics of her tits before you even consider rewarding her
 

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,057
Reaction score
735
Age
33
"Looking for something casual but only if you're willing to be videotaped by my husband."

She didn't look bad either.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

biggoal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
2,549
Reaction score
431
Age
35
Or on OLD, mainly the garbage sites like POF, Tinder, and OKC when an HB1 45 year old messages you out of the blue. Mainly just on POF I run into that.

Do they REALLY think a guy will reply to them?
 

Visionist

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
205
Reaction score
115
Age
31
I remember one time a girl sent me t!t pics right after another, hotter girl had turned me down when I went for her number. These weren't OLD girls though. I was so annoyed with the no number girl that I blew off the t!t pic girl and she wasn't pleased, lol.

I did eventually reward t!t pic girl with a d!ck pic after she'd nagged me enough for one.
 

biggoal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
2,549
Reaction score
431
Age
35
Came across this on Match today. Funny she talks about being in such shape BUT looks about average at best for a woman. Cute face but not in physical shape by working out everyday as she claims on her profile. Looks a little flabby and could use some cardio, especially around the butt area. If you're going to have high standards you better look at least HB7.

Funny she mentions narcissist because she sounds like one herself in her profile LOL.

Her summary
Business owner. Supermom. Adventurer. Physically active every day. Always up for a challenge. Problem slayer. Realist. I’m at the beach daily. I need my daily dose of vitamin-sea. I’m looking for someone who knows how to treat a lady- kind, romantic, intelligent, sexy and most importantly knows how to have fun. I love deep meaningful conversations. A little about me- successful business owner, go-getter, avid tennis player, and most importantly mom. My day to day life is spent in flip flops and a Columbia shirt (work) but I ❤ to dress up for a fun night too. Looking for strong physical AND mental chemistry! If you are a couch potato, narcissist, over 50, it’s not going to work. Do NOT contact me for “just a hookup” there are plenty of other women out there looking for that, but I’m not you’re girl. I have high standards! I’ve worked really hard to get to where I’m at in life, and now I’m just looking for someone to enjoy it with. Too old for games and silly hookups.
 

biggoal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
2,549
Reaction score
431
Age
35
And that's not even nearly the worst. There is a cute little HB7 teacher, 43 single mom. Hasn't been on for awhile but her summary is about 4 pages or more long with qualifiers and "feelings" and all. I think I posted it on here before.

It's no wonder why those women are on OLD. probably so bad their friends won't even introduce them to guys or they ditch them after one date.

You see lots of types of summaries just like that down here with single moms. Like I said up in St. Louis and some of the other large cities I don't see nearly the BS profiles like I do down here.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

biggoal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
2,549
Reaction score
431
Age
35
Okay this is the longest one I've ever seen and maybe narcissistic as well when bragging about ones self. 29 and a CFO and lives on a sailboat? You guys said my old profile was too long but this is going too far.

I wonder what shes like irl by the way she describes her profile. Shes cute hb8. No reason she should be on old.

Either well done fake profile or it's real. My head is spinning trying to digest all that.

I'm a CFO by career and adventurer by nature - unique combination! I am looking for a monogamous life-partner who has a structured foundation similar to my own (i.e. career, retirement savings, organized and tidy, healthy lifestyle choices, reliable friends and family) so the rest of life can be spontaneous and explorative. I enjoy staying active with fresh air, healthy habits, socializing, etc. to counteract my structured career to which I commit 45-50 per week (standing-desk is a must!). I'm an early to bed, early rise type person Monday-Friday and the weekends are action packed rambunctious fun! I own rental properties in Tampa and have always enjoyed active and passive income ventures. 401k, HSA, ROTH, Money Markets - I really dig finance and budgeting and being financially stable with savings. I skip the TV and sports watching and shopping and video game playing in lieu for swimming, political and philosophical conversations, theater, volunteering, traveling, beach running, blading, cooking quality meals, and overall new experiences! I currently live on a Hunter49 sailboat at a marina and I'm learning to sail. I also enjoy jogging, hiking, snorkeling, SCUBA, yoga, houseboat projects, driving fast cars or seeing them race, and great food with conversation. Traveling is another favorite hobby and I've been to the EU, all over the Caribbean, Mexico, and many beautiful US cities such as Austin, Seattle, San Francisco, Atlanta, the Great Plains, and chilly upstate Michigan. My family is originally from Chicago, IL and I still maintain my Midwestern roots - hard worker, people lover, and fantastic cooking skills. Volunteering is important to me. I am a Rotarian and regularly participate in community service. I was raised Protestant (I am not religious. My family attends church each Sunday and is active in their congregation.) and have a high-moral compass. Do unto others as you would have done to you and let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. Integrity and follow-through are a few of personal qualities. I do believe in love and commitment. I believe love is a choice, not just a feeling. I am driven by actions and internally motivated. I am fairly independent and need my personal time as much as I do interaction with friends and family and my significant other. My love languages are: Quality Time Physical Touch I believe successful relationships are built around the three pillars: communication, finances, and sex. Communication being the most I've been working on lately - the second and third I've always been successful. I am not a serial dater. I enjoy meeting someone for a mutual hobby or possibly dinner (but let's get out and have fun!) and quickly determining if the interaction should continue. Time is a valuable resource and it should be spent with those who lift you up and at the very least treat you how you treat yourself or better. I do believe in life-long commitments. My sets of grandparents were both married for over sixty years and my parents are still happily married after more than 35 years. I have three brothers and I'm the second oldest. My brothers are educated, gainfully employed, and role models in my life. I do hope to return to finish the Master's Degree I started but life is so much fun right now and I've got a great career, so I'll do it when I'm bored enough to sit down. I need a strong gentleman who is looking for a strong woman as well can relate to the hobbies, ideals, and goals I've mentioned above. Looking forward to meeting you!
 

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,681
Reaction score
1,059
Age
53
Location
Scandinavia
You guys said my old profile was too long but this is going too far.
yours is too long for a GUY
who cares how long a womans is!

WHY DO YOU FVCKING CARE?
why are you continuously comparing your profile to a womans?????
 

xplt

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2019
Messages
187
Reaction score
150
I used old on a trip to iceland. Massive amount of bitches online. One made me laugh hard...

"Gag reflex as absent, as my father figure."
 

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,681
Reaction score
1,059
Age
53
Location
Scandinavia
ever notice that only HB5 and under put "no ONS" in the profile?

why? Because they are only being pumped and dumped... repeatedly
why? Because they are fat/ugly/old or all 3 and have nothing to offer the average man beyond a wet and warm
 

biggoal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
2,549
Reaction score
431
Age
35
ever notice that only HB5 and under put "no ONS" in the profile?

why? Because they are only being pumped and dumped... repeatedly
why? Because they are fat/ugly/old or all 3 and have nothing to offer the average man beyond a wet and warm
I also notice that saying too mainly on pof, okc, and tinder. The free apps that tend to be trashy.
 
Top