OLD FLAMES? YAY or NAY

[altechero]

Hey guys, new to the posting, but i've been lurking for quite some time now.
anyways..

like the title says.. old flames? yay or nay?
RECAP:
theres a girl i've known for quite some time, but we've never ****ed/kissed/etc. because back in the day I was a super AFC. She was really feeling me back then, but because of my lack of move/game i feel she lost interest over time. When i sensed the lost interest I smartened up and just cut off contact with her completely. We still met up maybe once every 6 months, but every time we'd meet up again I just couldn't find the balls to make a move.

Recently, after not seeing her for 7-8 months, she dropped me an IM and wanted to hang out. She'd seem very sincere/anxious to go out with me, but once we were out.. she seemed very distant and of course I still wasn't able to kick my AFCness for good. I know shes probably fed up with me by now, and it seems like she still has a spot for me deep in her heart, but each time we go out it slowly fades away. Now i'm getting sick and tired of my AFCness, and my chances of getting with her are very small.. but if i had a chance I would definitely take it.

Anyways i'm planning on sending her an e-mail as sort of a last effort/ganji game kind of thing and see what happens. I just want you guys to read the letter and to hear some more opinions on what would be the most appropriate move for my situation.

EMAIL:
Look, as a man i should be as straight up with you as possible
and i know i might've been giving u mixed signals, but i never meant to do that intentionally. Maybe you could probably care less because you don't see us that way anymore, but we cant deny that something could have happened between us in the past (unless you really are that coldhearted and like to play games). But that was then and this is now.

It was my job to strike while the iron was hot, but i never really came through on my end and after things cooled down, it just kinda dragged on and on. I'd be thinking about what kind of role you played in my life, or if you even really meant anything to me at all? When we first started hanging out, it was fresh and new cause we were still getting to know each other, but after a certain point i just kinda felt like we never really connected on any level and i always had this thinking that if it was meant to be things would just fall into place and work out you know? Maybe it was better things turned out the way they did. We might have just saved ourselves the trouble and heartbreak.

People say that you should never try to work things out with old flames or shoulda woulda couldas.. cause it only gets messier and hearts are wounded deeper. They say to just take it as lessons learned and move on, but neways the only reason i even brought this up to you is because i think itd be better for me if i put a closure to this part of my life, and take it for what it is. I dont wanna think about shoulda woulda couldas.. cause the past is the past and theres nothing we can do to change that.
<end of email>

CLIFFS: Old flame and me were never intimate or friends
meet up once every 6-9 months
she may still have some feelings for me
I (might) send her a e-mail (above) as a last effort/ganji game


Thanks for your time and help, this forum rocks!

 

[lookyoung]

Writing that letter would be a super AFC move. Next time you see her be more aggressive. Read the DJ bible for motivation. I guarantee if you write her that letter you will not accomplish your goal. This letter makes you look weak, insecure, and inexperienced. Woman like confident men. Next time you see her go for a kiss close. Then you will know where you stand.

Good luck

 

[edmond]

If she was an Ex, then the answer is always NEVER, but since you know her only slightly and if you like her, then yes.

 

[Bonhomme]

I disagree with edmond. I have a few exes I'd do in a heartbeat. Preferably at the same time.

 

[altechero]

Alright, it must be the late-night thinking, but now that I thought it over and heard
another opinion I definitely agree the letter is a no-go. but DAMN! even though I
have never been LJBFs by this girl, I feel so nervous whenever I try to make a move on her.

I have NO problem making a move on a *new* girl, it might just be cause i've known her for so long and never really tried to escalate things. She's not my friend, not an ex, and I havent been intimate whatsoever because I was an afc.

I just hate the thought of being rejected though, and since i've known her for so long she'd probably think im weird if I tried to bust a move on her out of the blue.

Do any of you guys have any experience with old-flames? I guess the worst thing that could happen if I try to kiss her is i swallow my pride a little.

 

[DJF or John]

altchero...let's break this down buddy........

 

[altechero]

any comebacks or witty remarks if she rejects your kiss? Would you try a second time?
To be honest, I know for a FACT she liked me a couple years ago, but I was a huge
AFC and she's probably sick of me by now.

But i feel like she may feel the same way as i do as far as curiousity. I have never told
her I liked her or vice versa, but even though her interest may be pretty low i'm pretty
sure she wonders/thinks about how it would be like if we ****ed/went out together.

 

[lookyoung]

Go for the kiss close and take it from there. What is the worst that can happen? She will say no. Who gives a fvck what she says or thinks.

Altechero you are the prize. Now get out there and kiss close this braud. Your a LION she is a sheep. Now you get out there and be man.

Remember every experience with woman whether good or bad is a learning experience in your path to becoming a DJ.


BTW read paradox thread on rejection. This is great for motivation.


Good luck.

 

[DJF or John]

Here's your email:

"Look, as a man i should be as straight up with you as possible."

Then if that's your purpose, you need to embrace your sexuality, stop hiding it, and let how to control it and give her a great time and a great nvt. Refer to my thread in the Tips section called, "Here's the magic pill."

Continue with your Electronic Message.....

"i know i might've been giving u mixed signals, but i never meant to do that intentionally. Maybe you could probably care less because you don't see us that way anymore, but we cant deny that something could have happened between us in the past (unless you really are that coldhearted and like to play games). But that was then and this is now."

90% of men in America can't figure women out, and you know why? Because there's NOTHING TO figure out. It's like trying to hide from the Boogeyman, there's no damn Boogeyman (except for that guy on WWE)...the boogeyman is your MADE UP fantasy. YOU think women are this and that...YOU have developed all these theories. Women just want TO BUST A DAMN NVT. And it's men like you who are too damn AFRAID TO EMBRACE THEIR SEXUALITY and LEARN HOW TO CONTROL AND CHANNEL THEIR SEXUALITY, that fvck everything up. And you want to "make it up" with your "niceness." Women like nice guys, but they like A GREAT FVCK FIRST! If you cant' give her a GREAT FVCK FIRST, then get lost! Stop wasting everybody's time!

I won't even include the rest of your "Electronic Message," you need to read my thread in the tips section..then come back and post either there or here, if you understand what I am saying. If you don't, I will help you figure it out more.

But you are really pissing women off with this shyt. It's nothing more that a woman loves MORE.....than a GREAT FVCK and A NICE GUY/GENTLEMEN. But you MUST pass the Great Fvck Value Proposition first. 90% of guys spend all their time trying to win the Nice Guy/Great Relationship approval...and that's fine. But if you don't win the Great Fvck approval, you ain't even getting close to the Great Relationship approval.

Go read my thread.

 

[DJF or John]

And if you happen to get in the Great Relationship approval WITHOUT winning in the Great Fvck approval, you WILL BE USED AND ABUSED. Period.

Jerks, PUAs, etc..they already have this shyt figured out. Thats' why they fvck and leave and they LOSE in the Great Relationship approval...but guess what? Because they win in teh Great Fvck approval, the woman is OPEN to having them in the Great Relationship approval and just "working" with the guy to get him a little better at relationships.

That's why you see women with total azzholes trying to "change" them.

 

[altechero]

You just opened the **** out of eyes. completely different perspective.
And the funny thing is all this time, I have been reading posts about
all these specific little things you have to do to try to get girls. but
the answer has been there in plain text all along. GET SEXUAL!?
somebody get me some new glasses...

Now that i think about it, what you say really does make a lot of sense.
(I.e. thugs/rappers/badboys getting more azz- they tend to be more
openly sexual than other people). & If you dont get azz by the third
date, most likely you aren't getting any and from here on out SHE gets
to wear the pants. what BLASPHEMY.

Anyways, i'm back off to reading the rest of your posts. With the matter
of this girl, i will try to kiss close and do what mother nature made me to do-
FCUK! if she rejects, ill just brush it off and get my game on cruise control.
The hardest part is starting the car from a stop, once I start moving, getting to a cruise will be no problemo!

DJF or John's posts: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=383466