old flame returns...

[seek&destroy]

So last night I had a dream about this girl I had a ONEITIS for a few years back. Long story short...I asked her out and she turned me down saying she needed to focus on school and didn't need anyone new in her life ATM. Two weeks later, she started dating someone from our class, which really brought me down. I still see her every day, we still talk, but I have almost forgotten the whole ordeal.

Today, she tells me she's been having a stressful week and when I asked her why, she said that they broke up. I told her I was sorry to hear that, and we talked about the whole thing for a while.
Two hours later, she texts me, saying "thanx for being there for me. I really appreciate that. See you tmrw ".

What the hell is going on here? Is she telling me she is available now? I mean she said they only broke up yesterday. I doubt this is the case, and I don't want it to be, since I can't trust her after what happened between us in the past. What should I do? I appreciate your input.



Thanks guys!

 

[psychoticpsychote]

Hey mate, I'm no moderator, but this would have best been posted in the high school section of this forum. They have specialized people there to help with issues unique to high school and you'll also pick up tips from your more successful peers.
Regarding this girl of yours - I hate to say it but honesty is important here - she's using you as an emotional tampon. She's not throwing you hints that she's available and that you should again ask her out, if that's what you're hoping. If anything, she's rubbing her cooch in your face whilst chanting, 'You'll never get this! You'll never get this!'

What I think you should do depends on how you feel about her. If you still fancy her, then you can't be her friend. Being her friend when you want some thing more than that will only irritate you and bring you down in the long run.
If you can handle just being friends with her, which unfortunately seems like the only real possibility for you right now, then by all means be her friend. It pays to have female friends, it really does.
However, let me introduce you to a bitchy phenomenon that's likely to happen when you legitimately want nothing but friendship from her: She'll pick up on this and try to make you like her again. All the while, she'll be cock-blocking you from other girls. This doesn't mean she wants you; it just means you've damaged her ego and she needs your validation again.

Be careful, S&D, these HS girls are walking nightmares.

 

[seek&destroy]

I'm in college bro...highschool does not apply to me. Thanks for the advice, and that ego stuff you're talking about...I saw it coming on before they broke up. About 2 weeks ago, I turned around to see her staring directly at me. She smiled and kept eye contact for a few seconds.

This is the end of my college career. I have 2 weeks to make something happen, but I don't know where I stand anymore. On one hand, I know I will probably never see her again after this. This kind of pushes me to give it one more shot...I don't know why, but knowing that she's single again somehow has me wondering...what if...

Also...I lost my cool when she started going out with him. I basically told her off one day, and thanked her for wasting my ****ing time. I called her out for being childish and lacking any common respect toward people in general. All because she lied to me by telling me she didn't need a man in her lift at the moment and wanted to focus on her studies, only to start dating him not even 2 weeks later. I said some pretty bad things back then, yet she still talks to me.

PS I have been a member on these boards for years...SINCE I was in HS.

 

[Gro0ver]

Why is she worth your attention again? She rejected you for another dude....have some pride and find pvssy elsewhere. You will be faced with these situations occasionally and the more you act in a way that promotes pride and self-respect, the more you'll start to radiate this and become more attractive as a result.

Trust me, this is an important test even though you don't realise it....don't waste the opportunity to grow yourself

 

[Renegade357]

What the hell is going on here? Is she telling me she is available now? I mean she said they only broke up yesterday. I doubt this is the case, and I don't want it to be, since I can't trust her after what happened between us in the past. What should I do? I appreciate your input.

Heh, have fun playing pyschiatrist for this girl because it's not going anywhere. If I was you I'd tell her to call you when she gets her head straight. (she won't) You don't like discussing her personal relationship issues because its none of your business. Then you walk like you shoulda done 2 years ago

 

[seek&destroy]

Oh I walked 2 years ago..in fact, I cut off all contact with her for a year straight after I told her off, but I was still seeing her every day in class. Never talked to her for a while, until a few months ago. We started hanging out on breaks, usually we would go and have a cigarette while we talk. I don't plan to do anything at all regarding this, until the very last day, if I really want to. But she's giving me signs of interest again, getting my attention. She knows we have a lot in common, and when she told me they broke up, she said that she always felt like two of them had nothing in common, before he broke it all off via text message.

She said she won't sit and wait, and if he doesn't want to be with her, there are plenty other guys who would. For some reason I still want her...don't know why, especially given the circumstances.

 

[Alvafe]

yeah dude I gonna tell you its a trap , from what I read here, and I get, and somewhere I still am on that thing, just don't go after her, maybe the reason you still want her is your ego, you kind thing I lost last time and won't lose this time, not gonna help, just walk away,

one side note though, diference btw HS and college is just the place, its the same mentality

 

[Renegade357]

She said she won't sit and wait, and if he doesn't want to be with her, there are plenty other guys who would. For some reason I still want her...don't know why, especially given the circumstances.

Haha, if she liked you so much she'd stop talking about her loser boyfriend. You gotta bottom line her actions and words man. Your emotions towards her mean nothing. She's using you as an emotional crutch/filler.

 

[bullethead]

She is using you as an emotional crutch. She is going to contact you a lot in the next few days. But know this, when she is hanging out with you another guy would be on her mind. She is using you bro, drop her. Because she will drop you if the ex-boyfriend comes back.

 

[seek&destroy]

We were hanging out just moments ago for a smoke, and I asked her what she is doing after we are done school. She asked me if I meant today, looked at me and smiled. I said...no...after we're completely done. I asked her why she thought I meant today, but she didn't answer as the teacher was about to start her lecture for the day.

How do I approach this situation? I do want to show her just how dependent and considerate I can be. I can see based on her behavior over the past two years, that this is the only way in for me.

Any tips guys??
Thanks!

 

[Hustlaz Ambition]

For ****s sake forget this sl00t. Ignore her and pursue other girls and start spinning plates. If something hits off with another girl SHE WILL NOTICE and get attracted. For all you know she could be spinning plates on you.

I'm not saying ignore her completely just be standoffish for now.

 

[Hustlaz Ambition]

How could u be on this board for like 5 years and think that u are anything more than just an emotional tampon in the friend zone?? Have u read anything in the DJ bible?? Holy hell... This thread has to be a prank... Where is Ashton?? Hahaha

Like the dude in the first response said I thought this guy was still in highschool, but yet OP is at the end of his college career making rookie mistakes like this? Good hell I if dudes in college are like this then the competition is going to weak(I start college next month). It would not surprise me though. Alpha males are like the loch ness monster and bigfoot in society these days.

OP FORGET THIS B1TCH! For your own sanity and manhood jump ship!

 

[Sneevox]

See you tmrw ".


!

It would be humorous and probably helpful to the situation to "be busy" tomorrow.
Also, make sure that if you want her, tell her you're available another day and be ready to do something that YOU want to do.
Also, **** her emotions. She can feel sad about the situation, but don't sit and talk with her about it.
Instead..! You should have fun and make her happy by having fun WITH her.
Dude, trust me, avoid the emotional tampon ****.
It will ruin you every time.

 

[seek&destroy]

We went out for lunch and a movie with a few friends from our school. Everything went well, but she told me that she is going to talk to her ex over the weekend to try and work it all out.

This just goes to show that she, like most other women, really doesn't know what she wants now. Last week she said she is done with him and the he will have a mountain to climb if he wants her back. I knew in the end it would come down to this. There is no doubt in my mind that they will end up getting back together.

These last few days have been a mixed bag for me. Some days I think I'm still into her, the others I somehow know I'm not, but then it comes back later on. All of this will sort itself out once school is over. I won't have to see her every day and that will help take my mind off her for good.

I've created too much confusion posting about this over the past week or so. More than was ever needed, when the solution was actually real ****ing simple...just forget about her already.

Thanks y'all!

 

[Renegade357]

I've created too much confusion posting about this over the past week or so. More than was ever needed, when the solution was actually real ****ing simple...just forget about her already.

Thanks y'all!

Haha well I guess you had to learn the hard way. Don't worry though man we've all been there before. Most of the older guys like me had to learn it a few times before we finally figured it out because we didn't have great resources like this forum. If you're smart you'll learn and not let it happen again. Just remember if she has a boyfriend you're wasting your time. It doesn't get any more simple than that. Just one of many lessons.

 

[seek&destroy]

I did spin a few plates last year...but I didn't find dating a few girls at a time to be as enjoyable as I thought it would be...I am more the type of guy who is looking to find someone to have a real, meaningful relationship with....an adult relationship, and none of that teen bull**** where two people date for 5-12 months, then one of them gets sick of the other one and dumps him/her.

This girl and I have a lot (a ****-ton, a truckload, call it what you will!) in common. We always have, ever since I got to know her. It's kind of eerie how alike we are, and now I can see that's why she doesn't want me as anything more than a friend. She doesn't need another near carbon-copy of herself...she's already got that.

The ****ed up thing is...she told me this guy broke up with her via text message. He didn't even have the balls to tell her that face to face. Alas, none of that matters now.

 

[seek&destroy]

We talked about our past relationships today, since she brought it up. Yes, they are back together now, he called her last night and they had a long talk, so I was right about this once again.

During this conversation, she said they will give it another try, at which point I said that is all that can be done now. You can't just give up. She agreed, and said that she can't afford to make another mistake. At this point, I said that she can't make more mistakes than I have made, and brought up how I messed up the situation with her. It was at this point that she turned directly to me and said:

"Yes, John, you did mess up with me by sending me that email. To be honest, I was thinking about going out with you prior to that moment, but once I received it, I saw that you were in dire need of attention from me. That is actually why I turned you down."

I said I knew that, and that I fully realized the extend of my mistake many months ago.

It took me 2 ****ing years, but I finally confirmed what I thought I already knew! Now I know how not to **** up next time when put in the same situation!

 

[Renegade357]

Haha, it's amazing how much in common you have with a girl you've got the ole oneitis over.

 

[bullethead]

We talked about our past relationships today, since she brought it up. Yes, they are back together now, he called her last night and they had a long talk, so I was right about this once again.

During this conversation, she said they will give it another try, at which point I said that is all that can be done now. You can't just give up. She agreed, and said that she can't afford to make another mistake. At this point, I said that she can't make more mistakes than I have made, and brought up how I messed up the situation with her. It was at this point that she turned directly to me and said:

"Yes, John, you did mess up with me by sending me that email. To be honest, I was thinking about going out with you prior to that moment, but once I received it, I saw that you were in dire need of attention from me. That is actually why I turned you down."

I said I knew that, and that I fully realized the extend of my mistake many months ago.

It took me 2 ****ing years, but I finally confirmed what I thought I already knew! Now I know how not to **** up next time when put in the same situation!

You live an you learn kid. And you become a better man for it. Forget this girl, hit the gym, stop fapping, and read the book of pook.

 

[seek&destroy]

You live an you learn kid. And you become a better man for it. Forget this girl, hit the gym, stop fapping, and read the book of pook.

I'm 25 (almost)...about to graduate from college in 2 weeks, and still striking out miserably...

It's time for a change, and I think you all know what that means.

Yesterday was the final nail in the coffin for me. Right before I told her I know how I messed up with her, she said she was seeing a friend of her's at the time when I asked her out. She said that she felt extremely awkward around him, and that she was just staying with the kid not to break his heart. He was 3 years younger than her, at least that's what she said.

This made me realize: I was friendzoned from the moment she figured out I had a thing for her, because I was chasing after her like a headless chicken! She took the signs and basically played me for a fool, making me think she was interested in me, while she was just using me for help with schoolwork...what a chump I was then, sadly there's still some of that mentality left within me...

When I confronted her about this, and I told her just how obvious I made it for her, she denied knowing that I was into her. I should have seen the signs of disaster back then, but I was too oblivious to do so. LIVE AND LEARN, right?

After she rejected me, I stopped talking to her...completely for the next 6 months. An entire semester went by without me saying as much of as a single word to her.

When we came back for our final term, I started talking to her again. Then came the "break up"...which I knew on some level was just a pre-emptive move on his part to gain the power back. It reminded me of that Seinfeld episode when George gets the idea about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTafIPV52ZA

In the end I was right. Even though she told me he will have a mountain to climb in order to get her back, she was ready to patch things up rather quickly. My view is...he will get tired of her very soon, and kick her to the curb. If he did it once when he sensed he was losing control, there is absolutely no doubt that he WILL do that to her again. But in the end, that's what she deserves for being so open with every guy she interacts with. I've been observing her for the past week or so, and she really is very flirty with just about anyone. I don't need someone like that in my life, thank GOD this is over now .